Category: Knitting

Lurking in the depths of the darkest shadows imaginable, just beyond the tips of our very noses, lay a beast, hiding, waiting, biding its time. For nearly a hundred years it remained patiently and quietly stalking victims, becoming all the more incensed at having been forgotten in the first place. When at last the monster could hold its silence no more, back into the daylight it burst with teeth bared and mouth stretched into a wicked smile, ready to destroy any unfortunate onlooker that stood in its way.

Look out, run for you lives! It’s…. It’s…

A really, terribly old picture. That Godzilla look-alike up there? He’s a gentle giant, take it from me, and wouldn’t hurt a fly! The monster is the photo itself, having somehow slipped between the cracks of my hard drive for nearly 2 years. And seriously, that’s got to be close to 100 in photo-years.

Renewed efforts at cleaning up my mess of a computer opened up a whole treasure trove of forgotten projects, this lovable brute included. It would just be a shame not to share him, so please, forgive me for posting such fiendishly bad photos, and just be mindful not to make any loud noises and spook the old devils.

Made for a friend who loves Godzilla, I started with Knitty‘s Norberta, and modified it accordingly as I went along… The details, I can’t remember the foggiest bit.

But ahh, it feels so much better to get that demon out in the open. Now, about the rest of this junk I found… I can’t say for sure it will fare so well!

Fingers tapping nervously, eyes on the clock, the whole day was slipping by while I remained completely stranded. Trapped at the same point, seeing the same depressing sights over and over again, my mind was furiously trying to work out a solution to no avail; it was only a matter of time before absolute insanity set it. Here I was, in the middle of no where… And I couldn’t get into my email. Oh, horror of horrors, how can one survive for any amount of time without being able to check your messages? Especially while waiting to hear back on some critical and time-sensitive issues, each minute that passed as the same error message flicked across the screen felt like a whole year, my anxiety building in leaps and bounds.

Finally giving in and admitting that this was a problem beyond my reach, the frantic phone calls to technical support at least yielded progress; A computer expert would be sent to help, and should arrive any moment. Prepping the entry way as if expecting an ambulance, I cleared a path to the ailing patient. On pins and needles when the “expert” showed up, my heart sank at the sight before my eyes- There was no way that this little guy could possibly help here!

After all, what do penguins know about computers? Still, he seemed somehow familiar, so I graciously accepted his offer to investigate the problem, desperate to just get back to business as usual.

Quickly stepping in and getting right to work, it was only a minute or two before the screen glowed with my inbox again, displaying dozens of new messages in need to responses. I was so elated, I hugged my helper tightly; I was saved! A day without email has become akin to a day without food or water, sad to say, and this guy had come to my rescue just in time.

Perhaps you’re experiencing some computer troubles yourself? It happens to the best of us, so be prepared, and have some technical support on hand just in case. You can easily make yourself a computer-savvy penguin just like this guy who came to my aid, too!

Linux-Like Penguin

Body and Head:
With #7 US DPNs and black worsted weight yarn, CO3 and distribute among needles
Kfb into each st (6 sts)
Kfb into each st (12sts)
K1, kfb* around (18 sts)
K2, kfb* around (24 sts)
K3, kfb* around (30 sts)
K4, kfb* around (36 sts)
K5, kfb* around (42 sts)
K 8 rounds even
K5, k2tog* around (36 sts)
K 1 round even
K4, k2tog* around (30 sts)
K3, k2tog* around (24 sts)
K 2 rounds even

-Lightly stuff the head before continuing-

K3, kfb* around (30 sts)
K 1 round even
K4, kfb* around (36 sts)
K 1 round even
K5, kfb* around (42 sts)
K 1 round even
K6, kfb* around (48 sts)
K 1 round even
K7, kfb* around (54 sts)
K 5 rounds even
K8, kfb* around (60 sts)
K 5 rounds even
K9, kfb* around (66 sts)
K 10 rounds even
K9, k2tog* around (60 sts)
K8, k2tog* around (54 sts)
K7, k2tog* around (48 sts)
K6, k2tog* around (42 sts)
K5, k2tog* around (36 sts)
K4, k2tog* around (30 sts)
K3, k2tog* around (24 sts)

Stuff the body, break the yarn and draw it through the remains stitches, tying tight.

Beak:
CO3 with orange worsted weight yarn
Kfb into each st (6 sts)
K1, kfb* around (9 sts)
K2, kfb* around (12 sts)
K3, kfb* around (15 sts)
K 1 round even
K4, kfb* around (18 sts)
K 2 rounds even
BO

Wing (Make 2):
With straight needles (these are knit flat) and black worsted weight yarn, CO4
Purl first and all odd rows
Sl, k3
Sl, kfb twice, k1 (6 sts)
Sl, kfb, k2, kfb, k1 (8 sts)
Sl, kfb, k4, kfb, k1 (10 sts)
Sl, kfb, k6, kfb, k1 (12 sts)
Sl, kfb, k8, kfb, k1 (14 sts)
Sl, k all for 8 rows
P one more row before you BO knit-wise, leaving 6 inch tail

Finishing:
Print out the template for the details, and cut the appropriate pieces out of the specified colors of felt. Color in the pupils for the eyes with fabric markers. Sew into place with invisible thread, or thread of a matching color. Embroider the beak, lightly stuff, and attach. Never worry about computer problems again with this clever penguin on your side!

…But not in the way that you might think.  Whereas diamonds last forever, sweaters just take forever to make!  Once upon a time, many months ago, one eager knitter poured over catalogs of yarn and various patterns, picking out the most appealing colors and flattering shapes.  Those eight skeins of yarn came quickly with rush mail, and were soon wound into balls and set onto needles.  Brilliant lavender strands, soft as could be, and organic cotton no less!  They were a joy to simply cast on with.

However, no matter how many stitches were knit and purled, progress was almost impossible to see, and it became abundantly clear that the sweater would not be finished for a birthday celebration only days away.  Luckily, the incredibly patient and understanding recipient merely suggested that it would be just as nice as a Hannukah present, too.  And so the knitter continued, metal needles clacking together late into the night… But alas, there were still two sleeves and a collar missing by the time the whole eight days of the holiday had elapsed.

Still undeterred, it sounded like this sweater might make an excellent mother’s day present instead.  There was plenty of time until then, right?  For most focused people, yes, but this knitter became forgetful, and the sad scraps of sweater remained untouched that whole time.  Trashing the whole project was an enticing idea, but as the weather grew cold once again, a warm garment really did sound like a wonderful gift… And when else would I have enough free time to make such an involved project? It was now or never.

Down to the wire and a mere hour or two before it was time to light the final candle of the menorah, a real Hannukah miracle occurred:  The last stitches made, seams were sewn, and ends were buried in.  And so, over one year later (practically forever, if you ask me), a sweater was born!

Happy Birthday, Hannukah, Mother’s Day, Birthday, and Hannukah, Mom! Hopefully this thing lasts, because I have a feeling that it I won’t be making many more sweaters in the future.

Not a day goes by that the approaching holidays can be ignored or forgotten. “Only x days until Christmas!”, newscasters cheerfully chirp every night, as this stationary date is clearly more important and exciting than any breaking news. Even driving down the highway, those fancy electronic billboards scroll past screens wishing us a happy holiday, right before turning back to some ad for a multipurpose nose/ear/facial hair trimmer (the perfect gift?) It’s absolutely impossible to escape these reminders, and with every last mention of the holidays, I can feel the pressure mounting. Only so much time left to make gifts, figure out desserts for the family feasts, and most importantly, post recipes for all of you to have time to make yourselves!

Trying to get my priorities straight and taking one step at a time, I figured that the best plan of action was to start at the beginning: Put up the decorations, get into the “holiday spirit,” and then take it from there.

In a matter of minutes, my sparkly one foot tall plastic tree was assembled and decked out with the standard blue bobbles, and it was starting to feel a lot more like Christmas indeed. Standing back to admire my handy work, something caught my eye at the base of the tree…

Impossibly fast, a pair of tiny elves had already spotted my festive shrubbery and descended upon it, installing perfectly wrapped gifts in mass amounts. Do they have Christmas tree radar or something?! Of all creatures that might be feeling some pressure about the looming celebration, they certainly weren’t letting it show. On top of their game, they simply buzzed around like pollen-hungry bees until the job was done, knowing that there would be much more work to do before the day was over. If only I could bottle that enthusiasm and efficiency, I might be able to complete my to-do list in time!

Even this tiny guy, no bigger than my thumb, could pull my weight and then some when it comes to this holiday business. Instead of stewing over it though, I had better get back to work…!

[Knit elf pattern from Mochi Mochi Land]

Regardless of your political orientation, this new pattern from Mochimochi Land makes for a good distraction while waiting for election day to arrive. If only the real candidates were equally cute and lovable!

Paying rapt attention to all things in the kitchen often means ignoring most things outside of it.  Sad but true, this limited focus creates an almost comical imbalance when it comes to keeping up with housework.  The pile of dirty laundry may be threatening to takeover the bathroom and I haven’t seen my bedroom floor in ages, but… Look, I baked seven cakes today!  Doesn’t that make up for it?

Alas, my parents don’t quite see eye-to-eye with this exchange rate, and so for their sake at least, I do try to turn off the oven every now and then to shift my one-track focus to these chores.  Considering how few times anything gets dusted or swept, I thought it might be nice if I took out a broom and started tacking those dust bunnies.

Swishing the stiff straw bristles over the brick fireplace and working through the living room, I was quite shocked when I did in fact find more than just soot and dirt, but in fact, an actual dust bunny! Peeking out from beneath the old sofa, it seemed just as startled as I did, eyeing that suspicious broom with a look of terror.

As if I could even think about sweeping this little bunny away- Who knew that this level of neglect would create such an adorable problem! If only dust bunnies were always so cute, I would be sorely tempted to swear off cleaning altogether.