Fast Food Survival Guide, Vegan Style

Fast food is frequently scorned for serving vast amounts of empty calories to those most susceptible to the temptation, and yet, they not only persist, but continue to thrive. The fact of the matter is that fast food, specifically designed to be hyper-palatable by hitting all the pleasure centers of the brain for salt, fat, and sugar, is the definition of comfort food. Love it or hate it, it speaks to human nature and the desire to eat what tastes good, sometimes to the detriment of health and harmony.

Why Should Anyone Care About Fast Food?

While I didn’t grow up eating fast food nor did I seek it out as an adolescent, it still holds a strange intrigue, if only because it’s omnipresent no matter where I go. There will almost always be a better option nearby, especially in a big city where restaurants flourish in abundance and diversity, but that isn’t the case across the board.

  • Sometimes in food desserts, on road trips, or simply stranded out in middle America, you’re lucky enough to find a place serving food that isn’t shrink-wrapped and shelf stable.
  • Maybe it’s a crime of convenience, if you’re without proper transportation and can only travel on foot to the nearest strip mall. Let’s not forget that these quick service establishments tend to be most accessible in under served neighborhoods, where public transit may or may not connect.
  • It could very well be that you’re working the night shift, leaving few sit-down restaurants with the lights on when you finally clock out. Many chains are open into the AM hours, with some returning to a full 24/7 model.

While I wouldn’t advocate for making fast food a regular staple, it does serve a purpose. There’s a time and a place where it makes sense, so the key is learning how to make it work for you.

Eating Vegan At Fast Food Restaurants

Vegan meals will always be limited as best at nationwide chains, but slow advances in awareness and shifting market demands have brought us better options in many ways. Each establishment will have their own unique way of processing foods, ingredients, and possible contaminants, so it’s essential to research further information when in doubt. As a general guideline, here’s what you can expect when getting vegan fast food from most American chains.

  • French fries: Yes, of course, the dependable, omnipresent fried potato. They’re a staple for any place serving burgers and are typically just spuds, oil, and salt.
    • Pitfalls: Frying oil is typically shared with no vegan ingredients, such as battered items that contain dairy or eggs, and meat or fish as well. If allergies are a concern, this would be off the menu. In rare cases, such as McDonald’s, the fries may be cooked in beef tallow or oil that has added beef extract for flavor.
  • Hash browns: Just another form of crispy potato, this is one you can eat for breakfast! Get creative and ask for them on a sandwich instead of a burger patty, topped with vegetables and ketchup if you’d like, to make it more of a meal.
    • Pitfalls: Breakfast is often served only until 10 or 11am, so you’ll have limited opportunities to take advantage of these ‘taters. They share the same other issues with French fries regarding cross-contamination and potential beef additives in rare instances.
  • Salad: Don’t expect a lush, fresh combination of flavorful vegetables, legumes, and healthy fats, but it’s nice to just get some greens on the go. Basic iceberg, carrot shreds, and cherry tomatoes are about the extent of it.
    • Pitfalls: Always ask to remove the cheese and croutons, and avoid all creamy dressings. Balsamic vinaigrette is your best friend! Italian might do the trick, but sometimes includes Parmesan cheese, too.

    • Burgers: Thanks to the widespread acceptance of Impossible and Beyond Meat, plant based burgers have become more common. Look for them at Burger King, Carl’s Junior, White Castle, among  many others.
      • Pitfalls: Always ask for these burgers without cheese and mayonnaise which sometimes come as the default build. Again, they’re cooked on shared surfaces and could end up containing small amounts of animal products by accident. If you’re concerned and ask very nicely, some places may microwave your meatless meal separately.
      • Additionally, some old school vegetarian “veggie burgers” are still made with eggs or cheese mixed directly into the patty. When faced with protein made in-house or from an unknown brand, always ask for more information to get the full ingredient list.
      • The buns may be another cause for concern. They may contain eggs and dairy, and while some establishments may be able to offer your a different type of sliced bread without animal products, there are no promises. Again, when in doubt, ask for your burger wrapped in lettuce, on a bed of lettuce, or just naked.

  • Hot and cold beverages: Drink up! Most choices on the soda fountain will be refreshingly worry-free. Soda, lemonade, iced tea, and of course water are perfectly fine for sweet hydration. Black coffee, without creamer, is clutch for an early morning visit.
    • Pitfalls: The Coca Cola company has confirmed that all their soda options are free of animal products and derivatives. However, Pepsi is much less forthcoming about their ingredients and can only confirm that original Pepsi and Pepsi Max are completely vegan.
  • Fruit: Don’t expect an array of lush, seasonal cut fruits, but you can finish your meal with a healthy dose of unrefined sugar through cut apple slices or applesauce in most cases.
    • Pitfalls: None! There’s no prep and it’s typically a single-ingredient situation. Apples are cheap and abundant, so you can count on them to be available in most places.

Best National Vegan Fast Food Restaurants

Given the luxury of choice, there are many better places to stop for plant-based meals. Taking only classic burger joints into consideration, many more upscale chains will offer a wealth of more flavorful, creative, and health-conscious options. It would be impossible to cover all of them, but a few of my favorites include:

Next Level Burger

Found inside of Whole Foods Markets across the country, this 100% plant-based burger joint is making waves. You can get everything from a classic cheeseburger to a fanciful Blue BBQ Burger, Ghost Pepper Popper Burger, and more. Don’t forget the dairy-free shakes, blended up in 8 to 10 different flavors.

Veggie Grill

From the vast array of completely vegan bowls, sandwiches, salads, and sides, the burger remains an irreplaceable best seller, with options for a Beyond patty or house-made black bean and mushroom mixture. I’d always stop at Veggie Grill if they could expand to cover more of the country! For now, they remain stationed in California, Oregon, Washington, Massachusetts, and New York.

Umami Burger

Though no longer the transcendent, truffled experience it once was, Umami still offers the Impossible Burger to swap in for any other build. I’m sad that the menu has changed and no longer includes vegan cheese, aioli, or milkshakes, but they do proper justice to the patty with a skillful sear, at least. Plus, their thin fries are some of the best around; order two, especially if you’re sharing, since a single serving is tiny.

Fast food shouldn’t necessarily be synonymous with bad food. Depending on the time, place, and circumstances, it may just be the best sustenance you can get. To keep it vegan, you just need to remain calm, carry on, and be unafraid to ask questions.

Kalua Pork Without The Oink

Kalua pork isn’t just an entree; it’s a whole lifestyle. One of the earliest native Hawaiian foods recorded in the annals of history, it’s been a staple of the culture for thousands of years. It was, and still is, a dish of celebration, a momentous event in and of itself, to be reserved for only the most joyous occasions. Since the traditional approach could easily take all day, it’s not an undertaking for last-minute parties or spur of the moment cravings.

Vegan kalua pork is a whole different story.

What Is Traditional Kalua Pork?

The term kālua in Hawaiian means “to cook in an underground oven.” This is a complicated and time-consuming process, which begins by starting a fire at the bottom of a large pit using koa or kiawe wood. Porous lava rocks are then added like coals and heated for several hours. The hot rocks are then spread out at the base of the pit and covered with banana leaves and ti leaves. A whole pig is then placed on top, covered with additional leaves to trap the steam inside, and finally covered in dirt to seal the entire pit. After 6 to 12 hours, the meat will emerge fully cooked and infused with smoky flavor.

What Makes Vegan Kalua Pork Better

Most recipes for plant-based kalua pork start with jackfruit, given its uniquely fibrous texture that shreds beautifully. Not knocking it, but jackfruit itself is pretty bland, and can be downright woody when not cooked properly. Start with Sugimoto shiitake that are guaranteed to give you a tender, meaty bite and an incredible depth of flavor, every single time.

  • Ready in minutes. Bad at planning ahead? Me too! This recipe is so easy that you can whip it up in 15 minutes, from start to finish, if you have soaked shiitake ready to go.
  • Hearty and healthy. High in fiber, potassium, and Vitamin D. Sugimoto Shiitake in particular have the most natural Vitamin D of any dried mushrooms on the market.
  • Meatless. Naturally, by omitting the pork, you get a cholesterol-free, low-fat treat that’s still rich in Guanylate, which enhances flavors and creates a much more intense overall umami flavor.

Tips For Success

No matter what, you can’t go wrong with this brilliantly simple, quick recipe. To get the maximum enjoyment out of the process and best result, here’s what you need to know.

  • Start with Sugimoto Koshin Shiitake. These particular shiitake have larger, flatter caps, which makes for a much finer shredded texture, just like pulled pork.
  • Save any excess mushroom soaking water and stems for another recipe. These are great in all sorts of soups and stews!
  • Use a sharp knife to make fine shredded ribbons. Take your time; this step is key for getting the right mouthfeel.

What To Serve With Meatless Kalua Pork

All you really need to enjoy this entree is a fork, but like any other simple dish, it only gets better with accompaniments and garnishes.

  • Slap some vegan kalua pork on a soft slider bun or vegan Hawaiian roll and top it off with a crisp, crunchy slaw. This is the ultimate backyard BBQ or potluck offering, sure to be a hit with kids and adults alike.
  • Dress it up as a typical Hawaiian plate lunch, with a generous scoop of hot white rice and creamy mac salad. Use your favorite pasta salad recipe or toss together cooked macaroni noodles and vegan mayo with a pinch of shredded carrots, minced onion, and relish, to taste.
  • To drink, you can’t go wrong with pure coconut water, or go all-out with a cherimoya lava flow.
    For a proper luau, you can go all-out and serve an abundant spread of other Hawaiian staples, such as poke, chicken long rice, and lomi lomi. Don’t forget the mochi brownies for dessert!

FAQs

Q: Can I make this vegan kalua pork recipe oil-free?
A: While the oil contributes critical richness to mimic the naturally fatty pork and is very strongly recommended, you can omit it if necessary. Simply cook the shredded mushrooms with the marinade until all the liquid has been absorbed.

Q: How can I add more protein?
A: Believe it or not, Sugimoto Shiitake actually do contain protein, to the tune of 1 gram per serving, or 14 grams per package. If you’d still like to add more to your meal, consider incorporating up to one cup of shredded seitan or soy curls.

Get a taste of the Hawaiian islands from the comfort of your own home any day of the week. Create an incredible depth of savory flavor with minimal ingredients and just minutes on the clock. You’ll want to save this recipe as your new all-purpose entree for parties, weeknight dinners, or midnight munchies.

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Pride

Pride Month is, or at least should be, about more than just rainbows and parades.

Reduced down to its most basic elements to be more palatable to the mainstream, so much is lost in translation. It should be about celebrating alternative sexual identities, yet fails to be truly inclusive. Some people still call it “Gay Pride Month” which does a genuine disservice to the larger queer community. Strides have been made to recognize greater nuance beyond the swath of hetero-normative values that dominated western society for all of recorded history, so why does it still feel like such a fight? Why is it still so hard to be heard? Why is it still so hard to be seen?

Do my words not matter? Are my colors not bright enough?

Purple, White, Grey, and Black Macarons

I’m asexual. Should I even say that out loud? I was always told to leave it unsaid, let people guess or come to their own conclusions. It doesn’t matter. No one needs to know if I am or am not having sex.

It’s true, but also incredibly shortsighted.

It isn’t even about me anymore. It’s about standing up and modeling the representation that I never saw when I needed it most. Asexual people are out there, being successful, living full lives, but remaining largely invisible. I didn’t even know that it was a thing until I was in my 30s. I thought I was just… Nothing. Or broken. Or wrong.

A label doesn’t change anything, but it does help things make sense. In a society that sexualizes everything, would it be so terrible to talk about something that runs in the opposite direction?

Asexual people are queer people. More importantly, asexual people are people. Let’s make this the new normal.

Good Luck Potluck

Potlucks, both big and small, have the power to bring people together like nothing else. These communal feasts allow a true fusion of cultures, uniting culinary traditions to create a symphony of flavor on every plate. Unlike your average hosted dinner party or brunch gathering, it’s not just about the individual’s dining experience, but celebrating the full collective of flavors found within the community at large.

Beyond the food itself, potlucks allow an intangible magic to develop, fostering bonds and deepening relationships. These gatherings are not confined to rigid social structures or the formality of restaurant dining. Rather, they offer an intimate setting where the boundaries between host and guest blur into insignificance. It is within this egalitarian ambiance that strangers become friends, and acquaintances transform into confidants, all while savoring the fruits of their collective labor.

With that in mind, there are no wrong answers for the perennial question: What should I bring to a potluck? From the zesty chili that sets the palate ablaze to the velvety chocolate cake that seduces the sweet tooth, each dish tells a story, far more personal and revealing than a casual conversation. If you’re stumped, though, I do have a few foolproof suggestions.

What Makes a Good Potluck Dish?

To narrow down the options, my criteria for what goes on this list is more pragmatic than visionary. It’s always best to select a dish that:

  • Serves many, ideally 8 – 10 at minimum, or can be scaled up accordingly
  • Travels well, no matter the distance
  • Can sit at room temperature or is easy to reheat with minimal fuss
  • Quick and easy to prepare, because no one wants to spend any party stuck in the kitchen
  • Isn’t terribly messy to serve or eat

From snacks to desserts, here’s my cheat sheet for serving any group with style.

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