Category: Crochet

I’ve discovered quite a peculiar automatic response to the words “I don’t know what to make next,” especially when these words are coming from my mouth. Without missing a beat, the person sitting next to me will say something like “Oh, I would just love to have a ____!” Or, “Have you made a ____ yet? Come on, ____s are the best ever!” I’m really asking for trouble, because I have a lot of difficulty refusing requests. Atleast I don’t stay bored for too long; idle hands make me go crazy, except for when I’m sleeping, because then I’m unconscious and don’t care too much. So either I always need a steady line-up of potential projects, or someone needs to beat me senseless so I can’t think straight enough to know that I’m not in the process of crafting at that very moment.

After about 5 minutes of quiet, having just woven in the ends of my last amigurumi, I was beginning to squirm around, picking over different patterns and seeking out what might satisfy the itch. Luckily, it didn’t take long for a friend to put out a number of suggestions: A dragonfly? Meh, not much too it… A zebra? Yikes, with stripes like that?

Okay, so I can be pretty damn picky, which is not a good thing when my sanity depends on constantly choosing new projects.

Finally, the idea of an elephant came up. I set off to look for a decent pattern, and came up from one published by Better Homes and Gardens. It was specified as a “circus elephant,” but I really don’t support the mistreatment of animals by circuses, so I left out the ugly garb in primary colors.

After forcing the last 50 square feet or so of stuffing into his body, he wasted no time and headed straight for the kitchen. We don’t have any plain peanuts here, but someone had left out the jar of peanut butter on the table, which he quickly sniffed out and held hostage. Fearing the ensuing sticky mess after he had finished the finished coating his body and the entire room in peanut butter, I tried to wrestle the container away with haste. There are few things worse than trying to clean up splattered peanut butter.

Searching the cabinets briefly, I came up with a small quantity of sliced almonds. Not exactly the same, but nuts nonetheless, and far less messy to be sure. My eli-friend tested them out cautiously, unsure as to what to think of this new treat. A few tentative bites later, and he was chomping them down by the trunkful. I’m lucky that he was willing to compromise, considering the amount of yarn and stuffing that went into making him; I wouldn’t be surprised if he was able to mow me down with such heft!

You’d think that by now I’d have made dog amigurumis in ever color of the rainbow, every breed and mix and mutt imaginable, but no! I found another canine to create, although this one isn’t a specific breed that I can descern. Not that I mind – It could be a pile of poo, and as long as it’s cute, it will find a place in my heart and time on my hook.

Getting back to the pup at hand, I discovered this free pattern a handful of days ago via Kat Crochet. There are a number of other cute animals to be found here, and I believe these are all (Or atleast mostly) patterns translated from Japanese to English. While I would prefer the diagrams that Japanese instructions so frequently utilize, I can still work my way around the written directions that were so thoughtfully provided.

The .pdf file includes templates for a number of other cute accessories that can be made of felt; Sweet little slippers, a bone… I just went with the little bib, because I wouldn’t want my poor guy to face the blog world completely naked, afterall. The felt pieces are supposed to be hand sewn, I assume, but I just find this practice so tedious and ineffective – The piece either falls appart,or the stitches look horrendous – That I just find it a lot easier to pull out my fabric glue and smear a couple globs across.

Once fully assembled and clothed, my mutt whined incessantly about his desire to run free through the wild. Unfortunately, being currently situated in a cement-choked city, the closest I could come was the little planter on the balcony. I’m not sure that this fully satisfied his beastly instincts, but he still was able to appreciate the fresh air. This one’s not really the outdoors-y type, either, much prefering to curl up on the sofa, warm beneath his felt bib. He’s just a softie, anyways.

…Now, if I could find a pattern for that crocheted poo…

The opinion about smaller dogs seems to be clearly divided into two groups of thought; Either people find thing adorable and treat them like tiny little dolls [Which is about where I fall on the scale], or people hate them, spewing those careless, off-hand comments about how one irritated masochist or something just wants to kick little yappy dogs. I’m sure you’ve all heard this statement thrown around atleast once before. What would ever make people feel like this? To start with, anyone who feels so much animosity towards the smallest of all canines have some truly damaged psyche. But really, I can’t get enough of dogs that fit into the palm of your hand, or are small enough to be classified as “teacup” anything.

Going beyond teacup, I think I can do you one better. Maybe it should be call a “shot-glass” breed? “Espresso cup”? This is starting to sound stupid, but I’m pretty sure my version is a good deal smaller than a teacup breed.

Friendly and excitable as anything, my new companion could be one of the smallest dog I ever encounter. He’s less than 3 inches tall, but my, does he have a big personality! Curious like a cat, he finds a way to get into everything. I turn my back for one minute to grab my camera, and I find him peeking out of the garbage bin with a guilty look on his face. With those sad puppy eyes though, I think he could talk his way out of any situation. How could you ever punish something so cute! It’s just his inquizitive nature, I’m sure he didn’t mean to spill trash all over the floor, pee on the carpets, eat my sock…

Okay, I can understand how a creature of such high energy could wear on some people. It takes patience and dedication to keep them happy, and above all else, prevent them from destroying every fragile item in the house.

He can certainly be a troublemaker, a downright demon! But even after all his acts of indesgression, all he really wants at the end of the day is a hug.

How could you stay mad at that?

It’s becoming harder and harder to escape the facts at this point: These summer days are fading fast, being swept away by the cool winds of autumn. While I know that this is a disappointment to many beach-going, sun-loving people, I think that a lot of the joy of summer comes from the mindset it accomanies. Those endless days of vacation, freedom, the lack of stress or demanding work… Perhaps this feeling doesn’t have to dissolve as the calander pages continue to drop. That’s where my latest project comes in; to remind myself and others that autumn and winter don’t have to be gloomy and gray – Just add a splash of summer colors!

So before this season is too far gone to recover, I decided to make one last stab at something bright, cheerful, and summery. The design is much louder than your usual pot holder, which is why I think it would be best to bring out in those bright, sunny days, it could by all means be used at any time.

I’m not really sure what prompted me to creat pot holders that look like orange slices, but it most likely had a lot to do with all that left over orange and white yarn I still had [Be sure to use cotton so it doesn’t burn!] The pattern is extremely simple, so the real fun comes with the added detail after you finish the basic shape. Colder weather may be on its way, but adding a little bit of warmth to your kitchen is no problem with this citrus-y addition.

Using an F hook and orange yarn,

Sc 6 into a circle

2 sc into each stitch (12)

2 sc into 1 st, sc 1 (18)

2 sc into 1 st, sc 2 (24)

2 sc into 1 st, sc 3 (30)

2 sc into 1 st, sc 4 (36)

2 sc into 1 st, sc 5 (42)

2 sc into 1 st, sc 6 (48)

2 sc into 1 st, sc 7 (54)

2 sc into 1 st, sc 8 (60)

2 sc into 1 st, sc 9 (66)

2 sc into 1 st, sc 10 (72)

2 sc into 1 st, sc 11 (78)

2 sc into 1 st, sc 12 (84)

2 sc into 1 st, sc 13 (90)

Switch to white: 2 sc into 1 st, sc 14 (96)
Ch 10 (or however many you want for the length of the hanging-loop) and sl st into the first stitch.

Crochet in straight lines across the whole length of the circle, dividing it into 6 slices.

Embroider seeds near the center.

For added insulation, cut out matching circles of ironing board fabric and sew to the back side of the pot holder. If you would rather just have them as decorative pieces, feel free to leave this step out.

If only I had thought of this fun project earlier into the summer…! But now maybe the season can last just a little bit longer, atleast in spirit.

I’m sure that years from now, this will be one of those projects you look back on and wonder, “What the HELL was thinking when I made this?!” I even debated posting it here for fear of being reported to the brutally honest but hilarious bloggers at What Not to Crochet.

First of, no, I did not write this pattern so I am not solely at fault for this abomination. I’m sure the writers had the best intentions in mind as well, and perhaps it wouldn’t have morphed into the embarrassment that it became had a chose a more agreeable color scheme. While I wish it were that easy, in a way, it really wasn’t a choice. It was to be a gift for my aunt who recently painted her new kitchen “pumpkin orange.” So maybe she should be the one to blame here. I did think that the shade of orange yarn was a bit off even without having seen its intended home, my mother assures me that it will go perfectly. Or maybe not perfectly, something to that effect. At the very least not offensively?

Didn’t get a good look of them there? Yeah, that’s kind of the point. Oh, and you thought they were supposed to be pot holders based on the name of the pattern and all? Me too, until I got half way though the beginning and realized the meaning of “accent” pot holders. Defined more accurately as “useless” pot holders. Considerate niece am I, who gives her loving aunt a pair of pot holders filled with holes, just waiting for someone fool enough to try and pick up something actually hot with them. Who’d have imagined that’s what those were for!

Feeling justly like a moron, I still refused to back down, now that all this yarn had been paid for and they were already well on their to becoming finished… Pot holders? No, I’m sorry, that won’t work unless I’m trying to encourage third degree burn and simultaneously discourage home cooking.

And that is how they magically became trivets. Trivets have the easy life anyways; They don’t need to be very structurally sound, only need to prevent counters and other inanimate objects from getting overheated, and best of all (Especially for this pair) they are always the landing zones for pots, allowing much less face time in public.

Okay, just because I know you’re all so morbidly curious to see these like a crowd drawn to a car crash, here’s a clearer picture (But don’t say I didn’t warn you.)

This is one gift I’ll be more than happy to send off and never see again. I fully expect to find them in the attic some day, many years from now, and wonder what on earth posessed me to create such a thing.

Well, word must have gotten out that I’ve been harboring a mouse in my home, because the other day this cat just showed up at my door, harboring a hungry look in its eyes. I let him in, not wanting the poor creature to starve, but it immediately stalking around, searching for its prey.

Sensing the immediate danger that my helpless blue friend might be in, I quickly sequestered him to his own room, and returned to offer my new resident a big bowl of soymilk. I knew that this wouldn’t satisfy his killer instinct, but I hoped that it would atleast temporarily quell the primal urge.

I would never kick either out, but friends do not eat friends, so I can not allow this cat to get a taste of my defenseless mouse. Maybe in time I can introduce each other in a more peaceful manner, but for the time being I think my best choice is to keep them separated until my new kitty learns it doesn’t need to kill for his food. I just hope it all works out…!

Still, he spends both his days and night very alert, sensing that his desired meal is near…

I don’t think they will be ready to meet each other very soon.