Short and Stout

As the single most widely consumed alcoholic beverage in the world, I know I’m part of the minority when I say I’m not a big fan of beer. The oldest known recipe for beer is over 4,000 years old, discovered in ancient Mesopotamia, so clearly there’s more to it that I must be missing. Forever curious, sometimes to my own detriment, I’ll always eagerly try a new brew. For such an immense, diverse category of drinks, it would be criminal to write them all off for a single polarizing flavor, after all.

Anyone else in the same boat would be advised not to attempt a heavy, highly-hopped stout. When offered a novel, local brew, the promise of coffee and oatmeal drew me in, but make no mistake: This is no breakfast treat. Acrid, cloying, and bitter, I could barely get down two sips before calling it quits.

Though perhaps unintentionally, this particular coffee oatmeal stout did provide ample inspiration after the initial brutal tasting. Taking notes from the basic components, it became a hearty base for an equally intense, yet far less polarizing, quick bread.

Both intoxicating and energizing, you get a serious dose of caffeine from concentrated cold brew coffee, amplifying the flavor from the beer. Whole oats boost the cereal taste from the brewing process, while date syrup and coconut sugar harmonize with a caramelized sweetness, taking the edge off the harsher flavors that otherwise bubble up.

Key Ingredients and Substitutions

  • Flour: I used a combination of whole wheat and all-purpose flour to incorporate a more earthy, wholesome flavor that pairs well with the heft and intensity of the beer. If you want a lighter crumb and higher rise, you can omit the whole wheat and use twice as much all-purpose instead.
    • For a gluten-free option, use your favorite gluten-free flour blend and replace the stout with a comparable wheat-free dark beer.
  • Cold Brew Coffee Concentrate: This is a staple for me during the hotter months (AKA, 10 out of 12 in Texas) so I always have a bottle on hand. In a pinch, you could replace this with regular coffee brewed at 4x strength, or 4 teaspoons of instant coffee powder dissolved into 1/2 cup of water.
  • Pumpkin Pie Spice Blend: This was an inclusion of pure laziness. If you don’t have a ready-made mix in the pantry, you could omit the spices altogether, or use a combination of cinnamon, ginger, and cloves.
  • Date Syrup: Moderately sweet, tempered by a subtly bitter caramel-like bite, date syrup is one of my current favorite sweeteners. You could replace it with standard molasses if desired, but expect a darker end result.
  • Coconut Sugar: Same sentiment here; an equal amount of dark brown sugar can suffice.

Did you know that in ancient Egypt, beer was considered a sacred beverage and was often used as payment for laborers? I’d like to think that this Coffee Oatmeal Stout Bread would be worth its weight in gold. Even if you don’t like beer, this easy recipe will give you a good reason to keep a 6-pack on hand.

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Jacked Up On Jackfruit

With the rise of plant-based alternatives comes a wealth of inspiration- And misinformation. Jackfruit has been embraced as the meat of the jungle, fulfilling that role with varying degrees of success. For every incredible pulled “pork” sandwich, there’s another platter of stringy, unidentifiable BBQ going untouched at the neighborhood cookout. If you don’t know jack about jackfruit, you’re not alone.

How To Buy Jackfruit

For the sake of savory recipes, you want to by young green (unripe) jackfruit, canned and packed in brine, not in syrup and not fresh. Fresh jackfruit is indeed sweet, as the name would imply, often enjoyed in smoothies, ice cream, pudding, and other desserts. The texture is also smooth and almost bouncy, somewhat like lychees. While delicious, this isn’t the best way to replicate a meaty experience, to say nothing of the difficulty prepping a whole jackfruit, which can weigh up to 100 pounds.

Immature jackfruit is now sometimes packaged in pouches too, sometimes sold refrigerated or alongside shelf stable meat substitutes. Aside from having less liquid, the differences are immaterial.

How To Cook With Jackfruit

Most cooks go wrong right in the beginning. Some brands have jackfruit that’s already broken down to a texture that’s “usable” right out of the package, but that doesn’t mean you should. More often than not, it’s still very tough, tinged with the residual taste of the metal can.

  1. For the best experience with jackfruit, take it to the stove first. After thoroughly draining the brine, add fresh water to cover and bring it to a boil. If it’s already fairly tender, you can then immediately drain and get to work. For tougher chunks of jackfruit (as seen above), give it up to 20 minutes, until it falls apart readily when prodded.
  2. Flavor your water to infuse the jackfruit with a meatier taste right off the bat. Add a cube of vegan bouillon flavored like chicken, beef, or pork, depending on your desired output. For general umami, mushroom stock and/or shiitake powder is always a solid choice.
  3. Use a potato masher for the best shredded texture. No one wants a big chunk of miscellaneous gristle in their meat; consider the same rule for plant-based products. If it’s not soft enough to mash, it’s not cooked enough to use.

Jackfruit Is Only As Flavorful As Its Sauce

Like tofu, young jackfruit is downright bland until you season it. That’s why you need to go heavy on your spices and sauces, but don’t rely on packaged solutions alone. The biggest problem I find with most pulled pork facsimiles is the cooks use prepared BBQ sauce right out of the bottle and call it a day. Add smoke, add fresh garlic, add a bit of fat, please! Put it back over the fire to give it more nuanced texture, crisping the edges for a chewier bite. You can saute it, air fry it, bake it, roast it, grill it; anything! Don’t just pretend like it’s a complete gourmet meal without putting in some work.

Jackfruit Nutrition Notes

Here’s the rub: jackfruit is not a great source of protein. Don’t call it an “alternative protein” because it’s simply not an accurate assessment. You’d get more protein eating raw broccoli. Jackfruit does have plenty of nutritional benefits to offer, though!

  • Good source of potassium and Vitamin C. Feed your skin and bones with these key “beauty” vitamins.
  • Cholesterol-free. An automatic advantage of swapping animal products for plants is instantly cutting cholesterol out of the picture. For anyone worried about heart health, this is one easy step that can make a big difference.
  • Good source of fiber. Stay regular! Don’t forget that a healthy digestive system (AKA your microbiome) also contributes to a healthy immune system too.

Jackfruit does have an impressive amount of protein compared to many other fruits, like apples and mangoes, but it shouldn’t be considered the place to get your gains. Add other protein sources to your meal, such as tofu, beans, nuts, and seeds for a healthy balance.

What Should You Make With Jackfruit Next?

There’s no shortage of inspiration for jackfruit recipes spanning all cultures and cuisines. Today, I’d like to present a very simple introduction to the meatless beast, treating it like chicken salad, but taking away the sometimes divisive mayonnaise component.

Tossing the savory shreds instead with a light dressing of olive oil and fresh herbs, it’s a bright and simple lunchtime staple. The crisp crunch of celery adds textural contrast that holds up well over time, even when prepped ahead and stashed in a lunchbox to eat on the go. Best of all, without the overbearing creaminess of conventional chicken salad, you’re free to top it with gooey dairy-free cheese and make an excellent chicken salad melt. Crisp toasted bread holds the whole assembly together in an unfussy, unpretentious package that everyone can get behind.

Jackfruit isn’t so scary when you break down the basics. Here’s an easy way to master the art of jackfruit cookery without fail.

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Crab Walk To A Better Crab Cake

When the person you’re dating casually mentions that they like crab cakes, you find a way to make crab cakes.

Look, I don’t make the rules here, that’s just how it goes. Said person could have expressed an attraction to fugu or turducken, for all you know, so there’s no reason why such a simple desire can’t be indulged.

Making Vegan Crab Cakes

Crab has a fairly mild flavor, subtly sweet and oceanic, often compared to lobster, without the oily fishy flavor that smaller sea creatures are known for. Replicating this experience in a convincing way requires taking this unique taste and tender, shredded texture into account.

  • Most plant based crab cake recipes feature jackfruit, the hottest tropical fruit to hit American dining room tables. Though I’ve previously used an unconventional combination of glass noodles and tofu to replicate that shredded, chewy texture, I wanted to tap a lesser known import for this version: banana blossoms. They’re very similar in the eating experience of brined young jackfruit packed in cans, but have a softer bite and slightly more natural taste. Banana blossoms can be found fresh in the produce section of more robust Asian markets, canned alongside the jackfruit, or frozen, nearby the other veggies and edamame in the freezer aisle. I used frozen which comes finely shredded and simply needs to be thawed. If you’re starting with larger pieces, you’ll want to thinly julienne them with a sharp knife, or pulse them a few times in your food processor.
  • Nothing says “ship shape” like a pinch of dried wakame. It rehydrates about 3 to 4 times in volume, so I like to crush it roughly to better distribute the flakes.
  • Panko breadcrumbs act as a binder and textural enhancement; contrary to antiquated approaches, it’s NOT a filler and is key for overall enjoyment. You can find gluten-free versions if needed, but don’t swap in standard Italian breadcrumbs, which will make the crab cakes too dense and heavy.

Serving Suggestions

Crab cakes don’t need to get dressed up to go out; they always look fabulous, even without makeup on.

  • Pass around a platter of crab cakes as a standalone snack or appetizer, perhaps with tartar sauce or sriracha mayo for dipping, and call it a night.
  • Craft a complete meal around them, making them the star of the show. A voluminous arugula or spinach salad is a great way to get your greens without distracting from the headliners. On cold nights, saute, stir fry, or even cream those greens to serve the whole thing hot. For a different take on scampi or alfredo, crown your pile of garlicky noodles with crisp crab cakes, rather than more shrimpy fare.
  • Leftovers make stunningly great sandwich fodder. They’re a bit fragile so they tend to fall apart when reheated. Don’t sweat it! Embrace the unraveling and add an extra dollop of vegan mayo to make an incredible crab salad. Slap it between two slices of bread with tomatoes, onions, lettuce, and anything else you like. Eat as is or brush with melted vegan butter and toast the whole thing.

Crab Cakes are an easy request to fulfill. Say you’re making them as a favor, but it’s okay to want them for yourself, too.

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Queso The Mondays

The longer I live in Texas, the more recipes I’ll have for queso. A party doesn’t start without liquid cheese on the table, and who says you can only have one?

Though chili is the official state dish of Texas, I think queso should have its own distinction as the state’s official dip. While we’re on the subject, pecan trees are the official trees of Texas and naturally, pecans the official nut. While cashews are the standard base for vegan queso, there’s no reason why we can’t take a more Texan approach to this savory staple.

What Makes This The Best Vegan Queso Recipe

Buttery, subtly sweet, and robustly nutty, pecans add a whole new level of decadence to everyone’s favorite Tex-Mex appetizer. Creamy and thick enough to generously coat chips, it’s rich enough to satisfy any craving. Plus, it’s ready in mere minutes, so you can always have queso on hand for gatherings big or small.

Uses For Plant-Based Queso

Naturally, queso was made for dipping tortilla chips, but that’s just the start. Save some for breakfast, lunch, or dinner in all sorts of other dishes.

  • Drizzled over tacos
  • Mixed into tofu scramble
  • Stuffed into burritos
  • Used as filling for quesadillas
  • Tossed with pasta

Forget processed dairy products. There’s a whole world of queso with bolder flavor and better nutrition, and I promise, it’s not a tough nut to crack.

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Guac The Next Happy Hour With Avocado Margaritas

When avocados and tequila meet, something magical happens. This could be the start of a spiked salad or salsa, but the fusion I’m thinking of manifests as a frozen margarita, perfect for taking the edge off on a hot summer day. We’ve already seen that avocados can do amazing things with iced coffee, so why not take it to the bar and give it a shot?

A Brief History of Avocado Margaritas

Legend has it that Curra’s Grill in Austin, TX was the first to blend the savory green fruit into a sweet and sour margarita mix. As the story goes, it came about as a dare, but the results were no joke. Many customers undoubtedly order it for similar reasons, only to become hooked on the uniquely refreshing experience. Accented with a pinch of cilantro, tequila cuts through the buttery richness of the avocado with a fresh finish.

Not one to miss a trend, Epcot’s own avocado margarita has been incredibly popular since it hit the menu at La Cava del Tequila. The “happiest place on earth” takes a sweeter approach to appeal to the masses, adding melon liqueur to boost the bright green hue and ripe, fruity flavor all at once. The glass is rimmed with lurid pink hibiscus salt, amplifying the floral notes and of course, adding an eye-catching color contrast that you can’t miss from across the bar.

Key Differences in My Avocado Margarita Recipe

While I’m not trying to re-invent the wheel here, I do think there are a few tweaks that could make the modern classic even better.

  • Swap the polarizing cilantro addition for spicy jalapeño. While strictly optional, it’s highly recommended for a little kick at the end of each sip, balancing out the creamy richness of the avocado.
  • Use fresh citrus juices instead of prepared margarita mix or more flavored liqueurs. Prepared blends are never particularly fresh or natural tasting, and almost always cloyingly sweet. Personally, I’d rather taste the tequila than cover it up, especially if I’m paying for a top shelf bottle.
  • Use flaky sea salt rather than kosher salt for the rim. It dissolves more easily for a gentler saline hit, rather than a blast of salt from chunky granules.
  • Forgo the added sugar or agave. I’d much prefer to lean in on the savory flavors of the avocado here rather than turn the mix into a boozy milkshake.

The Best Tequila For Making an Avocado Margarita

Any type of tequila will make a fine margarita. For the best blend though, I would recommend:

  1. Reposado, for its subtle sweetness, is my top pick to round out this blend with a smooth finish.
  2. Blanco, with more vegetal notes, would be great with a spicier take using the optional jalapeno.

Avocados simply make everything better. From breakfast toast to a happy hour toast, these alligator pears will always serve you well.

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Ballad for Balaleet

Equal parts sweet and salty, balaleet (بلاليط) is the greatest breakfast you’ve never heard of. Toasted vermicelli is enriched with butter and perfumed by aromatic rosewater, saffron, and cardamom, creating an indescribable taste sensation. It’s both delicate and bold, hearty but decadent, deceptively simple on paper with wildly complex flavor harmonies. Top that all off with a tender omelette and you can start to understand why it’s a signature dish of Emirati cuisine.

As it’s sweetened with sugar, sometimes with a heavy hand, balaleet can be served cold for dessert, too. Think of it like rice porridge / rice pudding; versatile and endlessly adaptable based on personal preferences. My take leans more savory than most, balanced out by my not-so-secret ingredient: Sugimoto shiitake powder.

Key Ingredients and Substitutions

There are no rules for making excellent balaleet, only recommendations. Experiment to create the version you enjoy best.

  • Spaghetti: I used regular spaghetti for the sake of convenience, but you could swap in any long noodle, like angel hair or linguine, and make it gluten-free if needed.
  • Vegan butter and olive oil: Let’s not kid ourselves: The generous measure of plant-based fats are a large factor in making this dish so crave-worthy. If you need to eat oil-free, though, you can try going without. Toast the noodles in a dry skillet before proceeding with the recipe, and make sure you use a non-stick skillet for the omelette.
  • Rosewater: Try orange flower water instead if that’s more readily available. In a pinch, a tiny splash of vanilla extract and lemon juice can fit the bill.
  • Saffron: Real saffron is a splurge, no doubt about it. Save your money by using a pinch of ground turmeric instead.
  • Sugar: Some recipes can have upwards of 1/2 cup of granulated sugar per serving! I prefer much less, but you can always add more to taste. To make this recipe sugar-free, add a few drops of liquid stevia, as needed.
  • Sugimoto shiitake powder: While there’s no replicating that deep umami flavor, absent of any overtly mushroom-y taste, you can make do by swapping the plain water with shiitake mushroom soaking water instead.
  • Chickpea flour: The key to making a tender, fluffy plant-based omelette, chickpea flour is an essential staple that should always be on hand. That said, if you’d prefer a simpler approach, you could skip the homemade omelette altogether and heat up a JUST folded egg.

Another Note About Noodles

Skip right to the good stuff and start with fideos to make this recipe even easier. I like the more random lengths created by breaking up full strands, plus it’s just fun to break things.

  1. Place your long noodles in a strong zip-top bag. Don’t use a flimsy plastic shopping bag because it will surely tear and make a mess in the process.
  2. Press the air out of the bag and make sure it’s sealed.
  3. Either use your hands to pick up and crack the noodles at random, or smack it gently with a rolling pin, until the pieces are all roughly 1 – 2 inches in length.

Traditionally, the noodles aren’t toasted, but I love the color, extra nutty flavor, and toothsome texture this creates. You’re welcome to skip this step if you’re in a rush.

How To Serve Balaleet

Forget cold cereal flakes; given the balance of fiber and protein, balaleet is the true breakfast of champions. As such, it’s a complete meal on its own. My only suggestions would be for drink pairings, such as:

  • Chai tea
  • Strong coffee
  • Fresh squeezed orange juice

For added heft, you could also incorporate or serve on the side:

  • Whole chickpeas
  • Sauteed or caramelized onions
  • Hash browns or home fries

If you haven’t yet tried balaleet, you’re missing out. If you have, I’d implore you to give it another go with shiitake powder as an all-purpose flavor booster. Seamlessly amplifying both sweet and savory notes, you may be surprised by what a big difference this small addition can make.

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