No Bones About It

Iconic as it is deeply flawed, the imagery of a dog gnawing away at a huge, meaty bone is one embedded in our cultural fabric, a remnant of misguided early training practices. Our tiny beasts are carnivores at heart, some argue, irresistibly drawn to the taste of meat, who love nothing more than savoring our scraps while getting a good dental workout at the same time. Without picking apart the umpteen faults in that shaky logic, the irrefutable truth is that bones are dangerous for dogs big and small, young and old. Brittle and easily snapped into pointed shards, those sharp pieces can result in choking, digestive blockages, cuts around the gums and throat, vomiting, and in the worst cases, yes, those symptoms can be compounded, and that innocent treat can become fatal.

Vegan or not, bones have no place on the menu for humans, so why should they suffice for our canine companions? Countless alternatives exist for safer, softer options, including those made from scraps of a different sort. Polishing off a few yards of leftover remnant yarn, this quick knit bone was a satisfying project for both human and animal participants.

A prodigious chewer with especially pointed little teeth, I thought for sure my monster baby would tear right through my handiwork in less time than it took to complete, but I’m happily surprised by its longevity thus far. Content to teethe rather than shred, Luka seems to savor this new toy with a sense of appreciation. It’s only a matter of time before the plush facsimile lies in ruin, no doubt, but that can easily be replaced; the pup himself most certainly cannot.

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Sending Home the Bacon

What do you get for the man who has everything? More importantly, what do you make for the man who isn’t particularly thrilled by birthday cake, lives on the opposite side of the country, and would never so much as drop a hint about any particular wants or needs? This is the conundrum I face every time my dad’s birthday rolls around. Proving that the ones who give the most are terrible at accepting the same kindness, he’s notoriously impossible to shop for, even when it comes to the most basic necessities. Appreciative of the gesture, he will always accept the typical gifts of shirts, books, and ties with grace, but really, you shouldn’t have. Really.

The only thing I know for sure is that my dad loves music, obscure movies, and ever-so-slightly burnt popcorn to enjoy with both. I have strong memories of working diligently upstairs in my room, only to smell the distinct aroma of toasted, vaguely blackened kernels wafting through the air, and I’d know it was time to take a break. That meant it was 9:00, our designated TV hour, which always came with a heaping handful of his homemade snack mix. Crowning this simple blend was a generous shake of bacon salt, the curiously vegetarian seasoning with a smoky, savory edge. It was a comforting routine, and one that I still miss almost three years since moving out.

If I can’t be there to share the flicks and snacks in person, then I had to find a way to send an edible understudy.

Vegans are making everything into bacon these days, from eggplant to coconut, but my unique blend goes back to a classic mixture of meaty tempeh and deeply umami mushrooms. It’s a simple yet remarkably satisfying seasoning that adds an extra punch to any dish, not just freshly popped corn. Think french fries, avocado toast, veggie burgers, roasted Brussels sprouts, corn on the cob, bar nuts, and so much more. It could quickly become the new savory staple that you suddenly can’t live without, even if you’ve never tasted the “real” thing.

Birthdays come and go, but the opportunity to treat loved ones to a special delicacy is fleeting. This successful, universally appealing formula may just be an ideal gift for equally discerning recipients in your life, too.

Bacon Salt

3 Tablespoons Soy Sauce
1 Tablespoon Liquid Smoke
1 Tablespoon Maple Syrup
1 Tablespoon Olive Oil
1 Tablespoon Nutritional Yeast
1/4 Teaspoon Smoked Paprika
1/8 Teaspoon Ground Black Pepper
1 8-Ounce Package Tempeh
1/2 Cup Sliced Cremini Mushrooms
1/4 Cup Dried, Sliced Shiitake Mushrooms
1/4 Cup Coarse Sea Salt

Preheat your oven to 300 degrees and set aside an 8 x 8-inch baking pan.

Stir together the soy sauce, liquid smoke, maple syrup, oil, nutritional yeast, paprika, and pepper in a large mixing bowl. Crumble the tempeh as finely as possible and toss it in, along with the mushrooms. Mix thoroughly, coating the pieces.

Pour everything, including the excess marinade into your waiting pan. Bake for 2 1/2 – 3 hours, stirring every 15 – 25 minutes or so to keep the entire batch cooking evenly and preventing it from burning. The edges can go from soft to scorched surprisingly quickly, so standby and keep a close eye on it the entire time it’s in the oven.

Cook until brown all over, dry to the touch, and highly aromatic. Be aware that your kitchen may smell like bacon for the rest of the day, but I would hardly consider that a problem.

Let cool completely before transferring to your blender or food processor along with the salt. Pulse until the pieces are completely broken down. Strain through a fine mesh sieve if you would like a particularly even grind and re-blend any remaining large pieces. Store at room temperature in an airtight container.

Makes About 1 Cup

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Cake of a Different Color

Sneaking vegetables into desserts has long been a practice of conniving parents, trying to feed their children a daily dose of greens by any means necessary. “Cauliflower cake” sounds like yet another attempt at disguising the trendy brassica as a sweet treat, smothered in chocolate or coated in sprinkles, perhaps, but it’s actually a delight for the dinner table.

Inspired by a recipe from Plenty More by Yotam Ottolenghi, what this mad genius calls a cake could really qualify as a highly vegetative frittata. Heavy on cheese and savory fresh herbs, such a universally appealing combination could make even the pickiest eaters open up and ask for seconds. My interpretation of the concept is a radical departure from the original, however, utilizing a green pea-based batter to replace the eggs, continuing the color scheme with green cauliflower, and punching up the flavor with a more spring-y punch of dill.

The tantalizing taste of this unconventional entree is matched only by its versatility. Need a make-ahead breakfast? Prepare it the day before and you can have it on the table first thing in the morning. Casual lunch, or fancy brunch for a crowd? Serve slices with a leafy green salad and plenty of mimosas on the side. Romantic dinner for two? Bake single servings in ramekins to really impress your date. Leftovers are just as satisfying if eaten cold- If you have any, that is.

Green Cauliflower Cake

5 Tablespoons Olive Oil, Divided
1 Medium Yellow Onion, Diced
2 Clove Garlic, Minced
1 Pound Green Cauliflower, Finely Chopped
1/2 Cup Fresh Dill, Chopped
1 3/4 Cup Green Pea Flour
1 Teaspoon Baking Powder
1/2 Teaspoon Kala Namak or Plain Salt
1/4 Teaspoon Ground Black Pepper
1 (7-Ounce) Package Follow Your Heart Garden Herb Cheese or Any Mozzarella-Style Vegan Block Cheese, Finely Diced
2 1/2 Cups Vegetable Broth
1 Tablespoon Wholegrain Mustard
Fresh Parsley, Minced (Optional)

Preheat your oven to 350 degrees and lightly grease an 8-inch springform pan.

Place 2 tablespoons of the oil in a medium skillet and set over medium heat. Add in the onion and sauté until softened and aromatic. Add the garlic and cauliflower next, cooking until very lightly browned. Turn off the heat and let the vegetables cool for about 10 minutes.

Meanwhile, combine the dill, green pea flour, baking powder, kala namak, and black pepper, stirring well to evenly distribute all of the ingredients. Toss in the cubes of cheese, ensuring that they’re thoroughly coated in the dry mixture to make sure that they stay suspended in the cake, rather than just sink to the bottom. Add in the cooked vegetables next, tossing in the same fashion. Whisk together the broth, mustard, and remaining olive oil before pouring the liquid mixture into the bowl, stirring well to incorporate.

Transfer to your prepared springform pan, smoothing out the top and tapping it lightly on the counter to release any air bubbles. Place the pan in the center of the oven and bake for 45 – 50 minutes, until lightly golden brown on top. Let rest for at least 20 minutes before serving; it’s best enjoyed warm or at room temperature, rather than hot.

Slice and garnish with fresh parsley, if desired.

Makes 8 – 10 Servings

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Pot of Gold

Tell the truth: How many times have you purchased a new product based largely on the container it came in? There’s no judgement here since it’s a marketing ploy I’ve fallen prey to more often than any reasonable shopper should, and I have shelves full of various empty jars to prove it. Insidious yet obviously effective, product packaging is a considerable factor for success in businesses both big and small. It conveys quality, makes a brand memorable, bolsters its presence on the shelf by setting it apart from the pack. For many years, that’s precisely why I knew about Petit Pot, enviously eyeing those shapely glass bottles stacked high in refrigerated cases. I know, you should never judge a book by its cover, but I had nothing else to go on since all of the luxuriously decadent contents were all dairy-based. Until now.

In a radical departure from the original line of French pot de creme offerings, the brand new Riz au Lait Coco is their very first non-dairy and fully vegan treat on offer.

Loosely set, erring much more on the side of a lightly thickened sauce than rich custard, this very quality lends it a deceptively light texture on the palate. For such a heavy, typically fatty main ingredient, this is both a marvel and a rarity. Tender grains of rice swim in a pool of coconut milk, accompanied only by a hint of cane sugar and salt. Dainty, unexpectedly delicate, the thinner texture creates a delightfully refreshing overall experience.

Coconut-forward but not aggressively so, each spoonful bears a lightly toasted tropical flavor but keeps things very simple. Perfectly fitting the definition of comfort food, there are no challenging flavors or surprises concealed in these attractive little containers. What you see is what you get, delivering on the high quality such packaging has always conveyed. Serve them absolutely chilled, straight out of the fridge and unadorned, for an ideal summer snack or dessert.

Locally made in San Francisco and sadly limited in availability nationwide, I’d like to think that this is just the start for a blossoming young company. After all, there’s clearly ample demand for more non-dairy desserts; the proof is in the pudding.

Dancing in the Rain

Predictably unpredictable as always, springtime in San Francisco meaning blazing hot days of sunshine, followed immediately by the shock of hail, and endless vacillation between floods and droughts. Winter is usually the rainy season, but all bets are off as weather across the globe grows more extreme. Though fleeting, each sudden downpour puts a serious damper on business as usual. If you’re on foot, you’re liable to drown before reaching your destination, even if it’s just across the street. If you’re lucky enough to have a car, get cozy because traffic will be at a standstill as hapless motorists try to contend with the unmanageable conditions. A real rainy day like this calls for staying in by all means possible, for the sake of safety and sanity.

That means you had better stock your pantry and be prepared to make a meal of whatever you have on hand. Soups and stews are my go-to solutions for just such an occasion; anything in the fridge, freezer, and pantry can meld together in some sort of harmonious fusion, and with an ample spice rack, you’ll never risk flavor fatigue. Cook once, eat twice, thrice- or as many times as you can stand it.

Contending with another drenching rain one recent afternoon, sheer luck and serendipity yielded one of the most brilliant, prismatic brews I’ve had simmering on the stove in many months. Boldly magenta, or perhaps violently violet, purple potatoes, black quinoa, and red cabbage join forces to create a stew of a different hue. Delicious as it is visually stunning, I knew right away that this was no average stone soup, setting to work recording my recipe for future reference. Only in hindsight to I see the uncanny connection to Prince, whom we remember for his untimely passing exactly two years ago tomorrow.

I’d like to think that this simple bowl of comfort might be a small way to celebrate, rather than mourn such a vibrant life. It doesn’t need to be raining out to enjoy such a blend, but it certainly does make for a comforting complement to the weather. As Prince has said, “Honey I know, I know, I know times are changing.
It’s time we all reach out for something new,” so go ahead, shake up the usual routine and give it a try.

Purple Rainy Day Soup

2 Tablespoons Olive Oil
1 Medium Red Onion, Diced
4 Cloves Garlic, Minced
4 Cups Shredded Red Cabbage
1/3 Cup Black Quinoa
2 Medium Purple Potatoes, Peeled and Diced (About 1 Pound)
1 Bay Leaf
4 Cups Vegetable Stock
2 Tablespoons Red Miso Paste
1/2 Teaspoon Ground Black Pepper
1/2 Teaspoon Dried Rosemary, Crushed
1 Tablespoon Sherry Vinegar
1/2 Cup Frozen Green Peas

Place the olive oil in a large stock pot and set it over medium heat on the stove. Saute for about 5 minutes, until translucent. Add in the garlic and continue cooking for another 5 – 10 minutes, until aromatic and lightly browned. Incorporate the shredded cabbage in handfuls, allowing it to wilt down slightly before adding more. Follow that with the dry quinoa, potatoes, and bay leaf.

Whisk the miso paste into the stock until smooth before pouring the mixture into the pot. Bring the mixture up to a boil, reduce the heat, and cover. Simmer for 25 – 30 minutes until the potatoes are fork-tender and the quinoa is fully cooked. Season with black pepper, rosemary, and vinegar, adjusting to taste if needed.

Toss in the frozen peas and simmer just until thawed and hot all the way through. Serve right away while piping hot!

Makes 4 – 6 Servings

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Chow Down

Does anyone else get bummed out by Trader Joe’s cat cookies? It’s not that they’re disappointing in flavor- Far from it- But that they’re blatantly speciesist. Printed on every generous tub are the words “For People!” with no mention of our feline friends. They’re inspired by, shaped like, and named for cats, and yet these highly esteemed creatures are clearly excluded from indulging alongside us. It’s a slap in the face (or perhaps, paw to the snout) of the little lions among us. My modus operandi has always been to provide food for everyone to enjoy, regardless of tastes, dietary restrictions, or breeds, so it strikes me as terribly shortsighted of Trader Joe’s to classify such promising morsels in such an exclusive fashion.

The same can be said of “puppy chow.” Typically, this is a crowd-pleasing yet tooth-achingly sweet mix of melted chocolate, powdered sugar, and cereal squares, tossed together to approximate the appearance of dog food. Chocolate is at the top of the list of canine dangers when it comes to feeding, so I have to wonder who was the first person to dream up this combination. What a sadly misleading title!

Carob could make for an easy conversion, but not one that most humans would be particularly enthusiastic about. Besides, the added sugar really isn’t the best fuel for our furry friends. Savory flavors are what this reinvented blend is all about! Peanut butter with an umami kick of liquid aminos and nutritional yeast meet crunchy corn or rice cubes for a highly snack-able blend, no matter your breed. Feel free to spice things up for your own tastes with a generous dose of sriracha, smoked paprika, or chili powder, but keep it on the side for more sensitive puppy palates.

Although the temptation to immediately chow down straight from the bowl will be high, please mind your manners. There’s no reason to eat like an animal.

Savory Puppy Chow (For People AND Puppies)

1/4 Cup Natural Creamy Peanut Butter
1/4 Cup Coconut Oil
1 Tablespoon Braggs Liquid Aminos
1 Teaspoon Apple Cider Vinegar
4 Cups Corn or Rice Cereal Squares
1/3 Cup Toasted Coconut Shreds or Flakes
1/2 Cup Oat Flour
1/4 Cup Tapioca Starch
2 Tablespoons Nutritional Yeast

Place the peanut butter, coconut oil, liquid aminos, and vinegar in a small saucepan over low heat. Stir until smooth and slightly thickened. Toss with the cereal, coconut, and oat flour in a large bowl until the squares are evenly coated. Sprinkle in the tapioca starch and nutritional yeast last, stirring gently to cover the pieces without crushing them. Serve warm.

Makes About 4 1/2 Cups

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