No Bones About It

Iconic as it is deeply flawed, the imagery of a dog gnawing away at a huge, meaty bone is one embedded in our cultural fabric, a remnant of misguided early training practices. Our tiny beasts are carnivores at heart, some argue, irresistibly drawn to the taste of meat, who love nothing more than savoring our scraps while getting a good dental workout at the same time. Without picking apart the umpteen faults in that shaky logic, the irrefutable truth is that bones are dangerous for dogs big and small, young and old. Brittle and easily snapped into pointed shards, those sharp pieces can result in choking, digestive blockages, cuts around the gums and throat, vomiting, and in the worst cases, yes, those symptoms can be compounded, and that innocent treat can become fatal.

Vegan or not, bones have no place on the menu for humans, so why should they suffice for our canine companions? Countless alternatives exist for safer, softer options, including those made from scraps of a different sort. Polishing off a few yards of leftover remnant yarn, this quick knit bone was a satisfying project for both human and animal participants.

A prodigious chewer with especially pointed little teeth, I thought for sure my monster baby would tear right through my handiwork in less time than it took to complete, but I’m happily surprised by its longevity thus far. Content to teethe rather than shred, Luka seems to savor this new toy with a sense of appreciation. It’s only a matter of time before the plush facsimile lies in ruin, no doubt, but that can easily be replaced; the pup himself most certainly cannot.

For Every Bird a Nest [of Kale]

For every Bird a Nest —
Wherefore in timid quest
Some little Wren goes seeking round —

Wherefore when boughs are free —
Households in every tree —
Pilgrim be found?

Perhaps a home too high —
Ah Aristocracy!
The little Wren desires —

Perhaps of kale so fine —
Of leafy greens e’en superfine,
Her pride aspires —

The Lark is not ashamed
To build upon the ground
Her modest house —

Yet who of all the throng
Dancing around the sun
Does so rejoice?

[Ever so slightly adapted from] Emily Dickinson

Pizza Party!

At long last, you can enjoy your very own slice of knit pizza!

Now, this is my very first pattern, so if there are any errors or confusing bits, please let me know and I’ll do my best to clarify. In addition, I would appreciate it greatly if you would only make these for yourself and your friends, without selling the finished product or pattern, seeing as it came from the vapid expanses of my own head. …So what are you waiting for, get knitting!

Crust

 

 

With US #7 needles and tan yarn, CO 20

Row 1 and all other odd-numbered rows, unless otherwise noted: P

Row 2 and 4: K1, kfb, k all stitches until last 2, kfb, k1

Row 6 and 8: K

Row 10 and 12: K1, k2tog, k all stitches until last 3, ssk, k1

Row 14 and 16: K

Row 18: K1, k2tog, k all stitches until last 3, ssk, k1

Row 20: K

Row 22: K1, k2tog, k all stitches until last 3, ssk, k1

Row 24 and 26: K

Row 28: K1, k2tog, k all stitches until last 3, ssk, k1

Row 30: K

Row 32: K1, k2tog, k all stitches until last 3, ssk, k1

Row 34: K

Row 36: K1, k2tog, k all stitches until last 3, ssk, k1

Row 38: K

Row 40 and 42: K1, k2tog, k all stitches until last 3, ssk, k1

Row 44: K1, k2tog, ssk, k1

Row 46: K1, k2tog, k1

Row 47: K3tog, Tie off.

 

To make up the crust, fold over the top of the triangle you just knit, aligning sides so that the increases and decreases match. Hand-sew this flap down, WS facing (the bottom of your pizza will have the smooth side of the stockinet stitch, and all of the bumpy side will eventually be covered by the other pieces.)

 

Sauce / Cheese

 

 

To achieve the correct coloration, please refer to the color chart below for the first four rows, continuing in yellow after it is completed.

 

 

CO 20

Row 1, and all other odd rows, unless otherwise noted: P

Row 2: K

Row 4: K1, k2tog, k all stitches until last 3, ssk, k1

Row 6: K

Row 8: K1, k2tog, k all stitches until last 3, ssk, k1

Row 10 and 12: K

Row 14: K1, k2tog, k all stitches until last 3, ssk, k1

Row 16: K

Row 18: K1, k2tog, k all stitches until last 3, ssk, k1

Row 20: K

Row 22: K1, k2tog, k all stitches until last 3, ssk, k1

Row 24: K

Row 26 and 28: K1, k2tog, k all stitches until last 3, ssk, k1

Row 30: K

Row 32: K1, k2tog, ssk, k1

Row 34: K1, k2tog, k1

Row 35: K3tog, Tie off.

 

Mushroom

 

 

Switching over to US #4 needles for the toppings, in a light cream yarn, CO 2

Row 1 and all other odd rows: P

Row 2: K

Row 4: Kfb, kfb

Row 6: Kfb, k2, kfb

Row 8: K

Row 10: P2tog, p2, p2tog

BO

 

With darker brown yarn, hand-embroider the details of the bottom of the mushroom cap, referring to the photo if necessary.

 

Onion

 

In white yarn, CO 16

Row 1: K2tog across

BO

 

*For alternate toppings, the technique for the onion can easily make peppers, using either green or red yarn instead of the white.

 

To assemble: First, weave in ends on all the toppings and sew them securely to the cheese piece in whatever arrangement pleases you. Then smooth out the sides of the sauce / cheese piece (the edges will want to curl, as with any piece knit in stockinet) and align the sides evenly with that of your crust. With WS together, (both RS’s should be outwards and visible) whip stitch the edges together with the crust color, and be sure to also sew down the top part near the folded edge of the crust. Tie tight, and hide the ends underneath the cheese.

 

 

Enjoy, but don’t eat!

*Or, go share a slice and see the pizza that other crafty bloggers knit up at…

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