Category: Crochet

According to grilling enthusiasts, now is high-time to start dragging your family outside and firing up those grated metal bars again. Memorial Day, the point of no return, is almost upon us, undeniably marking the first official reason to break out the burgers and oversized spatulas, ensuring their place as mandatory fixtures in any sort of group gatherings to follow. Sure, grilling is a fast, efficient way to cook / char / incinerate a wide range of foods that could easily carry a party from appetizers to desserts, but if I can be perfectly honest with you? I get about as excited about grilling as I do about microwaving. It’s just another method of cooking for me, and these long summer months full of special magazine inserts, tv programs, and sales on grilling, grilling, and more grilling really make me long for a flash-frost that would put those infernal contraptions out of commission.

Before the novelty wears off and backyard barbeques become about as exciting as my daily shower, I can still appreciate some of the smoldering food stuffs to survive their encounter with coal. Unfortunately, my lovely veggie skewers are rarely allowed to cook in peace, as hotdogs have been an irreplaceable staple of my family’s get-togethers for as long as I can remember. Made of random animal scraps, few commonplace foods disturb me more, but my father has a peculiar affinity for them nonetheless. As legend has it, he supposedly went a full month eating nothing but hotdogs in his college years; Hotdogs for breakfast, lunch, dinner, and anything in between. Can you imagine? Truly, how a person could stomach that menu is beyond me, so you would have to ask him yourself to confirm this bit of lore.

Still, this year I’ve discovered a new brand of tofu pups that are surprisingly edible, so I’m happy to have more options for the next time that the grill cover comes off. Meat substitutes are generally a rarity in my home, as I was never particularly fond of the taste to begin with, but accompanied by a healthy squirt of mustard, these pups can actually hold their own. If only the rest of my family wasn’t so biased against these blatant “fakes,” they might want to find a place on their own grills for them too. Maybe some day even my dad might approve of their taste, if ever he could see beyond his beloved beef hotdogs. Since they’re so easy to whip up, why don’t you try them for yourself?

To make your own tofu pup, you will need an F hook, fiberfill stuffing, and worsted weight yarn in cream, white, rust, and mustard yellow.

Outer Bun: (Make 2)

With your cream colored yarn, ch19. Sc into second ch from hook, and sc into the following 16 sts. Sc 3 times into the final ch, continuing around, and sc into the backs of those same 16 sts. In the last one, sc 2 times. (38 sts)

2 sc into first st, sc 16, 2sc into next st, sc 1, 2sc into the next st, sc 16, 2sc into the next st, sc 2. (42 sts)

Sc 1, 2sc into next st, sc 16, 2sc into next st, sc 3, 2sc into next st, sc 16, 2sc into the next st, sc 2. (46 sts)

Sc 2, 2sc into next st, sc 16, 2sc into next st, sc 5, 2 sc into next st, 16 sc, 2 sc into next st, sc 3. (50)

Sc into each st for 3 rounds.

Break yarn.

Inner Bun (Make 2):

Repeat the first 4 rounds of the outer bun in white and break yarn.

Wiener:

Sc 5 sts into a ring, and sc twice into each sts. (10 sts)

Sc 1, 2sc into the next st* around. (15 sts)

Sc even for 13 rounds. Now is the time that you would want to surface crochet the mustard squiggle on in order to embellish your pup, using your mustard-colored yarn. Once you have your wavy line, stuff firmly.

Sc1, sc2tog* around. (10 sts)

Sc2tog around. (5 sts)

Break yarn and gather remaining stitches together. Tie tight and weave in ends.

To assemble, sew each outer bun to the inner bun, stuffing once you’ve closed closed up the seam about 5/6 of the way. Finish sewing the two pieces together and tie tight. Once you have both halves together, sew those pieces together across one long side to make a full bun. Nestle your tofu pup into the bun, and you’re all set to get your grill on!

Wow. All I can say is just wow. Thank you all so much for responses – The sheer volume of opinions, suggestions, support, and general input was more than I could have hoped for in my wildest dreams! The votes still need to be tallied, and all manner of proposals taken into consideration before the cover design moves forward to the next step, but I think that there is at least one clear-cut winner for the font… I bet that you can figure that one out, too!

In the kitchen the other day while playing around with new recipes as usual, my thoughts kept drifting back to all you wonderful people offering such a service to me without any reserve, and wishing that there was some way I could share these sweets with you guys. After all of the help that I’ve received, I figured that it’s only common courtesy to offer some sort of token of my appreciation, too. Sitting so invitingly on the counter, the fresh pastries were practically begging me to share them with all of you deserving readers. That is why I’m so excited about writing a cookbook in the first place; So that I can share all of these delicious goodies with absolutely everyone, near or far.

Still, with the tentative release date so far off, that certainly wouldn’t suffice for this situation. Why not send some sweet treat out anyways? I pondered aloud, picking out the most luscious strawberry tartlette of the batch and setting it aside. The only reason I have this opportunity is because of the blog and all those kind enough to stop in, so thanks are definitely due. I know that this doesn’t even begin to cover it, but I thought it might be fun if I tossed out a little raffle for everyone who put in their two cents about the cover. So, after randomly drawing a number to correspond with one lucky commenter, it seems that my tiny tart will be going to…

Ren!! Congrats, this little trinket will be headed your way asap! Expect an email from me shortly!

Don’t be disappointed if you weren’t chosen – I hope to hold more random raffles like this in the future to continue saying “thanks” to everyone kind enough to make their presence known, so stick around! There are bound to be lots of treats looking for stomaches, and sweet creatures looking for good homes!

They say that there is no love as pure as a mother’s love, and I find it hard to think of any evidence to suggest the contrary. Yes, I know that yesterday was Mother’s Day and I kind of missed the boat on that one, but just humor my belated ramblings, would you? Besides, I shouldn’t need an excuse to express my gratitude for perhaps the most under-appreciated figure in all of human history. Isn’t it always the mom that works and works and works to make the whole family one cohesive unit? I can only speak of what I’ve seen with my own eyes, but I’m convinced that mothers in general tend to pull more than their own weight when it comes to chores, parenting, and everything in between. Having been so fortunate to receive the love of a woman as amazing as my mother, it’s almost impossible for me to imagine how anyone could have a dysfunctional relationship with the person meant to be nourishing and supportive even before she could hold you in her arms. Truly, everywhere I look I can only see wise women raising strong children. Why, just the other day, I even saw this pattern repeated in nature, as a pair of turtles crossed my path down by the brook.

Proceeding in a straight line as though they were on parade, the watchful mother remained exactly one step ahead of her youngster, testing the waters and clearing a safe path to make the going easier for her lucky spawn. Taking great care to always keep an eye to the little one behind her while still never loosing focus on the future directly ahead, I imagine they would be able to survive many difficult obstacles together like this. An adorable duo indeed, it was easy to see that the turtle tot was still trying to elbow in ahead of his guardian for a role reversal, showing a return of compassion for all her efforts. Still immature, he was kept in check by a few loving taps from those short, stubby feet of hers.

Struggling to gain an edge on her, the little shelled child still managed somehow to catch up just long enough to whisper some brief, unheard secret that only the two of them will ever know.

I can only speculate that he said something about his gratitude and love towards her, his recognition of how difficult it must be to always think of his needs and wants before her own… But on the other hand, if he’s anything like human children, it was more likely to be an embarrassed nagging, asking her to give him more space like the rest of his friends have.

Isis sure has been scarfing down her special birthday cookies with great enthusiasm ever since the first savory morsel appeared in her dish that morning. Since the recipe ended up making a relatively large batch for one lucky pup to eat on her own, I thought they would last her for a good few weeks at least, but clearly she had thoughts of her own that were quite a departure from mine. Reaching into the cupboard to reward her for being so cute, [Her best trick!] I was mystified when my searching hands emerged with nothing, as the container of biscuits was no where to be found. Seeing my dear little chow hound in action for so many years now, I guess I should have seen this coming, but the way that this tiny creature can put away massive amounts of food is still impressive all the same.

As luck would have it, one of Isis’ friends stopped by shortly after to wish her a belated birthday, excited to see his “favorite” basenji in town. Compliments on her lovely fur coat and deep brown eyes followed in quick succession, as though he was merely reading off of a grocery list, entirely impersonal and growing all the more pathetic by the minute. Well, it’s a good thing that we raised her to resist insincere praise like this, because she was completely unswayed by his thinly veiled ulterior motives. Certainly any good friend would be willing to share their birthday treats, especially those fantastic homemade cookies he’s heard so much about, right?

After informing him that he came too late to sample those treats himself, as if Isis had had any intention of sharing the wealth with such a leech, I expected him to scamper off just as quickly as he had dropped in. Much to my surprise, he still forced his way into our begrudgingly opened door and continued to ask for sustenance all the same. Gourmet or not, he came to be fed and was clearly not planning to leave until we obliged. Thinking fast so that we could rid ourselves of this parasite, I hastily exhumed an old box of stale, machine-made “treats” from the back pantry – They were composed more of sawdust than of edible material, but quality was not my greatest concern in this instant.

Hiding his disappointment well, I’m sure he knew very well that beggars can’t be choosers, and the lack-luster goods were consumed without complaint. Despite his rude intrusion, I guess we should still be thankful that he helped clear out more shelf space by taking those inedible bricks off our hands!

Emerging from dark caves after a long long winter, deprived of the luxury of warmth and sunlight for so many months on end, it’s no wonder that many members of the human species can appear to be as washed-out as authentic albinos. Stretching anemic limbs out in the renewed day light now that spring has taken hold of the solar procession, one might envy the thick fur of many animals; If only hiding such sallow skin tone was as easy for mankind! While I personally have no problem with sporting the palest coloring of anyone I know, the trend to tan oneself to the point of resembling burnt toast has taken hold of many, compelling hundreds of these bleached bodies to seek out the tanning salons, and fast, before someone sees them without their unnatural orange glow.

Truly, the idea of inviting skin cancer with open arms like that escapes me, but perhaps I’m too far out of the loop to understand the obsession. Even so, there’s nothing wrong with being a bit pale – Beneath their bright coats, many animals are just as pasty, too!

Case in point, this sweet little giraffe may not be the brightest crayon in the box, but that doesn’t mean she doesn’t have lustrous personality. Picked on for her appearance at a young age, she grew up much faster than any blossoming calf should have to; A brief conversation will prove her maturity beyond the shadow of a doubt. Strong as she is though, it hasn’t ever been easy for her to make friends within the circle of more colorful giraffes that are so popular in school. They all look at her differently, with disdain, as if it was her fault that she was born into such an unusual form.

Sadly, for all of her determination, she was treated as an outcast all the same. It was as if she was nothing more than diluted lemonade, unpalatable to taste and unpleasing to the eye. Truly, a lemon stripped of all its outer zest was still more vibrant from their prejudiced view point!

What cruel, cruel fate has destined both unfortunate souls to suffer the slings and arrows of those biased by the color of their skin! Little do those judgemental children know what treasures they conceal on the inside; Unassuming as it may be from the outside, who could guess what marvelously tart juice the lemon still contains? The giraffe as well – For it takes more than a superficial glance to know what an amazing friend she could prove to be.

For now, they have no choice but to wait for those ignorant associates to grow up and see their errors… But at least they can take comfort knowing that they are not alone.

…But I just can’t shake the feeling that I’m being watched lately. Loading my belongings into the same worn school bag in the morning, something doesn’t feel right. To my knowledge, nothing has changed in the world immediately outside my doorstep, and yet I find myself fearful of encountering some unknown set of eyes, harshly pointed in my direction as soon as I lock the door behind me. My first reaction is to question why such this intense feeling stirs up my gut more thoroughly than even the most prolific blenders on the market, but the craziness of the whole situation prevents me from rationalizing it. Obviously no one could be watching my everyday comings and goings – Who would want to observe something so fantastically dull? – But part of me is still reluctant to dismiss it and push the thought firmly into the back of my mind.

When faced with general uneasiness like this, I’ve found that in most cases the only way to work through it is to play it by ear. Try to go through the day like normal, but keep an eye out for the atypical, I coach myself as my hand closes around the door knob. Out into the sunlight that is only beginning to break above the horizon, all is well… But there is still that creeping feeling just gnawing away at my mind, tickling my peripheral vision, teasing and taunting me as though it’s some crazy game of keep-away. Desperate to determine the source now, my game plan quickly dissolves and I find myself traipsing out into the backyard, looking every which way for the unknown.

Luckily, before there was time for me to have a complete mental meltdown, my eyes fixed on one bright spot way up in the trees above me. Without understanding why, I knew with great certainty that I had found the source of my malaise, the voyeur who had been stealing long glances at me without my full awareness.

Quite comfortably situated in a not-so-distant bush, the bright yellow eyes of fowl origin pointed directly at me, and easily gave away their owner as the perpetrator I had sensed for days now.

Feeling justified to take a good long look for myself this time, it was confounding that I had failed to notice him until now. Unlike any other owl I had ever encountered, my resident peeping tom here was quite conspicuous in his fantastic outfit of brilliant purple feathers. How on Earth had he managed to hide in such a monotone setting, especially when the late-blooming leaves have not yet come in? Clearly not from around here, I’m sure he must have found all these strange humans living under one roof just as fascinating as I thought him to be. I don’t blame him for being curious… But truly, if there’s one thing that drives me crazy, it’s when I receive unwanted stares from strangers!

Knowing full well that he had been caught, the owl must have decided that he had seen all there was to see, and after one last unblinking glance, he shuffled away into higher branches, hiding himself from view. Although I would have given him quite a serious talking to for driving me nearly to the edge with such shenanigans, I knew it would be futile to attempt reaching him way up in the trees where he waited. No need to add injury to insult, thank you very much.

Making my way to the car and going back to business as usual, I was content just to confirm that I wasn’t completely losing my mind all the same. Let me tell you, the day went much smoother when I didn’t have to worry about some scary stalker waiting to ambush me just around the bend – Just a small purple owl no more dangerous than your average couch potato.