BitterSweet

Sweet Musings with a Bitterly Sharp Wit


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Silent Sunday: Fully Engaged

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Spiraling Out of Control

Will It Noodle? Like the popular series inspired by one particular turbo-charged blender, challenging contenders to step up to the plate for possible processing, the answer is invariably an emphatic yes. Testing the limits of my trusty spiralizer has proven far more gratifying though, since these trials end with delicious strands of vegetables, rather than a pile of useless rubble. Zucchini tends to get all the fame and glory, shredding easily and blending seamlessly with any bold sauce, but there’s a wide range of unsung plant-based options, ripe for the noodling.

Scrounging through the fridge for a more reasonable dinner than greasy takeout or cold cereal, my intention was never to make something worth posting about, and yet the results were too beautiful to ignore. Spinning up an orange-fleshed spud instead of squash started out my bowl with a hearty, substantial base for a southwestern-inspired celebration of summer. What’s more important than the individual components, however, is the basic concept. There’s so much more than just green zucchini out there, perfect for spiralizing. Harder root vegetables can still be eaten raw, but depending on your preference, might be more enjoyable lightly steamed and softened. With that in mind, I would invite you to consider the following alternatives:

  • Sweet Potatoes/Yams
  • Beets
  • Daikon
  • Carrots
  • Parsnips
  • Broccoli Stems
  • Turnips
  • Jicama
  • Cucumbers

Don’t stop there. On the sweeter side of the menu, apples can turn into noodle just as easily, along with a full rainbow of more exotic fruits and vegetables. Once you’ve got a spiralizer, you have instant access to endless pasta replacements. Keep on whirling your way through the produce bin with abandon! There are just a few guidelines to determine the best bets for noodling:

  • Don’t use anything with a hollow or highly seeded core
  • Pieces should be at least 2 inches in diameter and 2 inches long to create full strands
  • Firmer, more solid-fleshed options will yield the best results

It feels silly to write out this formula as a full recipe; all quantities and ingredients are entirely adjustable. Not feeling corny? Lose the kernels. Prefer peas? Invite them to the party! In truth, I would have preferred pinto or black beans to fit the theme better, but chickpeas were the only canned legumes in the pantry at the time. Despite that shortcoming, I don’t think the end results particularly suffered. The most important takeaway here is that if you’re wondering, Will It Noodle?, there’s only one way to find out… And it’s almost always a delicious experiment.

Southwestern Sweet Potato Spiral Bowl

8 Ounces Spiralized Sweet Potato, Raw or Lightly Steamed
1/3 Cup Corn Kernels
1/2 Cup Chickpeas
1/2 Avocado, Sliced
1/3 Cup Cherry Tomatoes, Halved
1/4 Cup Salsa
1/2 Cup Shredded Lettuce
1/3 Cup Sliced Bell Peppers

Quick Chipotle Crema

3/4 Cup Raw Cashews
1/2 Cup Water
2 Tablespoons Lime juice
1 Chipotle Chile Canned in Adobo + 2 Tablespoons of the Adobo Sauce
1 Tablespoon Tomato Paste
2 Teaspoons Nutritional Yeast
1/2 Teaspoon Salt

Begin by tossing all of the ingredients for the chipotle crema into your blender and cranking it up to high. Thoroughly puree until completely smooth, pausing to scrape down the sides of the containing if needed. You will likely have more crema than needed for one portion, but trust me, you’ll wish there was even more leftover once you taste this stuff. In fact, feel free to double the quantities and save the sauce in an airtight container in the fridge for up to a week.

Spoon a generous dollop or two of the chipotle crema onto the spiralized sweet potato and toss to thoroughly coat the noodles. Place in a large bowl, and pile the remaining vegetables on top in an attractive pattern (avocado rose not required.) Dig in!

Makes 1 Serving

Printable Recipe


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Bowl-ed and Beautiful

A hoarder by trade but a minimalist at heart, bridging the gap between these disparate impulses can be a herculean task. Dishware stacks up in towering piles on every shelf of my small living space, populating the cabinets and drawers, overflowing into the outdoor shed, and still it’s a strain to find homes for every odd garnish. A riotous collection of colors and shapes, few pieces match a full set, but each one can command equal attention in the right scene. Such is the struggle of the average food photographer, forever adding to the archive of possible plating options. Particularly unusual or unique finds hold particular allure, but truth be told, it’s inevitably the simplest options that get the most play.

Everything looks good on white, setting off any food in sharp contrast like a bright spotlight, allowing the recipe itself to shine. Clean lines draw the eye smoothly around the composition overall, comfortably guiding a visual path back to the “hero” of the moment. Bowls like these are invaluable because no matter the theme or concept for any given assignment, these supporting actors always play a crucial role, without breaking a sweat.

Quality whites are essential even if you aren’t building a feast fit to photograph. The gentle plunging rims of these cereal bowls are an ideal example of form meeting function. When Sweese approached me with the opportunity to share this set, I couldn’t believe my (and hopefully your) luck. I’ve found myself using them for daily meals as well as more fanciful composed photo shoots. Win your very own set of four 28-ounce porcelain bowls by leaving me a comment about what you would serve in them first! Log your submission by following this link to the official contest page and find more ways to enter while you’re there. You have until July 25th to throw your hat into the ring; don’t miss this chance to make a bowl-ed statement!

Winning may not help control the overzealous prop shopper, but at least your place settings can look perfectly orderly and uncluttered.


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Weaponized Watermelon

I hit a man with a watermelon today.

Swinging like a pendulum from the shopping bag slung low on my shoulder, it connected solidly with his knee, startling a low grunt of discomfort from deep within his subconscious. Too embarrassed to make proper eye contact, I can’t say for certain whether he was in genuine pain or just surprised by the melon’s breach of personal space, but I felt the acute pain of social misconduct.

“So-orry!” The words tumbled out as awkwardly as my unstable footing, lurching forward unsteadily as the bus accelerated at random, up and down the precipitous hills of San Francisco. Still wrestling to gain full control of the wayward watermelon, the weight of it grew more burdensome with every passing city block, threatening to rip lose from the threadbare gussets already straining to contain its girth. Soon it began lashing out at other innocent bystanders, swinging wildly like a mace, threatening to enter full wrecking ball mode if only it could work up the momentum.

Even after muscling into a vacant seat, wedging the bag firmly between my feet, the little round demon still rolled about with abandon, seeking a quick getaway. Clearly, it had dreams of flying freely across the floor, bowling down anything in its path. Fighting for its life as though it understood the fate that lay ahead, it was as inconsolable as it was uncontrollable.

Mercifully, before the melon could detonate in an explosive, sticky blowout or cause further bodily harm, the doors swung open to the sweltering street, dumping us unceremoniously at our destination. Though the encounter may not have ended well for that innocent man on the receiving end of my watermelon’s wrath, his pain was not in vain; successfully taming the beast was a sweet relief, indeed.


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No Chill

Everyday, there’s a new absurd, excessive food trend blowing up on the internet. For as many as of these over-hyped edibles as we love to hate, it’s impossible to deny the appeal of a select few crazy concepts. Thanks to the advent of flexible silicon molds, no food is safe from doughnut-ification. It didn’t take long for visually stunning sushi doughnuts to emerge as a clear winner, captivating hungry followers across all social media platforms, but the hits keep on coming.

Trust me, ice cream doughnuts are more than just another excuse to capitalize on the irresistibly attractive ring shape. Haters will be the only ones with no chill, because these frozen treats are as much fun to admire as they are to eat! Pretty in pink, the glaze is actually a beet-tinted approach to magic shell, flavored with vanilla and finished with those classic rainbow sprinkles. It just wouldn’t be a doughnut without them.

…Or would it? Almost as soon as the initial batch was devoured, I realized the opportunity that had been missed. Cinnamon sugar doughnuts, singing of warmth and comfort, are equally worthy candidates of imitation. Contrasting against the cold, creamy base, the spiced coating seals in a frozen surprise for the unsuspecting eater. Far more refreshing than the usual oily cake, it may even have an edge on the traditional treat, especially as temperatures outside skyrocket.

These treats were inspired by the call to action from Go Dairy Free and So Delicious to celebrate #FrozenFridays this summer. It’s hard to improve on their creamy dairy-free desserts, but simply playing with the presentation turns an everyday sort of indulgence into a candidate for the next big Instagram obsession. Absolutely any flavor will work, so go wild and play with colors and textures, dressing up your doughnuts with edible extravagance befitting the “So Delicious” title.

Ice Cream Doughnuts

1 Pint So Delicious Very Vanilla Cashew Milk or Vanilla Bean Coconut Milk Ice Cream

Doughnut Glaze Magic Shell:

1/2 Cup 100% Food-Grade Cocoa Butter, Melted
1 Tablespoon Refined Coconut Oil, Melted
1/4 Cup Confectioner’s Sugar
2 Tablespoons Arrowroot
1/2 Teaspoon Beet Powder (Optional, for Color)
1/2 Teaspoon Vanilla Extract
Pinch Salt
Rainbow Sprinkles

Cinnamon Crumb Coating:

4 Ice Cream Waffle Cones
1/2 Teaspoon Ground Cinnamon
1 Cup So Delicious Original Culinary Coconut Milk (Full-Fat Coconut Milk)

To make the ice cream doughnuts, have silicon doughnut molds at the ready and soften your pint of ice cream. Once thawed to the point of being spreadable but before it completely melts, smooth the ice cream evenly into your mold, taking care to fill any voids. Lightly tap the mold on the counter to remove any air bubbles before quickly sliding it into the freezer. Let chill until frozen solid; at least 4 – 6 hours but ideally overnight.

For the magic shell, mix together the melted cocoa butter and coconut oil before whisking in the confectioner’s sugar, arrowroot, and beet powder. Whisk vigorously until completely smooth and the beet powder has fully dissolved. Stir in the vanilla and salt. Retrieve your ice cream doughnuts from the freezer and pop them out of the mold. Either dip each one or drizzle with the magic shell before quickly topping with sprinkles; the glaze sets up almost immediately, so you need to be fast! Serve right away or return them to the freezer until ready to enjoy.

For the cinnamon crumb coating, place the ice cream cones and cinnamon in your blender or food processor and pulse until very finely ground. Transfer to a shallow dish. Place the coconut milk in a separate dish, and dip each frozen doughnut into the coconut milk to ensure that the topping will adhere. Press the crumbs firmly into the doughnut until completely coated. Eat immediately or return the doughnuts to the freezer until ready to serve.

Makes 6 Ice Cream Doughnuts

Printable Recipe


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Let Them Eat Cornbread

Unwittingly, shamefully, it seems I’ve committed yet another culinary corruption. It was a crime of passion, as most are, born of unrequited cravings stemming from a deep, indecipherable source, compelling yet not entirely comprehensible. True love could hardly be described as rational, illuminating a clear path towards happiness, which is how this particular journey somehow got derailed into delinquency.

Cornbread, soft and sweet, haunted my dreams. Containing an impossibly dense yet fluffy crumb, melting away to a light, satisfying coarse grit on the tongue, this was the stuff of legend, a memory logged long ago during those early formative years that lack clear timestamps. It wasn’t any old Jiffy mix calling to me from beyond the periphery of cognition. It was cornbread you eat as an event by itself, not a mere side dish to a grander spread; cornbread that stole the show.

Without a second thought or further consultation, propelled by sheer passion and blissful ignorance, I tore into the cabinets to assemble my team. Cornmeal, coconut milk, olive oil, and sugar; all guilty by association. Any born and bred southerner could see in an instant where this is going by now, but in the heat of the moment, this uninformed Yankee hadn’t a care in the world.

Encrusted with a crunchy crumb topping and pock-marked with juicy red berries, still hot from the kiss of the oven, it was a sight to behold. Exactly what I had always wanted out of a cornbread without being able to fully verbalize the details, it exceeded expectations in a single bite. Though considerably more decadent than perhaps originally intended, one could hardly hold such delicious extravagance against it.

Hardly an hour passed before I settled in with a glossy food magazine that by some ironic twist of fate focused in on cornbread. Unscrupulously, the author decried the sugared excesses of modern cornbread recipes, claiming that true cornbread should remain entirely austere; unsweetened, unembellished, little more than baked corn puree. Strongly worded with equal parts revulsion and horror, I immediately understood the error of my ways.

Cake. This is corn cake. Are we clear? A mighty fine corn cake at that, but under no circumstances should it be categorized as cornbread. Can I plead innocence if we reconsider the end goal? Don’t call it a side dish and don’t invite it to dinner. Honestly, it won’t be offended! Rather, save it for a midday snack with a glass of iced tea, after the main meal with a scoop of vanilla ice cream, or heck, save yourself a wedge for a rich breakfast treat in the morning.

Truth be told, this crime occurred so long ago that my original corn cake was prepared with red currants, found during a very brief seasonal window, and I was too ashamed to admit my wrongdoing at the time. Thankfully, I can attest that this treat won’t suffer the least bit if you swap them for ripe raspberries, or omit the fruit addition entirely. It’s highly flexible and fairly infallible, even if you prepared it as individual cupcakes. Just remember that this is a cake, through and through, and you’ll be golden.

Cornbread Crumb Cake

Crumb Topping:

1/3 Cup All-Purpose Flour
1/3 Cup Coarsely Ground Yellow Cornmeal
1/4 Cup Dark Brown Sugar, Firmly Packed
1/8 Teaspoon Salt
2 Tablespoons Olive Oil

Cornbread Cake:

1 Cup All-Purpose Flour
2/3 Cup Finely Ground Yellow Cornmeal
1/3 Cup Coarsely Ground Yellow Cornmeal
2/3 Cup Granulated Sugar
1 Teaspoon Baking Powder
1/2 Teaspoon Baking Soda
1/2 Teaspoon Salt
3/4 Cup Fresh Red Currants or Raspberries (Optional)
1 Cup Light Coconut Milk
1/2 Cup Olive Oil
1/4 Cup Unsweetened Applesauce
1/3 Cup Light Brown Sugar, Firmly Packed
2 Teaspoons Lemon Juice

Preheat your oven to 375 degrees lightly grease an 8-inch round baking pan; set aside.

Begin by making the crumb topping first. Combine the flour, cornmeal, brown sugar, and salt in a small bowl. Drizzle the olive oil all over and use a fork to mix, forming chunky, coarse crumbs. It may seem dry at first but don’t be tempted to add more liquid; slowly but surely, it will come together, and there’s no need to stress if it remains fairly loose. Set aside.

Moving on to the main cake, in a large bowl, mix together the flour, both types of cornmeal, sugar, baking powder and soda, and salt, stirring to thoroughly combine. Add in the currants or raspberries if using and toss to coat. This will help prevent them from simply sinking to the bottom during the baking process.

Separately, whisk together the coconut milk, olive oil, apple sauce, brown sugar, and lemon juice. Once smooth, pour the liquid mixture into the bowl of dry ingredients, and use a wide spatula to gently incorporate, being careful not to crush the berries or over-mix the batter. It’s perfectly fine to leave a few errant lumps in the matrix.

Pour the batter into the prepared baking pan and sprinkle evenly with the crumb topping.

Bake for 40 – 45 minutes, until a toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean. Let cool for at least 20 – 30 minutes before slicing and serving, if you can bear the wait. It’s also fabulous at room temperature and can (theoretically) keep for 3 – 4 days if kept wrapped or sealed in an air-tight container.

Makes 8 – 12 Servings

Printable Recipe