It should look like a murder scene when you’ve done it right. Guts splayed out across the inky black hard wood on full display, hemorrhaging fast into the gutters, it’s perverse in how right it feels. Beauty in decay, creation through destruction… Or maybe just a fun way to dispatch a garden variety vegetable.
You know how they say there are people who have a very punchable face? That’s how I feel about English cucumbers. Like water balloons waiting to be thrown, their existence inspires an insatiable urge for a very specific, target aggression. Aside from the instant gratification of destroying something beautiful, bashing cucumbers rather than merely slicing them actually serves a very flavorful purpose. The uneven nooks and crannies created by forcing them to split open allows them to more readily absorb dressing, whereas smooth cuts yield slick surfaces that let it roll right off.
This technique is typically seen in Asian cuisine, paired with fiery chilies to contrast with the cooling effect of chilled cucumbers, but that’s not the only game in town. Inspired by a splash of leftover gin, so scant that it barely seemed worth saving, I turned the classic Cucumber Collins cocktail into a salad. An herbaceous yet subtle foundation, a touch of citrus, and a hint of sweetness turn this act of vegetable vengeance into a thing of elegance and refinement.
Allow yourself the raw, primal joy of intentionally obliterating your ingredients. Amid the chaos, there’s a different kind of harmony, and perhaps a deeper appreciation for their resilience. Broken open, the cucumber is only stronger, more flavorful than ever.
Smashed Cucumber Collins Salad
Let out your aggression and smash your way to a better cucumber salad. Infused with gin, lime, and mint, this concoction is inspired by the classic Tom Collins cocktail.
Ingredients
- 2 Tablespoons Gin
- 1 Tablespoon Lime Juice
- 1 Teaspoon Olive Oil
- 1/2 Teaspoon Agave Nectar
- 1/2 Teaspoon Salt
- 1 Seedless English Cucumber
- 1/2 Teaspoon Lime Zest
- Fresh Basil or Mint, Roughly Torn
Instructions
- In a medium bowl, whisk together the gin, lime juice, olive oil, agave, and salt; set aside.
- Place the cucumber on your cutting board. your cutting board. Rest the flat side of a wide knife (a butcher's knife is especially well suited to the task) on top and use your palm to carefully whack it, much as you would to smash garlic into paste. Continue hitting until the cucumber splits. Roughly tear or chopped the the crushed cucumber into bite-size pieces.
- Place the cucumber in the bowl of dressing and toss to combine. Transfer to a serving dish and top with lime zest and fresh herbs. Serve right away.
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Nutrition Information:
Yield:
2Serving Size:
1Amount Per Serving: Calories: 71Total Fat: 2gSaturated Fat: 0gTrans Fat: 0gUnsaturated Fat: 2gCholesterol: 0mgSodium: 532mgCarbohydrates: 6gFiber: 1gSugar: 3gProtein: 1g
All nutritional information presented within this site are intended for informational purposes only. I am not a certified nutritionist and any nutritional information on BitterSweetBlog.com should only be used as a general guideline. This information is provided as a courtesy and there is no guarantee that the information will be completely accurate. Even though I try to provide accurate nutritional information to the best of my ability, these figures should still be considered estimations.
Truly sorry but I am roaring with laughter at your vivid description re the poor, poor cucumbers. Have never thought of taking my ire and frustrations out on one of my very favourite salad vegetables :) ! But your boozy ‘attack’ on the poor dears sounds very different and very inviting, so >>>
I adore cucumbers as well! Sometimes though, you gotta show them who’s boss. ;) Happy belated birthday, by the way!!
I cannot wait for summer to come along so that I can try this.
Honestly, it really hits the spot all year round!
Haha… OH my.. I can just see my hubbys face, after nurturing our English Cucumbers in his allotment green house.. And me smashing them to smithereens lol haha… Shock Horror!! Blood may definitely be spilled… haha… Kidding… He wouldn’t be too happy. :-)
Though I may well be tempted into giving myself some cucumber bashing therapy, as I vent out haha…
Sending love and this really made me smile Hannah… Have a lovely midweek xx <3
Oh I can imagine! The vegetables that I grow are precious, but if there was ever surplus to be had… It’s worth the risk. ;) Hopefully the end results would justify the methods!
I agree š¤£š
So glad you let these little cucumbers hit the bottle after you pulverize them. LOL Simply brilliant and refreshing. Can’t wait to try this.
This post cracked me up, āvery punchable faceā had me laughing out loud š But seriously, the technique makes total sense and turning a classic cocktail into a salad? Genius! Iāll never look at a cucumber the same way again.