BitterSweet

An Obsession with All Things Handmade and Home-Cooked


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Play Second Fideo to None

Winter in California looks very different from the winters of my childhood. Instead of the white wonderland I’d peer out at from my bedroom window, blankets of snow magically transforming the landscape into a brave new world, the scenery out here remains largely unchanged. Colder but not freezing, darker but not unshakably gloomy, the days of this season proceed much like those that came before, and will no doubt come once again. The key difference, however, is the rain.

You’re not allowed to complain about any amount of precipitation, each minuscule drop of moisture deemed essential to refilling the depleted reservoirs. Even when the winds blow and the temperatures drop, turning a steady shower into a clammy midday swim through the city streets, it’s all good, or so we say through clenched teeth. Thank goodness for the rain, bring on more rain, let it continue to rain all month, but for the love of a higher power, please let me find a way to stay dry!

As a hapless pedestrian, this request is as impossible as it is foolish to put to words. There’s no way to avoid a drenching soak, even while sprinting away from the BART at top speed, umbrella unfurled overhead. By the time I make it to the shelter of my warm little shack, wet and tired as a rung out rag, it’s hard to muster the same veneer of enthusiasm for this kind of weather. This is a job for comfort food.

Referred to by some as “Mexican Spaghetti,” fideo is the simple sort of pasta dish that has nearly universal appeal thanks to both its flavor and ease of preparation. What’s not to love about toasted noodles infused with a pinch of cumin and a hint of rich tomatoes? Typically served dry as a side dish or flooded with broth as a soup, my preference falls somewhere in between; a thick stew of vegetables and pasta that could be eaten either with a spoon or a fork, depending on how long the noodles are cooked. Taking that concept just one step further, I realized I had a genuine risotto on my hands- Just without the rice.

Silky strands of broken spaghetti boast a uniquely nutty taste thanks to a quick saute before cooking, setting this dish apart from your average heap of pale pasta. Roasted peppers mingle amongst the short strands, harmonizing with the essences of smoked paprika and cumin to render a wholly warming, revitalizing bowl full of edible comfort. It’s a hair fancier than the original inspiration, but not much more fuss, and a whole lot more satisfying as far as I’m concerned.

Alright, bring on the rain! As long as I can come home to a revitalizing bowlful of fideo risotto, it’s really not such a bad deal.

Fideo Risotto

3 Tablespoons Olive Oil, Divided
2 Cups (1/2 Pound) Broken or Cut Spaghetti
1/2 Large Red Onion, Diced
3 Cloves Garlic, Minced
2 Roma Tomatoes, Diced
1 Poblano Pepper, Roasted, Seeded, and Diced
1 Red or Orange Bell Pepper, Roasted, Seeded, and Diced
3 Cups Low-Sodium Vegetable Broth
1 – 2 Tablespoon Tequila (Optional)
3 Tablespoons Lime Juice
2 Tablespoons Nutritional Yeast
1 1/2 Teaspoons Smoked Paprika
1 1/2 Teaspoons Ground Cumin
1 Cup Corn Kernels, Canned and Drained or Frozen and Thawed
1/2 Cup Fresh Cilantro, Chopped
Salt and Pepper, to Taste
1/4 Cup Toasted Pepitas (Optional)

Place half of the oil in a large stock pot over medium heat. Once shimmering, add in the pasta and stir to coat. Saute the noodles, stirring frequently, until toasted and golden brown all over; 5 – 8 minutes. Remove the noodles from the pot and set aside.

Return the pot to the stove and add in the remaining oil. Cook the onions and garlic together until softened and aromatic. Introduce the tomatoes and both roasted peppers next, stirring periodically, and continuing to cook until the onion are lightly golden. Add the vegetable broth, tequila (if using), lime juice, nutritional yeast, paprika, and cumin.

Bring the liquid up to a boil before returning the toasted noodles to the pot. Stir well to incorporate, cover, and reduce the heat to medium-low. Simmer gently until the pasta is tender and the liquid mostly absorbed; 9 – 11 minutes. Mix in the corn and fresh cilantro last right after taking the pot off the heat. Season with salt and pepper to taste, and top individual servings with a tablespoon or so of pepitas, if desired.

Serves 3 – 4 as a Main Dish

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Ugly but Tasty

Though it’s a quality often possessed by the most delicious meals and one that I passionately embrace in my daily menu, ugliness can be the kiss of death for a new recipe. Creations so unsightly that no amount of careful prop styling nor Photoshopping can disguise, countless innocent dishes have met their end, sacrificed in the name of vanity and not in good taste. For this conceit, I must apologize, my dear readers. It’s a personal shortfall that I couldn’t look beyond a bad photo shoot for so many homely, but tasty, pursuits.

Thank goodness for recipe tasters. Even when I’ve written something off as unexceptional, imperfect, and most commonly of all, unphotogenic, there are passionate eaters in my life outspoken enough to rescue those edible gems from certain doom. One of the most “famous” cases was that of the Frankenstorm Pie; quickly thrown together without any recipe at all, it was only due to the begging and pleading of the recipients that it was even recorded in any format to begin with, let alone make the final cut for the pages of Easy as Vegan Pie.

By some small miracle and number of very vocal recipients, one of last year’s holiday gifts was rescued from a similar fate. Inspired by the traditional rum ball, these potent little treats may be sorely lacking in the beauty department, but the flavor sure won’t leave you wanting. Spiked with a heady dose of both mint and coffee liqueurs, they were originally dubbed “Boozy Peppermint Mocha Balls,” but the only way I could think to improve their image problem was to further finesse the moniker, at the very least.

Just think of these little morsels as the adult version of a peppermint mocha latte in candy form, and for maximum enjoyment, don’t waste too much time admiring their good looks… Or lack thereof.

Spiked Peppermint Mocha Bites

2 1/2 (12-Ounce) Packages Peppermint Joe-Joe’s or Mint Chocolate Sandwich Cookies (30 Ounces Total)
2 Cups Confectioner’s Sugar, Divided
1/4 Teaspoon Instant Coffee Powder
1/4 Teaspoon Salt
1 Cup (6 Ounces) Semi-Sweet Chocolate Chips
1/4 Cup 100% Grade B Maple Syrup
1/2 Cup Kahlua or Any Other Coffee Liqueur
1/4 Cup Creme de Menthe or Any Other Mint Liqueur

Place the minty sandwich cookies of your choice in the bowl of a food processor fitted with the “s” blade, and pulse until very finely ground. Don’t worry about a few larger pieces; the extra texture is a nice addition. Introduce 1 cup of the confectioner’s sugar, instant coffee, and salt next, pulse briefly to incorporate.

In a microwave-safe dish, combine the chocolate and maple syrup, and heat for 60 seconds. Let stand for another minute before stirring thoroughly, until the chocolate is completely melted and smooth. Add the liquid chocolate into the food processor along with both liqueurs. Pulse again until the mixture is more or less homogeneous, with no particular dry or wet patches.

Scoop out a heaping tablespoon for each bite, roll firmly but gently into a ball between your palms, and toss in the remaining cup of confectioner’s sugar to coat. Repeat until all of the cookie mixture is used up, and work quickly; it becomes increasingly difficult to shape as the chocolate cools. Store in an air-tight container at room temperature for up to a week, or in the fridge for up to a month… If you can manage to ignore them for that long.

Makes 5 – 6 Dozen Bites

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Decadent Delicata

Hannukah is NOT the time to embark on some radical new low-fat diet. No matter where you believe lipids belong on your own personal food pyramid, oil is hero of this holiday, and the substance we all celebrate. From the oil in the miraculously burning lamps to the oil frying our food, the stuff has left its gloriously greasy residue all over this joyous event. This is the one rare time of year that we’re implored to ignore conventional nutritional advice and fry, fry again.

That’s not to say that just any old grease ball on a plate will suffice. Typical holiday fare turns starchy potatoes into crisp latkes and yeasted dough into jelly-stuffed sufganiyot. Dessert is where things get interesting, as the number of acceptable permutations for those requisite oily cakes hovers somewhere in the thousands. Latkes, on the other hand, are either right (however your grandma made them) or wrong (everything else.)

So on this occasion I throw caution to the wind along with another decadent treat into the vat of angrily bubbling oil. If there ever was such a thing as a “healthy” doughnut, laughable baked versions notwithstanding, it would unarguably be one made of a vegetable.

Inspired by their naturally alluring rings, simple sliced delicata squash stand in for the carbohydrate portion of the program, replacing the predictably dense dough with tender, subtly nuanced, pumpkin-like flesh. Far more flavorful than the bread-based default, it wins the battle for ease of preparation as well; the thin green skin needn’t be peeled, so just slice, remove the seeds, and you’re well on your way to an entirely new sweet holiday sensation.

Lightly battered and graced by a crunchy coating of simple cinnamon sugar, it’s hard to believe that such decadent treats are little more than plain squash rings dressed up in their finest. While you won’t fool any vegetable haters into confusing these for traditional doughnuts, you may just win them over.

Take it one step further still with a luxurious glaze of apple cider icing, redolent of the orchards on a brisk fall day. Reducing the cider does take a bit of patience, but every extra minute is well worth the wait. These dainty iced doughnuts are always the first to disappear.

Delicata Doughnuts

1 Medium (A Little Over 1 Pound) Delicata Squash
3/4 Cup All-Purpose Flour
2 Tablespoons Tapioca Starch
2 Tablespoons Chickpea Flour
3/4 Teaspoon Baking Powder
1/4 Teaspoon Baking Soda
1/2 Teaspoon Salt
1 Teaspoon Ground Cinnamon
1/2 Teaspoon Ground Ginger
1/4 Teaspoon Ground Cloves
3/4 Cup Water

Neutral Oil for Frying, such as Rice Bran or Canola

Cinnamon Sugar:

1/2 Cup Granulated Sugar
1 Tablespoon Ground Cinnamon

Cider Icing:

2 Cups Unfiltered Apple Cider
1/2 Teaspoon Vanilla Extract
2 Cups Confectioner’s Sugar

To begin, fill a large saucepan about 1/3 full with your neutral oil of choice and heat to 350 degrees.

Meanwhile, thoroughly wash and dry your delicate before slicing it into 1/2-inch thick rings. Clean out the inner guts and seeds by either scraping it with a spoon, or using small round cookie cutters to punch out the stringy innards.

Prepare the batter by simply whisking together all of the dry ingredients before slowly adding in the water. Whisk just until the mixture is smooth. Separately, stir together the cinnamon and sugar topping in a medium bowl, and set aside.

For the glaze, place the apple cider in a small sauce pan and simmer until it has reduce to a mere 1/4 cup. Add in the vanilla and confectioner’s sugar, stirring until perfectly smooth and lump-free. Set aside.

When the oil has come up to the right temperature, dip the delicata rings into batter one at a time, letting the excess drip off. Carefully lower them into the hot oil, cooking no more than two or three at a time, depending on the size of your pot. Let them cook undisturbed for about a minute before turning, flipping them frequently from that point onward to monitor browning. When the rings are evenly golden brown all over, use a spider or slotted spoon to transfer them to a wire rack. While still warm, toss them individually in the cinnamon sugar, if using. If using the cider icing, let the donuts cool just until you can comfortably handle them, and gently dip the tops into the prepared glaze.

Best eaten as soon as possible!

Makes 10 – 14 Doughnuts

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Ode to Soy

Pulp. By-product. Waste.

To describe the venerable soybean substance known as okara by any of the above terms strikes me as ranging from unpleasant to downright offensive. Though in truth, no one has ever set out specifically to create okara, it’s a shame that such a vital component of the whole bean is often cast aside, still brimming with unrealized nutritional and culinary potential.

If you want to make soymilk or tofu, you’ve got to blend some beans, and what’s leftover after straining out the liquid is fresh okara. Still packed with impressive amounts of fiber, protein, and calcium, it’s stunning that the stuff hasn’t spawned a new superfood craze of its own. Pitifully hard to come by on grocery store shelves, some metropolitan areas might boast Asian markets savvy enough to carry this uncelebrated soybean substance, but manufacturers are more than happy to help with direct requests.

I was lucky enough to take away a heaping helping from my visit to Hodo Soy and have only just begun to explore the limitless recipe possibilities. It freezes beautifully and has a mild flavor that can agree with just about any dish. One of my favorite simple preparations is Bryanna Clark Grogan’s okara parmesan, but with the new abundance on hand, I wanted to explore farther beyond the typical okara preparations.

Protein bars are always in high demand; a perfect snack or light meal on the go, their only fault can be excessive sweetness or secretly lack-luster ingredients. Not so of homemade renditions, and this okara-based beauty turns the standard format on its head. Based almost entirely on soybeans in a number of different forms and gluten-free to boot, it’s a delicious change of pace that won’t leave you in a sugar coma soon after indulging.

The following recipe calls for dry okara, such as you would find resulting from commercial production. Okara borne of homemade tofu is generally wetter simply because home cooks don’t have fancy machines designed specifically for squeezing every last drop of moisture out of the pulp. Not to worry; just plan on baking the wet okara on the lowest temperature possible for a little bit longer before moving on to the toasting phase.

Super Soy Okara Bars

1/2 Cup Creamy Soynut Butter
1/2 Cup Light Agave Nectar
2 Cups Toasted Okara*
1/3 Cup Roasted Edamame
2 Tablespoons Toasted Black Sesame Seeds
2 Tablespoons All-Purpose Gluten-Free Flour
1 Teaspoon Vanilla Extract
1/2 Teaspoon Salt

*To toast your okara, preheat the oven to 300 degrees. Start with at least 3 cups of dry okara to ensure there will be enough for this recipe, and spread it out in a large baking pan to a thickness of no more than 1/2 inch. Cook for 1 – 1 1/2 hours, stirring every 15 – 25 minutes, until lightly golden all over and smelling wonderfully nutty. Cool completely before using or storing in an airtight container in the refrigerator for up to two weeks

After toasting the okara, raise the oven temperature to 350 degrees. Line an 8×8-inch baking pan with parchment paper or aluminum foil. Lightly grease and set aside.

From here on in, the procedure is very simple. Place all of the ingredients in a large bowl and mix well with a sturdy spatula. Stir until the batter is smooth (aside from the mix-ins, of course) and don’t be afraid to really have at it. There’s no gluten to worry about it, so keep mixing until everything is fully blended.

Transfer the batter into your prepared prepared pan, spreading it out to fill the space evenly and smoothing the top.

Bake 15 – 20 minutes or until golden brown and surface feel dry. Let the bars cool completely in the pan before using the parchment or foil as a sling to lift the whole lot out. Slice into single servings and wrap with plastic for later enjoyment. Store in an air-tight container in the fridge for up to a week to maintain maximum freshness.

Makes 8 – 12 Bars

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Pumpkin Puree for Days

Mea Culpa; there’s been a terrible mistake. While every other year brings me closer to alternative squashes, embracing the less celebrated deep green kabochas and stout, pointed acorns, the overwhelming pumpkin mania has finally engulfed my kitchen as well. Beggars can’t be choosers, and when beggars accidentally order about eight times as much canned pumpkin as intended, well… One must learn to get on board with the pumpkin trend, for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

Luckily, as much of America is already well aware, pumpkin puree is not such a difficult ingredient to love. Whether it plays a starring role or disappears quietly into the background, its just as much at home in any sweet or savory dish. After a few weeks of pumpkin oatmeal, pumpkin protein shakes, pumpkin risotto, pumpkin salad dressing, pumpkin soup, and pumpkin butter, there’s a strong possibility that I’m already seeing the world through orange-tinted glasses. There are far worse fates to befall a voracious vegan, and despite the complete dietary takeover, there is always still room for more pumpkin come dessert.

So nice I made it twice, this is what happens when my classic Self-Frosting Peanut Butter Cupcakes grow up and take on a seasonal affectation. No longer nutty but bolstered by another cult craze, speculoos spread, the concept morphed into a full sheet cake, ideal for serving up at potlucks or big family affairs. Sweet and warmly spiced, the soft crumb is positively irresistible, even to those who have sworn off the old orange gourd.

On the second go around, when I found the stash of puree still not dwindling as rapidly as desired, a more wholesome, breakfast-like cake emerged from the oven. Replacing the maple syrup from the topping with plain water for less intense sweetness, that more subtle swirl paired beautifully with a hearty touch of instant oatmeal thrown into the mix. Consider varying (or removing) the nut, adding in raisins or cranberries, or go totally wild and swap in chocolate chips instead. As far as I’m concerned, there’s no wrong approach with this rock-solid formula.

Perhaps it wasn’t such a terrible mistake to supersize my pumpkin puree after all. I’ll let you know when I finally finish the stash, possibly sometime next year.

Self-Frosting Speculoos Pumpkin Cake

Pumpkin Cake

2 1/2 Cups 100% Pumpkin Puree
2 Cups Granulated Sugar
1/2 Cup Olive Oil
1/2 Cup Aquafaba (Chickpea Brine)
3 Cups All-Purpose Flour
2 Teaspoons Baking Powder
1 Teaspoon Baking Soda
1 Tablespoon Ground Cinnamon
1/2 Teaspoon Salt
1 Cup Toasted Walnuts, Roughly Chopped

Speculoos Frosting:

1 Cup Creamy Speculoos Spread
1/4 Cup 100% Grade B Maple Syrup
1 – 2 Tablespoons Plain Non-Dairy Milk

Preheat your oven to 350 degrees and lightly grease either (2) 8×8-inch square pans or (1) 9×13-inch rectangular pan, and set aside.

In a large bowl, stir together the pumpkin puree, sugar, oil, and aquafaba, mixing until smooth. Separately, whisk together the the flour, baking powder, baking soda, cinnamon, and salt. Once all of the dry goods are well-distributed throughout the mixture, add in the walnuts, tossing to coat.

Slowly incorporate the dry ingredients into the bowl of wet ingredients. Mix with a wide spatula until relatively lump-free, but be careful not to mix more than necessary.

In a smaller, separate bowl, combine all of the ingredients for the frosting, and blend until completely smooth. Add the non-dairy milk until the consistency is similar to a thick icing.

Smooth the cake batter into your prepared pan(s). Drop dollops of frosting at random intervals across the top, swirling it in with a knife or thin spatula until it more or less covers the entire surface. It may seem like too much frosting at first, but trust me: You won’t regret the small excess once you take a bite.

Bake for 40 – 50 minutes if using (2) 8×8-inch pans or 45 – 60 minutes for (1) 9×13-inch pan. It should be golden brown all over and a toothpick inserted near the center will come out clean. Let cool completely before slicing and indulging.

Makes 24 – 36 Servings

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Oh My Gourd

It’s not hard to understand the appeal: syrupy-sweet, warmly spiced, and redolent of everyone’s favorite morning cup of Joe, pumpkin spice lattes have taken off for plenty of good reasons. Add in their limited seasonal availability, and you’ve got a legitimate craze on your hands. What I have trouble wrapping my mind around, on the other hand, is why this same flavor palate has spread like an annual autumnal infection across the food landscape, afflicting everything from breath mints to hummus to moonshine, and that’s not even the tip of the iceberg. Don’t forget about the body care products, offering pumpkin spice lip balm to keep you in the pumpkin spice spirit even when you’re not actively consuming anything.

Pumpkin spice is a wonderful thing, but I think that I’m reaching flavor fatigue more rapidly than ever. At least, that was until I heard about the latest creation from Dandies

Well, I’ll eat my hat. Or another round of pumpkin spice treats, to be more accurate. A large part of this once humble seasoning’s success is truly its pervasiveness. No longer can it be ignored or avoided; one must either get on board, or get run over. Luckily, it’s no sacrifice to join the bandwagon with these mini marshmallows. Cinnamon leads in this well-balanced melange of spices, followed by more subtle notes of clove and ginger, but the blend is so successful that it’s truly a challenge to pick the individual notes apart. Soft, springy little pillows of fluff, they possess the very same delightful chew as the originals, but sport a dusty orange hue to complete the theme.

The temptation to plop a few of those miniature mallows straight into my steaming mug of coffee was strong, I must admit, but I managed to resist. Of course, I didn’t manage to resist shoveling two full bags into my mouth completely unadorned and in short order, but I’d like to think that there’s still more dignity in that approach, some how.

With my last remaining bag, I went into the kitchen and fired up the oven to do these morsels proper justice. As temperatures outside began to drop, the kitchen began to warm and fill with the heady aroma of brown sugar, toasted marshmallows, and yes, pumpkin spice.

Folded into a dense yet soft blondie batter enriched with a healthy dose of genuine pumpkin puree, most of the marshmallows seemed to melt while baking, but that’s not to say they disappeared. Leaving gooey pockets of sweetness, almost like a highly spiced caramel sauce, each void contained an incredible wealth of flavor.

The year, I implore you to leave the latte, but take the blondie. There’s no sense in fighting the incoming wave of pumpkin-treats this year, so we might as well make them count.

Pumpkin Spice Blondies

1 1/4 Cups All-Purpose Flour
1 Teaspoon Ground Cinnamon
1/4 Teaspoon Ground Ginger
1/8 Teaspoon Ground Cloves
1/8 Teaspoon Ground Nutmeg
1/2 Teaspoon Baking Powder
1/4 Teaspoon Salt
3/4 Cup 100% Pumpkin Puree
3/4 Cup Dark Brown Sugar, Firmly Packed
1/3 Cup Olive Oil
3 Tablespoons Aquafaba (Liquid from a Can of Chickpeas)
1 Teaspoon Vanilla Extract
3/4 Cup Dandies Pumpkin Spice Marshmallows, Divided
1/2 Cup Pepitas, Divided

Preheat your oven to 350 degrees and line an 8 x 8-inch square baking pan with aluminum foil. Lightly grease and set aside.

In a medium bowl, whisk together the flour, spices, baking powder, and salt. Add in 1/2 cup of the marshmallows and 1/3 cup of the pepitas. Toss to coat the mix-ins with the dry goods. This will help prevent them from all sinking to the bottom as the blondies bake.

In a separate bowl, mix together the pumpkin puree, brown sugar, oil, aquafaba, and vanilla, stirring until smooth. Once homogeneous, pour these liquid ingredients into the bowl of dry goods, stirring with a wide spatula just to combine. Be careful not to over-mix.

Spread the batter into your prepared pan, smoothing it out into an even layer. Sprinkle the remaining marshmallows and pumpkin seeds over the top, gently pressing them into the surface. Bake for 30 – 35 minutes, until the marshmallows are lightly browned, the batter no longer appears wet, and a toothpick inserted into the center pulls out cleanly. The bars puff up quite a bit while baking, along with the toasted marshmallows on top, but never fear! They’ll fall back down to a normal size once cooled.

Let cool completely before slicing into square or bars. For the cleanest cuts, chill the whole slab for at least 15 minutes and use a very sharp knife to make easy work of that sticky marshmallow topping.

Makes 12 – 16 Servings

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A Baker’s Fairytale

Once upon a time, in a kitchen far away, there lived a little baker. Day in and day out, the little baker would fire up the oven and punch out dough after dough, fearlessly conquering scores of wild yeasts within. All the villagers depended on the little baker to slay these fickle beasts, feeding the town and keeping it safe all in one deft thrust of the rolling pin. Years of practice rewarded the little baker with flawless, lofty loaves, perfectly soft and tender through every slice, until one fateful day when a stack of sad, half-eaten toast arrived at her doorstep along with a hastily scribbled note. Scrawled out in the uncertain, tilting print of a child, it read:

Go back to the old formula! We hate this new stuff. It tastes like wet cardboard and it’s so bad, even the jam slides right off in protest. Did you switch to GMO flour? Is it gluten-free? Whatever you’re doing differently, stop it!

The little baker was perplexed. The formula was the same as ever, simple but reliable, exactly as it had been when she first learned to tame the wild yeasts years ago. Perhaps it was the little baker that had changed. Growing weary after just the first few loaves, it became a struggle to keep the oven light on late into the night, as the wild yeasts grew restless and unruly. Slowly, almost imperceptibly at first, they were beating down the little baker’s spirit, draining her of all the magic it took to transform humble dough into delicious bread.

Crestfallen, the little baker mournfully shoveled the cold, abandoned toast into her mouth while whipping through every cabinet in the kitchen. Surely, there was a secret ingredient in here that could turn things around. The villagers all depended on her! Alas, nothing turned up; just the standard salt, sugar, and flour that had always been there remained in amply supply, and nothing more. The little baker retreated to her bed, falling heavily onto her pillow and immediately drifting into a strange dreamland…

Everywhere around the little baker, the air glittered with rainbow colors. What is this strange sorcery?, she wondered to no one in particular. It seemed to fill the entire room, invading her very pores, becoming a part of her. The little baker’s hands began to glow with a peculiar warmth, as though they were on fire.

The little baker woke with a start, panicked that morning had already broken and the daily bread still needed to be made. Had she gotten drunk on over-fermented yeast in that toast? No matter, there was a job to do, even if the magic was gone.

When the little baker stepped into the kitchen, she couldn’t believe her eyes. Sitting there on the counter, still slightly warm, was a golden brown loaf of bread. Surely, she would have remembered baking such a beautiful specimen, but the little baker was certain she went straight to sleep last night. It looked fairly humble, and yet there was definitely a different energy about it. The loaf hummed with potential.

Tentatively, the little baker wielded her sword-like bread knife and plunged it into the heart of this suspicious beast. As the first slice fell away, she gasped.

Swirled throughout the standard crumb, a rainbow of fairy dust had embedded itself into the loaf. Without missing a beat or stopping to lavish the bread with any sort of accouterments, the little baker hungrily devoured the first wedge in record time. Impossibly light yet satisfyingly chewy at the same time, it was a world apart from the sad, standard loaves she had churned out just the day prior. Sweet and slightly sticky in all the right ways, the fairy dust within didn’t taste of a rainbow, but it possessed an undeniably enchanting power, elevating the unremarkable baked good into something positively spellbinding. How it happened, where it came from- The little baker hadn’t the slightest clue, but it filled her with a new, indefatigable zest, impassioned once more to reproduce this miracle.

Even though the little baker never did discover the source of the fairy dust, nor create another loaf quite so otherworldly, her breads once more began to rise to the occasion; filled not with magic, but simply the little baker’s passion, the bread never tasted better.

(This loaf was inspired by fairy toast, and created in celebration of the 10th annual World Bread Day.)

World Bread Day 2015 (October 16)

Fairy Swirl Bread

1 Cup Unsweetened Non-Dairy Milk
1/3 Cup Granulated Sugar
2 Teaspoons Active Dry Yeast
3 Tablespoons Olive Oil
1 Teaspoon Vanilla Extract
1 Tablespoon Vital Wheat Gluten
3/4 Teaspoon Salt
3 – 3 1/2 Cups All-Purpose Flour

1/2 Cup Rainbow Sprinkles

In a small saucepan, combine the non-dairy milk and sugar over medium heat. Warm the mixture gently, bringing the temperature up no higher than 110 degrees; exceed that, and the poor yeast will all be killed instantly. Aim for around 100 degrees or just warm to the touch, turn off the heat, and sprinkle the yeast on top. Let it sit and become bubbly; about 5 minutes.

Pour the yeast mixture into your stand mixer with the dough hook installed, and introduce the oil and vanilla as well. Add in the wheat gluten, salt, and 3 cups of the flour. Start the mixer on low speed to combine, allowing a few minutes for the dough to begin coming together. If it seems excessively wet, go ahead and add the remaining flour, 1/4 cup at a time, until it mostly pulls off the sides of the bowl and feels tacky but not sticky. Let the dough hook knead it for about 10 minutes before scraping it out, kneading it briefly by hand, and shaping it into a smooth, elastic ball. Drop the ball of dough into a lightly greased bowl, cover, and let it rise for about two hours in a warm place.

The dough should more than double in volume, at which point you’re ready to punch it down and shape it. Lightly flour a clean surface and turn the dough out onto it. Either use your hands or a rolling pin to press it out into a rectangle. The most important dimension to keep in mind is the width, so that the final loaf fits comfortably inside the pan. Keep it around 8 – 8 1/2 inches on two sides, but roll it out as long and thin as possible. You may want to let the dough rest and relax periodically to stretch it even further. The longer you can make the dough, the more impressive the final swirl will be.

Scatter the sprinkles evenly over the entire surface of the dough except for an inch of one of the shorter sides. Starting at the fully sprinkled end, roll it up as if you were making cinnamon buns and pinch the finishing edge closed. Lightly grease an 8 1/2 x 4 1/2 loaf pan, and drop the rolled dough into it, seam side down. Cover and let rise again, for about an hour, or until the loaf is almost peeking out above the rim of the pan.

Preheat your oven to 375 degrees. Once the loaf is risen and ready, tent very loosely with foil and bake for 20 minutes. Carefully remove the foil at this point, drop the temperature down to 350 degrees, and bake for a final 5 – 10 minutes, until golden brown all over. Let it rest in the pan for 10 – 15 minutes before transferring it to a wire rack. Cool completely before you even think about slicing it, no matter how incredible it smells. Trust me, your slices will be much more fluffy (and less smeared with molten sprinkle filling) with just a little bit of patience!

Makes 1 Loaf

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