Oakland Archives - BitterSweet

Combining disparate items, bringing together high brow sensibility with low brow dishes, can yield unpredictable results. In the case of Tallboy in Oakland, CA, the output is downright marvelous. Though martinis and hotdogs may seem like odd bedfellows at first, and second, and perhaps even third glance, take a leap and try the pair together; you’ll get it with the first bite and sip.

Breaking it down to the base components, a classic Dirty Martini, served ice cold and with a strong saline undercurrent of olive juice, is an ideal foil to the hot, juicy, generously seasoned wiener. Both have hints of umami, simple and unvarnished, universally appealing and quite frankly (no pun intended), hard to mess up. Thankfully, at this dark and moody downtown lounge, they don’t.

From the acclaimed culinary duo Shane and Marie of former Lion Dance Cafe acclaim, you can expect a menu of bangers, which they easily deliver in a slim volume of approachable eats. Emphasizing the unexpected glizzy, everything is plant based (except for jello shots), offering an effortless gateway into meatless meals for otherwise unaware omnivores. Impossible dogs are at the base of each composition, convincingly spiced like the genuine article, further disguised by the battery of bold, inventive, if not downright whimsical toppings.

Soft, buttery, sesame-speckled buns cradle each savory creation. The Deli Dog appeals to classic sensibilities with a complete garden of pickled vegetables and a lavish drizzle of spicy brown mustard forming a tidy mountain on top. For more adventurous tastes, the Lion Dancing Dog is a must, as the namesake creation of this power couple. Sambal mayo sings alongside crisp cucumbers and crunchy fried shallots. Don’t discount the Cheese In The Trap, fusing funky fermented kimchi with gooey, slightly sticky American cheese. It’s a veritable and literal melting pot of flavors, as dog intended.

My personal favorite, which completely blindsided me, was the Chili Dog. A relative newcomer to the lineup, it’s a stunningly satisfying combination of new and old. Redolent of cumin, the chili is familiar yet novel, worthy of eating as a solo bowl. Thankfully, you also have the option of ordering a Frito Pie to do just that, which I’ll certainly take advantage of next time around. So rich and hearty, it doesn’t even need the optional cheese, despite the temptation to go all out. Unfancy and unbothered is the guiding ethos of this ballgame.

Don’t rush though the evening though; start slow, pretend you’re healthy at first and opt for a Wedge Salad that would be right at home in any upscale steakhouse. Delivering on the promise without deviation, you’ll get a solid slab of iceberg lettuce drenched in tangy blue cheese dressing and riddled with all manner of crunchy, bacony goodies. It’s perhaps the only fork and knife affair to be found, if you want to look more refined, for some inexplicable reason.

Otherwise, dive headfirst into the Potato Chips and Dip. Old school sour cream and onion has nothing on this cooling combo. The juxtaposition between crunchy, salty chips and creamy dip is far from groundbreaking, and it doesn’t need to be. It’s simply done right.

Another foolproof snack to balance out your booze is the Lion Dance Cafe Peanuts. A throwback to the original cafe creation, they sing with fiery chilies, makrut lime leaves, curry leaves, fresh lemongrass, and honestly, who knows what else. They’re famous for a reason, and that reason needn’t be fully explained to remain just as compelling.

On a budget or captive to more childlike cravings? You can always go in for The Classic hotdog, plain and simple, with optional mustard or ketchup, if your tastes skew in that direction. You can even order a straight up Nissin Stir Fry Cup Noodles for $4, so don’t say you can’t afford a night on the town. For the ambience, service and overall good vibes, that alone is worth the price of admission.

Feeling peckish but not quite ready to commit to a full dog? Feel free to avail yourself to endless free popcorn right around the bar, complete with nutritional yeast, seasoning salt, and ranch flavor shakers to sprinkle at will. Light and crunchy, always popped fresh throughout the night, it’s dangerously easy to keep munching and drinking for hours, which is exactly the point.

Martinis are highly recommended, with an expansive list of flavors and styles to chose from, though they are far from the only option. The entire cocktail program is robust, thoughtfully curated to appeal to every possible taste with a creative twist. Cocktails are equally well crafted for our sober friends who deserve more than a watered-down compromise.

Hot dogs and martinis are the new power couple. Like salt and pepper, peanut butter and jelly, coffee and cream, they belong together, no matter what anyone else says. It’s not that serious and a night on the town shouldn’t be either. Tallboy is the relief we need from being a straight-laced, responsibility-laden adult for just a minute, while still being able to imbibe like one.