BitterSweet

An Obsession with All Things Handmade and Home-Cooked


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Do or Do-nut

Bigger is always better, or so we’re led to believe here in America. Grande sounds good, but why stop there when you can get a Venti, or even a Trenta? While you’re at it, you might as well super-size that order, or just get your whole meal in a bucket when no other vessel is large enough to accommodate. The literal proportions of the situation can quickly get out of hand, but by no means is this a criticism- More of an amused observation. I fully accept my own guilt when it comes to pushing reasonable size limitations in all aspects, and especially when it comes to food. Though I’d like to think of myself as more rational, balanced, or reserved, it’s hard to deny when the entire volume of your largest suitcase is occupied by just one doughnut.

Somehow it figures that the single largest object to have ever emerged from my crochet hook would be a dessert. Coming from this sweet-toothed and food-obsessed crafter, what else could it have really been? Billed as a “floor poof,” I’d like to think that this creation is genuinely more functional than frivolous. Kick up your feet and use it as an ottoman; stack up some reading material to enjoy it as a side table; cozy up with it on the couch as a super plush pillow. Really, its utility is as expansive as its physical size.

What I didn’t anticipate was that everyone in the house would want to make the most of this enormous fiberfill fritter.

It should come as no surprise that dogs love doughnuts too. One four-legged visitor discovered that my cotton snack cake was in fact the perfect size for a dog bed. Seeing this sweet pup so happily wedged in the center, it was hard to argue that in this case, bigger really was better. Maybe I should try stepping it up next time and build one with a Great Dane in mind. It’s best to keep thinking big, right?

Pattern from Twinkie Chan’s Crocheted Abode a la Mode.


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Decadent Delicata

Hannukah is NOT the time to embark on some radical new low-fat diet. No matter where you believe lipids belong on your own personal food pyramid, oil is hero of this holiday, and the substance we all celebrate. From the oil in the miraculously burning lamps to the oil frying our food, the stuff has left its gloriously greasy residue all over this joyous event. This is the one rare time of year that we’re implored to ignore conventional nutritional advice and fry, fry again.

That’s not to say that just any old grease ball on a plate will suffice. Typical holiday fare turns starchy potatoes into crisp latkes and yeasted dough into jelly-stuffed sufganiyot. Dessert is where things get interesting, as the number of acceptable permutations for those requisite oily cakes hovers somewhere in the thousands. Latkes, on the other hand, are either right (however your grandma made them) or wrong (everything else.)

So on this occasion I throw caution to the wind along with another decadent treat into the vat of angrily bubbling oil. If there ever was such a thing as a “healthy” doughnut, laughable baked versions notwithstanding, it would unarguably be one made of a vegetable.

Inspired by their naturally alluring rings, simple sliced delicata squash stand in for the carbohydrate portion of the program, replacing the predictably dense dough with tender, subtly nuanced, pumpkin-like flesh. Far more flavorful than the bread-based default, it wins the battle for ease of preparation as well; the thin green skin needn’t be peeled, so just slice, remove the seeds, and you’re well on your way to an entirely new sweet holiday sensation.

Lightly battered and graced by a crunchy coating of simple cinnamon sugar, it’s hard to believe that such decadent treats are little more than plain squash rings dressed up in their finest. While you won’t fool any vegetable haters into confusing these for traditional doughnuts, you may just win them over.

Take it one step further still with a luxurious glaze of apple cider icing, redolent of the orchards on a brisk fall day. Reducing the cider does take a bit of patience, but every extra minute is well worth the wait. These dainty iced doughnuts are always the first to disappear.

Delicata Doughnuts

1 Medium (A Little Over 1 Pound) Delicata Squash
3/4 Cup All-Purpose Flour
2 Tablespoons Tapioca Starch
2 Tablespoons Chickpea Flour
3/4 Teaspoon Baking Powder
1/4 Teaspoon Baking Soda
1/2 Teaspoon Salt
1 Teaspoon Ground Cinnamon
1/2 Teaspoon Ground Ginger
1/4 Teaspoon Ground Cloves
3/4 Cup Water

Neutral Oil for Frying, such as Rice Bran or Canola

Cinnamon Sugar:

1/2 Cup Granulated Sugar
1 Tablespoon Ground Cinnamon

Cider Icing:

2 Cups Unfiltered Apple Cider
1/2 Teaspoon Vanilla Extract
2 Cups Confectioner’s Sugar

To begin, fill a large saucepan about 1/3 full with your neutral oil of choice and heat to 350 degrees.

Meanwhile, thoroughly wash and dry your delicate before slicing it into 1/2-inch thick rings. Clean out the inner guts and seeds by either scraping it with a spoon, or using small round cookie cutters to punch out the stringy innards.

Prepare the batter by simply whisking together all of the dry ingredients before slowly adding in the water. Whisk just until the mixture is smooth. Separately, stir together the cinnamon and sugar topping in a medium bowl, and set aside.

For the glaze, place the apple cider in a small sauce pan and simmer until it has reduce to a mere 1/4 cup. Add in the vanilla and confectioner’s sugar, stirring until perfectly smooth and lump-free. Set aside.

When the oil has come up to the right temperature, dip the delicata rings into batter one at a time, letting the excess drip off. Carefully lower them into the hot oil, cooking no more than two or three at a time, depending on the size of your pot. Let them cook undisturbed for about a minute before turning, flipping them frequently from that point onward to monitor browning. When the rings are evenly golden brown all over, use a spider or slotted spoon to transfer them to a wire rack. While still warm, toss them individually in the cinnamon sugar, if using. If using the cider icing, let the donuts cool just until you can comfortably handle them, and gently dip the tops into the prepared glaze.

Best eaten as soon as possible!

Makes 10 – 14 Doughnuts

Printable Recipe


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Dollars to Doughnuts

Name any day of the year, and I’ll tell you what food the calendar advises us to celebrate. National food holidays have become more of a joke than ever, despite never having serious credentials or origins of real significance in the first place. Every food council wants to get their edibles on the map, from soup to nuts- Literally. Celebrating these obscure occasions used to be a fun diversion, a bit of trivia to share and an excuse to eat something different, but now it’s just too difficult to keep up. However, there’s still one event that I’ve been celebrating since junior high, marking the date every time I put a blank calendar on the wall: National Doughnut Day. The first Friday of every June has been designated as a time to indulge in these sweet fried rings or spheres, and not just because the United Fried Snack Cake Board of America* said so. No sir, this holiday goes back to the late 1930’s, when the Salvation Army began giving out free doughnuts to soldiers who served in the war. There’s real history behind this joyous, delicious affair.

*Totally fictitious organization, but someone really ought to consider establishing this, don’t you think?

Happily, everyone can join in on the fried festivities now, war veteran or not. Although there are quite a few shops giving away free oily goods to mark the day, you can do so much better by turning to your own kitchen rather the drive through for doughnut satisfaction. A fear of frying puts many cooks off, but with a simple recipe and a healthy dose of caution, you’ll be rolling in hot, crispy doughnuts, fresher and tastier than anything else on the market. Cake-based doughnut holes fit the criteria beautifully: There’s no yeast that needs to awaken or dough to rise, no fussy shaping or cutting to speak of. You can just mix and fry at a moment’s notice.

One of the greatest benefits of fabricating your own fried treats is the freedom to flavor them in any way your heart desires. Chocolate is always a winning pick, one that I couldn’t resist for this particular celebration. Do you really think I would choose just plain chocolate doughnut holes, though? Clearly you don’t know me very well…

Hidden inside of each tender sphere is a gooey, sticky marshmallow, turning these average munchkins into one-of-a-kind hot chocolate doughnuts, inspired by mugs of hot cocoa topped with a crown of mini mallows melting on top. The crisp, sugar-coated exterior gives way to the most moist chocolate cake you could hope to taste, the marshmallow in the center adding equal parts indulgence and nostalgia. To further the “hot” part of the theme, cinnamon sugar or even a spicy, cayenne-flecked sugar could provide the finishing touch, but a simple, straightforward sweetness was exactly what I was craving.

Hot Chocolate Doughnut Holes

20 – 30 Vegan Mini Marshmallows
1 Cup All-Purpose Flour
1/3 Cup Natural Cocoa Powder
1/4 Cup Granulated Sugar
1 1/2 Teaspoons Baking Powder
1/2 Teaspoon Baking Soda
1/4 Teaspoon Salt
1/2 Cup Plain Non-Dairy Milk
1/2 Teaspoon Apple Cider Vinegar
3 Tablespoons Olive Oil

To Finish:

1 Quart Neutral Oil, for Frying
1/2 Cup Granulated Sugar

Before getting started on the batter, place your marshmallows in a single layer on a plate or small sheet pan and stash them in the freezer. They must be frozen solidly before going into the hot oil or else they’ll melt away completely! Allow at least 30 minutes before using your icy mallows.

The batter comes together very quickly, so first begin by pouring the neutral oil into a medium pot with high sides over set over medium heat on the stove.

Whisk together the flour, cocoa powder, sugar, baking powder, baking soda, and salt in a large bowl, stirring to combine. Separately mix the non-dairy milk, vinegar, and olive oil before pouring the wet ingredients into the bowl of dry. Stir just until the batter comes together with no remaining pockets of dry goods. The mixture should be somewhat on the wet side and definitely sticky, but manageable when handled lightly. Scoop out heaping tablespoons of the batter and stuff a single frozen marshmallow into the center of each. Use lightly moistened hands to shape the dough around the mallow, rounding the raw doughnut out into a rough ball and making sure that the marshmallow is fully sealed inside. Handle them gently, since the dough is very soft.

When the oil hits 360 – 370 degrees, carefully lower 3 – 5 doughnut holes at a time into the pot. Cook for 4 – 5 minutes, turning the doughnuts as needed to ensure even frying all over. The best way to tell if they’re done is to watch and listen to the oil; at first, it will fizzle up madly and seem to almost hiss, but by the time the doughnuts are finished, the surface of the oil should be much calmer, and you will hear more of a pinging sound.

Use a spider strainer or slotted spoon to lift the doughnut holes out of the oil and drain them on paper towels. Repeat with the remaining doughnuts. Let them cool for at least 15 minutes before rolling in the additional granulated sugar, and serve as soon as possible. Doughnuts don’t get better with age, and I wouldn’t recommend keeping them beyond a day. Luckily, with doughnut holes this good, I don’t think you’ll have any problem with leftovers!

Makes 20 – 30 Doughnut Holes

Printable Recipe

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