Packing Up, Moving On

Moving forward in life sometimes moving away, leaving the familiar behind in attempts to grow as an individual, and face incredible change, both good and bad. I for one have immense difficulty for change- As a creature of habit, I’m not a fan of surprises or the unexpected, be it in tiny details or huge differences. To be completely candid with you, I’m fairly terrified with change. The unknown always seems ominous in my mind’s eye, promising struggles and malaise, while I can clearly see how non-threatening the present is, contented and at ease in my comfortable home with my loving family. Of course I know that nothing last forever, and that I would undoubtedly tire of the same old routine sooner or later, it’s just hard to be handed this deadline, a deadline to grow up. Packing up my belongings for the trip up to the college campus that I can now call my own, I can’t be entirely certain that I really did make the cut off date.

Storing years of accumulated junk away in the closet and selecting only the most important craft supplies, I can’t help but come to terms with the fact that I am scared. I don’t know what to expect, and that terrible, empty, black hole where experience should be just sucks me in and absolutely petrifies me. Maybe it will be fine, maybe it will even be fun, but there’s no saying what might happen. Knowing only what I’m leaving behind, it’s hard to understand why so many other kids my age are simply chomping at the bit to leave for school. My kitchen, my parents, my dog… There’s just no way to take any of that with me, and certainly nothing to replace them with.

Letting a few pent up tears slide hotly out of tired eyes, there’s simply no way to delay this natural progression any longer. I’m ready to go, but only because I’ve run out of excuses as to why I’m not.

Please bear with me in the coming days of transition- I promise the crafts, patterns, and recipes will keep on coming, simply because there’s no stopping that endless flow of ideas no matter what’s happening in my life, but the next few weeks might be rough. The posts might be short, the crafts might be quick and dirty, but change happens… And hopefully, I’ll adjust to that change in short time. Thanks for reading this far and letting me vent today.

College, here I come…!

23 thoughts on “Packing Up, Moving On

  1. best of luck, Hannah! I have total faith that you will do wonderfully, and that things will go far better than you fear. hugs!

  2. you’ll do fine and whilst college will not replace the dog or home or family it will fill you with enjoyment and excitement which will take your mind off it. You’ll not have time to worry, and when you do think about them they are all just a phone call away. Sometimes I forget you are so young because your written word is so very well formulated showing a ballanced clever mind. With age you’ll get to not just accept the changes but relish the break from the norm!

  3. I’m exactly like you, with not being one to embrace change with open-arms. my first year of college away was terrifying, and terribly rocked my emotions in a negative way (although I could call/email/text my parents daily, there’s nothing like being with your family, in person) – which is why I’m so glad that I will be entering my second year of college, at a school near home. I know we’ll keep in touch through email, as we have been for the past few months; feel free to email anytime you need advice with how to handle the sudden change in routine – I look forward to hearing all about your time at college!! you’ll get through it!! :0)

  4. I’m sending wonderful, happy thoughts your way! Good luck with this new change in your life.

    I really enjoy reading your blog and seeing all the cute things you make. I wish you all the best. :)

  5. Good luck with the transition! Take a deep breath. (ok, lots of deep breaths!) Hopefully you’ll fall into a new routine in no time. You seem like you have a good head on your shoulders–you’re capable of much more than you think! Hugs and good thoughts!

  6. Aaah, so you’re becoming an adult and change is hard. But being an adult is just surviving a certain number of years. You were already mature and responsible. I just hope you never do entirely “grow up.” I love the youthfulness of your posts and your creativity that never seems to age. College is a change but I hope you will use it to your advantage and get the most you can out of the experience! Some people never get that chance, but I think you will handle it well as you are deserving of the opportunity. Realistically, some days will be better than others but there’s no reason why MOST of them can’t be good, right? ;) Go get ’em, Tiger! Your cheerleaders will be here for you when you need us!

  7. This is the first time I’ve commented on your site, although I read it at work every chance I get, and it always brightens my day :) I was surprised as well to find out that you are as young as you are since your website is so gorgeous and incredibly well-written.

    I just had to send you my best wishes as you head off to college (I just graduated a year and a half ago, and I miss it soo much!). It will be scary at first, but just remember that in a few short months, it will be “life as usual.” My friends from college are still my best friends, and I really miss having class discussions, being involved in all of the activities, etc. Enjoy it while you can- you’re a smart (vegan) cookie- you’ll be fine!

  8. I hate change too. But I love the feeling you get when the “change” part is over and you feel settled in the new. Does that make sense? It’s that in between awkward part that I cringe over.

    Good luck!

  9. Good luck, Hannah! You will be fine. It’s a big step. I felt the same way when I moved to NYC by myself for school.

    I love the dog’s sweater.

  10. Good luck with the changes! They seem hard at first, but eventually you come to love the situation. I imagine that a clever mind like yours will be able to find enjoyment quickly.

  11. Good luck!

    Think of this as a new adventure! You will be meeting new people and opening your mind and spirit to all kinds of new things.

    Take a few deep breaths and take it day by day. Remember you won’t be the only one going through these changes. There will be plenty of others feeling the same way!

    Pack a little something sentimental to remind you of your home/family. It might help to keep you going the first few weeks. After that…things will be back to normal~it may be a new normal, but soon it will feel good.

    I also cringe when it comes time to try something new. I enjoy being a creature of habit. Now, I try to vary things. It helps to keep things fresh and fun.

  12. Hannah,

    my little sweetie. Finally, after months and months of searching for your webpage, I finally cam upon it. My laptop broke down, and then the other computer I was using broke down, and well… I am sure you know the rest of the story.

    I have been thinking of you daily. Jenn and I always wonder how you’re doing, and we wish you all the best <3
    As for us, we are okay.
    Our poor angel, jenn, is in the hospital right now. She has been in and out of Proctor 2 at McLean Hospital (where I may end up soon). It’s been hard for her, but she is a damn good fighter and she has yet to give in. She is such an inspiration. She sends all her love.
    I’m doing okay. I hit some bumps after our stay in the hell-hole; I had a seizure and went into a coma, and ever since I’ve maintained a low weight- but been stable. Labs and EKGs all pass for an A+. I have been fighting tooth and nail to go back to Klarman, so I can regain what strength and life I’ve lost. After all, I want to visit you in college!!! Ahhh my wee girl is growing up so fast :) You never cease to amaze me, darling. You are so talented in SO MANY AREAS. I cannot wait until you see this for yourself. You are going far, my friend. Just keep truckin’. I love you to bits and pieces and I will stay in touch– I hope all is well and you’re treating yourself very well.

    xoxox, Sarah

    p.s. you can email me @ Update me on your life! <3

  13. Good luck Hannah, it sounds like you’re going through a bit of a scary time, I wish you all the best. You will do well and anyone who looks at your blog should be able to see how creative you are, with your words and your crafted creations.

    P.S I just wanted to let you know that I will always be reading no matter how quickly scribbled your posts are! Good luck again :)

  14. I’m with you, Hannah, I hate change. But I’ve found that oftentimes, it’s the unknown and the thought of change that is often much worse than the actual change itself. Hang in there … all will be fine. :)

  15. Trust and have faith Hannah. You will adjust, even though it may be hard. My own daughter will be making this transition in another 2 years and I know I have many more apprehensions about her being gone than I did about leaving.

    Good luck. keep the hook going to help you keep your mind busy!

  16. Hannah,
    I know the feelings you are going through and I can empathize strongly. You will get through this transition and coem out the other side a stronger person, more confident in your ability to deal with change. There is a book by Susan Jeffers called Feel The Fear & Do It Anyway (it’s one of the most helpful of the self-help books on coping with change and fear/anxiety). It helped me through some tough times and so I recommend it to you in good faith. Best of luck to you.

  17. Hannah-
    Never fear the new and unknown. The worst that can happen is it doesn’t go as planned so just move to plan B. I am 62 and just returned from my first stay at Proctor 2 at McLean. It was an awakening. So was college.
    The long New England winter will be here sooner than later and I am grateful to have found your site.All the best to you.

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