Moving forward in life sometimes moving away, leaving the familiar behind in attempts to grow as an individual, and face incredible change, both good and bad. I for one have immense difficulty for change- As a creature of habit, I’m not a fan of surprises or the unexpected, be it in tiny details or huge differences. To be completely candid with you, I’m fairly terrified with change. The unknown always seems ominous in my mind’s eye, promising struggles and malaise, while I can clearly see how non-threatening the present is, contented and at ease in my comfortable home with my loving family. Of course I know that nothing last forever, and that I would undoubtedly tire of the same old routine sooner or later, it’s just hard to be handed this deadline, a deadline to grow up. Packing up my belongings for the trip up to the college campus that I can now call my own, I can’t be entirely certain that I really did make the cut off date.
Storing years of accumulated junk away in the closet and selecting only the most important craft supplies, I can’t help but come to terms with the fact that I am scared. I don’t know what to expect, and that terrible, empty, black hole where experience should be just sucks me in and absolutely petrifies me. Maybe it will be fine, maybe it will even be fun, but there’s no saying what might happen. Knowing only what I’m leaving behind, it’s hard to understand why so many other kids my age are simply chomping at the bit to leave for school. My kitchen, my parents, my dog… There’s just no way to take any of that with me, and certainly nothing to replace them with.
Letting a few pent up tears slide hotly out of tired eyes, there’s simply no way to delay this natural progression any longer. I’m ready to go, but only because I’ve run out of excuses as to why I’m not.
Please bear with me in the coming days of transition- I promise the crafts, patterns, and recipes will keep on coming, simply because there’s no stopping that endless flow of ideas no matter what’s happening in my life, but the next few weeks might be rough. The posts might be short, the crafts might be quick and dirty, but change happens… And hopefully, I’ll adjust to that change in short time. Thanks for reading this far and letting me vent today.
College, here I come…!