Putting the “Art” Back in Pop Tarts

No matter how much I love to cook and bake, it seems like my efforts are rarely destined for my own mouth. Birthday cakes and bake sale cookies flood the kitchen in a torrent, flying out of the oven faster than I can slide more in, let alone snag a sample for myself. Not a minute to cool on the counter, they parade out the door to their various destinations, never to be seen again, along with whatever platter accompanied them. Though it’s funny to think that perhaps the recipients were so ravenous as to eat through the sweets and straight into the plate, I’ve lost more than my fair share of serving ware this way. Glass and ceramic slabs aside, the real loss is spare time in which to prepare food for myself, since dirtying more dishes or firing up the oven yet again are rarely appealing by the time meals come around after my usual baking frenzies.

Meals usually consist of simple things straight out of the fridge such as plain old veggies and fruits, or if the pantry’s goods are particularly alluring when I scavenge through them, the typical assortment of cereals and junk foods. Pulling these items from the far ends of the food pyramid keeps it all in balance, right? Well, don’t tell me if I’m wrong, because the convenience factor is often more valuable than the nutrition at this point. Running around madly to keep up with school, writing, crafting, etc, it’s good enough that I have enough fuel to keep running sometimes. In fact, it was my lucky day when I came downstairs for breakfast and saw a delicious looking toaster tart already waiting for me, unwrapped and clearly waiting to be eaten.

Well, I certainly didn’t need any further invitation (Lest the real owner of that treat return to claim it) and I reached down hastily without further though. Immediately I noticed that it felt different than your garden-variety hand pie, so I took a closer look at my newly acquired prize. Giving it a gentle squeeze to examine what sort of filling could be residing between these odd sheets of dough, I must have looked as though I stuck my finger in an electrical socket when I reeled back in surprise at what came out.

Good thing I didn’t absent mindedly shovel the whole thing into my mouth! Turns out it wasn’t a sweet snack at all, but a cell phone cozy instead! I swear, only in my house do such absurd possibilities exist! However, if you’d like such strange occurrences in your own home, you can now make your very own faux pop tart using the following pattern. Very easy and straight forward, even beginning knitters will find it to be a breeze to complete, with fabulous results. Although it won’t satiate your craving for sweets, it will satisfy your need to knit!

Please note that this pattern calls for color work called “intarsia,” and when switching colors the two strands of yarn must be twisted together or else the piece will not hold together, as many earlier crafters have found. For further help on color work, please refer to this video tutorial here.

With US size 5 straight needles and tan worsted weight yarn, CO 15 sts

Beginning with a k row, knit in st st for 42 rows

K2 sts in tan, switch to pink yarn and k11 sts, switch back to tan for the remaining 2 sts

Repeat this color scheme in st st for 25 rows

Starting with a p row, switch back to using only tan yarn, and knit in st st for an additional 5 rows

BO

To assemble, fold your long rectangle in half and sew up the two longest sides using a whip stitch. Embroider rainbow-colored bugle beads for sprinkles onto the pink area, or get creative – Try different decorations like embroidering squiggles for contrasting icing, or interesting beads for shaped sprinkles! With different colors and materials, the possibilities are endless! For extra security, sew a small snap onto the inside at the very top of the pouch, to prevent your phone from falling out.

Keep those phones warm and comfortable, but resist the urge to chow down on your new toaster tart! They may have plenty of fiber, but I’m sure you can still find a more nutritious breakfast instead!