Tag: salad

Terribly Toothsome

Sitting at the dinner table, surrounded by the familiar chatter of family, it’s the start of another ordinary meal. Your plate, piled high with a vibrant green salad, glistens under the soft tungsten light. As you reach for a forkful of crisp lettuce, a sudden jolt of panic shoots through you. Your teeth feel loose, wobbling precariously inside your mouth, as the urge to clench your jaw intensifies. With a sickening crunch, like a bolt out of the blue, your front tooth snaps off, leaving a gaping hole in your fading smile.

Horror washes over you as you examine the broken tooth, its white enamel glistening on the ceramic plate. Your heart races as you realize the nightmare has only just begun. One by one, tooth after tooth tumbles down, leaving a mouthful of jagged stumps in their wake. The once-inviting salad now seems like a grotesque mockery, its vibrant colors marred with the shrapnel of ruined molars and canines.

Desperation grips you as you try to salvage the meal, but every bite is a painful reminder of your crumbling reality. The lettuce sticks to your toothless gums, the dressing drips down your chin, and the once-familiar taste of food is now a bitter, metallic sensation.

The room around you fades into darkness, replaced by a cacophony of screams and the echoing sound of your own teeth clattering to the ground. You are alone in this nightmare, trapped in a world where even the simplest act of eating is a terrifying ordeal.

For anyone wishing to recreate this delightful nightmare for their friends, these “teeth” are easily made using your favorite vegan mozzarella or provolone recipe, set in a realistic human teeth mold. Go forth and terrify.

Hannah (BitterSweet)6 Comments

Be Still My Bleeding Heart

Given that there are over 70 organs in the human body, each playing a vital role in health and wellness, a strikingly disproportionate amount of attention is paid to the heart. I could easily name 50 songs about hearts off the top of my head but only one about the pancreas. Don’t even get me started about the number of idioms and common heartfelt sayings.

I’ve personally been told that I have a good heart, a kind heart, and a big heart, but I can assure you, it’s completely unremarkable, no different than anyone else’s. Here, let me show you.

Eat Your Heart Out

They say that vegans can’t be cannibals but it’s all about consent for me. I’d happily offer my heart on a platter to the right person, and that’s certainly not cruel. Perhaps I show my love differently than most? At least I make my affection obvious.

Grand gestures aside, my heart really is delicious, if I do say so myself. Velvety braised red cabbage, shallot, and apple intertwine in a sweet and savory gel, firm and sliceable, perfect for serving atop a leafy salad. Whole fennel and coriander seeds add a bright, aromatic kick, of course, but also a delightfully unsettling crunch every now and then.

Bloody Good

Beets are great for reducing blood pressure, don’t you know? Perhaps that explains this blood red beet velouté running through my veins. Buttery, silky smooth, with ample umami and a surprising kick of spice, it’s rich enough to spoon up like soup. In fact, a double batch of blood with diced heart would make for a delightful hot stew.

Eat To Your Heart’s Content

Perhaps the heart looms large in our imaginations because it’s actually this delicious, and we’re all just afraid to find out. Well, here’s your chance: Indulge your darkest desires and serve yourself a hearty portion. I promise you’ll love it.

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Hannah (BitterSweet)2 Comments

Crunch Time

I love cabbage. I don’t care how weird or uncool that makes me; I will never hide my penchant for these leafy brassicas. Look, I get the stigma, having historically been the food of peasants, the tragically poor and déclassé. After centuries of disrespect, I’d like to think I’m seeing glimmers of hope on the horizon for the humble cabbage.

That’s where the Crunchy Cabbage Salad at Loro comes in. For a place that bills itself as an Asian smokehouse and bar, they sure do know their way around the produce department. I was instantly smitten with their oak grilled snap peas that graced the menu over the summer, but this salad turned out to be the real sleeper hit. Arriving at the table showered with lemon zest, fresh mint, and candied cashews, the interplay of sugar and salt, crunchy and creamy, is exactly what makes it so compelling.

Gossamer-thin strands of shredded red cabbage intertwine with lightly pickled cucumbers and bites of tender green cabbage, sweet and mild, crisp yet somehow juicy. Coated in a cashew-ginger vinaigrette, the dressing has body from just a roasted cashew butter, preventing it from becoming cloying or heavy. Brightened by the fresh, raw spice and citrus, it’s the kind of condiment you’ll want on hand at all times. Go ahead, start mentally doubling or tripling that recipe right now to save the rest for later.

Loro keeps their secrets well, so I couldn’t get the official formula out of them. No matter; nothing will stand in the way of my love for cabbage. This is my take on the concept, with the added benefit of making about four times as much for a quarter of the price. Going slightly off-script, I found that smoked cashews add an even more compelling dimension, but simple roasted cashews would be equally satisfying.

Above all else, the real star of the show is the cabbage. Standing tall like fragile, tender greens never could, it’s a salad that travels well, keeps well, and quite simply won’t let you down.

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Hannah (BitterSweet)4 Comments

Radicalized Radicchio

I do not like radicchio.

Full stop.

Maybe that’s not the most enticing way to start a post about a radicchio recipe, but I’m nothing if not honest here.

Radicchio, miniature heads of tender red leaf lettuce, have a delicate, feathery appearance. They seem ethereal, soft as if they could float away, yet eye-catching for their molted mulberry hue.

Bitterness is not a bad thing in itself; it’s essential for contrast and balance in a dish, to fully appreciate sweetness when it rings true. The bitterness in radicchio, however, is something else. It’s bitter like a freezing rain whipping in a cold wind. It’s bitter like Ebenezer Scrooge before his encounter with three spirits.

Radicchio macro

How can you tame the bitterness of radicchio?

All is not lost when radicchio darkens your vegetable crisper. The secret is really quite simple:

  1. Cut it into thin strips or finely shave it.
  2. Soak it in ice water for at least 30 minutes.
  3. Drain and thoroughly dry.

That’s it! Like magic, the once biting acridity has been de-fanged. Now the question remains…

What’s the best way to cook radicchio?

Actually, that’s a trick question. While it is suitable for stir-frying, sauteing, braising, and roasting, I happen to find the milder version quite pleasant raw.

Radicchio Purple Potato Salad

Allow me to introduce: The Purple Potato Salad.

Unlike conventional takes on the concept, the potatoes are roasted with autumnal herbs and spices for a warm finish and crispy edges. It’s still all about contrasts here, with fresh radicchio providing a tender-crisp bite against the creamy flesh of purple sweet potatoes. More floral and fragrant than their orange brethren, they’re worth seeking out for a truly showstopping magenta masterpiece. Nutty, buttery roasted chestnuts round out any remaining sharp edges to the radicchio, coupled with the crunch of toasted pine nuts. Like any thoughtful salad, it’s not just a random pile of leftover ingredients, but a carefully assembled composition.

How can you make this recipe your own?

Think seasonally and you can’t go too far wrong. Other complimentary additions could include:

Radicchio Purple Potato Salad

Still think radicchio is beyond redemption?

Take it from a reformed hater: It’s all about proper prep. Anything can be made delicious with the right care and attention. If this Radicchio and Roasted Purple Potato Salad doesn’t change your mind, I don’t know what will.

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Hannah (BitterSweet)8 Comments

Cucumber Confessional

I love cucumbers. Full stop. People profess their love to many types of foods, saying they could eat them everyday and never get bored. I actually do; everyday, I’ll eat at least one whole cucumber, sprinkled with just salt and pepper, or dipped in hummus, or chopped up in salad. Tiny Persian cucumbers, large English cucumbers, plain pickling cucumbers- I love them all.

Why hasn’t this obvious obsession factored more clearly into my writing or recipes? It’s not interesting, quite frankly. I’m not doing anything exciting with them, just eating them in mass quantities. Even this idea that I’m here sharing today is far from earth-shaking. Barely the tiniest twist on a time-honored classic, surely it’s been done before. However, it’s good enough that it bears repeating: Make shirazi salad while summer produce is at its peak, but replace the tomatoes with watermelon.

That’s it, that’s the whole recipe. Adding a whole recipe card with formal measurements is really overkill when so much of the dish is based on the produce itself and personal taste. If I can be honest and break down that fourth wall for a minute, the recipe card is for Google. For you, I trust you can figure it out.

Consider the chopping an opportunity to practice your knife skills, to meditate, or simply revel in the aroma of summer. The minute you slice into a cucumber or watermelon, that aroma floods the air, setting the mood like candles for a romantic evening, only with notes of whimsy, sunshine, and a cooling breeze.

To anyone complaining about the amount of liquid leftover at the bottom of the bowl: Congratulations! You completely missed the point. That heavenly elixir, my friend, is a beautiful meeting of the worlds, the best parts of fruits and vegetables, sweet and savory, existing in harmony as one. Don’t you dare dump it out. When you pick up the mostly empty bowl, the only option is to bring it to your lips and drink every last drop.

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Hannah (BitterSweet)6 Comments

Make Pasta Salad Grate Again

Macaroni and cheese is the foundation of every childhood diet, often the first thing kids learn to make for themselves. Meanwhile, macaroni salad is the catalyst for every summer picnic or backyard barbecue worth attending. How is it possible that these two keystone American staples have never met before? The share the same beloved noodle and the same creamy consistency; what’s kept them apart for all these years?

Mind you, I’m not talking about leftover mac and cheese eaten cold, straight out of the fridge, due to sheer apathy or lack of energy. We’ve all been there and I think we can agree, that is not the pinnacle of culinary achievement the concept truly deserves.

This summer, let’s make it happen. Macaroni and Cheese Salad is the stuff of dreams, made in brilliant full color.

Like the original inspiration, it doesn’t take crazy ingredients, tons of time, or extenuating effort to make possible. Just some noodles, some cheese, and a craving to kick-start the process.

Enough noodling around. What is a macaroni and cheese salad?

It’s quite simple, really. Take al dente elbow noodles and toss them in a creamy, mayonnaise dressing along with your favorite cheese shreds, tender green peas, and a touch of fresh scallions, and that’s it! Like magic, the combination becomes increasingly irresistible overtime as the flavors meld and grow more harmonious. Like any any good picnic offering, it’s ideal for making ahead of time, sitting out like a champ all day, and tasting just as fresh as the minute you made it, regardless of the conditions. That means it’s also an excellent addition to any packed lunchbox for school, work, or travel.

What can you add to level-up your macaroni and cheese salad?

That’s an easy one, my friend. Think of all the things you love in either of the original dishes, and you’ll be golden. That means…

  • Rich caramelized onions
  • Crisp meatless bacon bits
  • Umami sauteed mushrooms
  • Spicy vegan pepperoni
  • Chopped tofu “eggs”
  • Wilted spinach or arugula
  • Fresh basil
  • And beyond!

At long last, this is the mashup the world has been hungry for, even if that need was never verbalized. Just show up at your next big summer shindig with a big bowl of this luscious pasta powerhouse, and you’ll be the guest of honor going forward.

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Hannah (BitterSweet)8 Comments