Category: Reviews

Whether you’re trying to slim down in a hurry, or just in a hurry, nutrition shakes are extremely popular these days. Precisely calibrated for perfect proportions of fat, carbs, and protein, they take the worry out of what might be the “healthiest” choice on a dubious menu, and are very convenient no matter how many activities you have on your plate. With these powerful drinks sounding like the cure-all to health woes, you might wonder why everyone isn’t guzzling these by the gallon. Well, the reason for reluctance is simple; The best options usually taste as good as chalk mixed into soured milk. Besides, who would really want to forgo so many delicious foods for a substitute that you can’t even chew? Since I’m no diet guru, I certainly can’t give you any further knowledge about the best way to get in shape, but I can tell you how I feel about incorporating such vitamin slurries into a standard lifestyle.

Since I’ve been swamped with work lately, it’s true that my meals have become progressively simpler, lacking proper time to assemble a complex feast. Eating basic fruits, veggies, and beans in their natural state is no problem with me, but snacks are another story. All too often I end up reaching for some sugary granola bars or greasy chips instead of something that might actually keep my focus at 100%. That’s why fortified shakes like Nutiva have begun to sound increasingly enticing, especially with a label that rattles off only organic, natural, and fair trade ingredients. This particular product comes in powder-form, with three different flavors to choose from, but for a little trial run, I was only able to investigate the Chocolate flavor. Delighted to have such an easy reference to less-than-invigorating but delicious shakes in this classic flavor, it would be easy to gauge the success of this healthful beverage.

Straight out of the package, I had high hopes for the dusty brown powder, already smelling strongly of cocoa. Stirring it into a cup of my trusty almond milk, I began to encounter some problems early on. Many dry powders have difficulty producing a smooth, lump-free drink, so I wasn’t surprised that this was an obstacle for Nutiva as well- Accepting that this was the way that most mixes work, I broke out the wire whisk and whipped it good. Working up a good froth, it didn’t take long for all of the bubbles to pop, and after sitting a mere 15 minutes or so to take a few beauty shots for posterity, the mixture had thickened to the viscosity of wet cement. No longer could it support light air bubbles even with the most vigorous stirring, but it certainly wasn’t watery.

Finally taking my first big gulp, it was almost jarring to discover that despite all the good smells it had earlier produced, the shake itself was shockingly bland. Only mildly flavored with something reminiscent of chocolate and not the least bit sweet, it was nothing like I had imagined. I felt like this huge glass before me was like bitter medicine disguised as something supposedly delicious, just like those “grape flavored” chewable tablets that really taste like chemicals and chalk. The grittiness imparted by the flax seeds didn’t help it one bit, either; While it should have felt smooth going down, it tickled my throat and left some residual grit on my teeth.

As unpleasant as it was, I can’t help but wonder if it could still be manipulated into a more palatable state. Perhaps if you were to use a different non-dairy milk, and add more sugar, and a bit more cocoa… But then again, you could just combine those three ingredients alone and end up with something perfectly refreshing. If you’re more interested in the nutrition values it has to offer then it still does have potential… But it’s really not something that suits my tastes, especially at the retail price of over $2.00 per packet.

Ask and you shall receive, as has been advised by so many before me, but only now do I believe that such a simple and obvious statement might actually be valid. What seems like years ago now, I had the luck to stumble upon some delicious pudding made by ZenSoy, and investigated some of their other products to round out my review. Offhandedly citing my find that their website mentioned an enticing cappuccino drink, I never dreamed that I might taste such a delight, as to my dismay it was no where to be found in local stores. Now, seemingly out of the blue, the director of marketing himself contacted me and offered free samples. Surprised but ecstatic about this sudden opportunity, I jumped at his offering, scarcely believing that such a serendipitous event could truly happen in real life. Seriously, I couldn’t have made this story up and sounded the least bit convincing, but there you have it!

Mere days later, a box so heavy that no amount of strength on my part could have lifted it from the ground arrived at my doorstep. Weighed down with pounds of soymilk, the most I could muster was a good drag through the house before giving up and opening it on the spot, revealing an amazing bounty within. Not only had a full case of my long sough after Cappuccino drink been included in this cardboard treasure chest, but also a half case of both Vanilla and Chocolate Soy on the Go. Deliriously happy, I paraded my loot straight into the freezer to chill as fast as physically possible, craving a taste right then and there. [For future reference, I might suggest they reside in the fridge for long term storage- My cartons only sat there 15 or 20 minutes, but much longer and they could very well explode, as I’ve seen many other bottled liquids do.]

Starting with the least alluring flavor so as not to set my standards too high, I reached for the frosty carton of Chocolate soymilk, straw ready to slurp. Now it may surprise some chocoholics that I might find this one the least enticing, but in my experience, chocolate drinks are either hit or miss. It’s just all too common that they become gritty, artificial-tasting, watery, or some unfortunate combination of the three. With some trepidation I swallow my first mouthful… And was so startled by the taste that I nearly spilled it all over my already messy keyboard! Never before had I experienced such a delicious cocoa soymilk; creamy and smooth with the perfect viscosity, it felt substantial enough to be satisfying without being the least bit unctuous. Distinctly cocoa-tasting, artificial flavors can’t even touch this sort of authentic sweetness.

On a whim, I popped a glass of this auburn beauty into the microwave for a minute or two, wondering how it might taste as a convenient, pre-mixed hot cocoa. Burning myself on the steaming liquid, the experience was perfectly reminiscent of childhood experiences. Just like the cocoa I remembered from even before my days as a vegan, this was sure to be the perfect remedy for a cold and wet winter day. Although I would never normally pick something like this off the shelves, I will definitely have to stock up when the snowy months roll around!

Plucking a chilly box of Vanilla out of the fridge, memories of less than appealing products haunted me once more. Although it should be such an easy flavor to replicate, vanilla is actually terribly complex, and it’s all too easy for companies working in huge batches to get the formula disturbingly wrong. More often than not, “vanilla” soymilk is almost indecipherable from the standard plain, but then there are also variants that take it way too far, making the flavor so intense that it tastes like you’ve just swallowed a full bottle of extract, artificial additives and all. Vanilla is truly a delicate thing, often drowned out by excessive sweetening, but even one whiff of this brew convinced me that ZenSoy would not make this the case. Light and refreshing, a sip lingered on the tongue just long enough to make a case for the flavorful bean, never overstaying its welcome. Miles better than I could have even hoped for, I would happily include this in any bowl of cereal or baking application. Surprisingly, I found that the carton was drained before I even concluded writing my tasting notes!

Having saved what I was hoping would be the best for last, I couldn’t contain my excitement any longer and finally plunged my extended plastic straw through the seal of the Cappuccino flavor. Taking a good, long swig, I must have lost myself in the moment, because it seemed as though I guzzled down half of the container before coming up for air! Lightly flavored with just a hint of coffee, I wished that there was a more robust flavor, being that I’m such a coffee addict. However, that faint whisper only made me want to drink more to chase that flavor down, making for a quite addictive beverage itself. A serious contender to real coffee house creations, this creamy drink is sophisticated enough to suit more mature palates, but I’m sure it’s light enough that even kids would be able to enjoy it as well. In sum, I absolutely adore this stuff, and I may just have to order another case or two soon!

Now, bear in mind that I almost never drink soymilk straight-up. Sometimes I’ll use it in my cereal, but more often than not even that job is done by almond milk, so soy usually is only found in my baking. Considering all of that, this is some high praise coming from my lips, but it really does deserve recognition. Not only is it a perfectly portable and even nutritionally sound refreshment, but there are few products on the shelf that could rival its incredible taste. If you’re looking for single-serve packages of soymilk, search no further – ZenSoy On the Go really is “the soy you enjoy!”

[Written for Go Dairy Free]

All things considered, I’m fairly easy to please when it comes to food. New, unusual, and even ugly food excites me, and very few flavors strike my palate as terribly adverse (with the exception perhaps of natto, which will never again be within a mile of my mouth.) Eating adventurously requires more than just an open mouth – An open mind is perhaps the most important utensil you could eat with. More over, I really don’t like speaking negatively of anyone’s long-labored creation, even if it were a machine doing the heavy lifting. Certainly I wouldn’t lie to please a chef, and you would be sure to know what I saw as its shortcomings, but I still feel that there are always redeeming qualities to be found in any dish if one looks hard enough.

If only the same could be said for this raw food bar I just sampled. Upon first viewing them from afar on their quaint little website, they seemed to simply overflow with potential. Eating raw really fascinates me, so much so that I would love to experiment more with it, since I eat a large amount of just plain old fruits and veggies every day. The only catch is my love of baking, not to mention the desire for hot food during cold months, so I would never be able to fully commit to such a diet. All the same, it has a wonderful premise and is clearly made with only the best intentions towards wellbeing. Not a questionable ingredient to be found on the label, and hardly any processing is involved either. Arriving in a neat little package on my doorstep, I was thrilled to dive into this healthy fare.

Their clean, plain, and thoughtfully designed little labels gave them a homemade sort of appeal, and I was ready to fall in love upon first bite. Sure, they didn’t look like the most inviting treat to ever grace my table, but appearance is ultimately of little consequence; I try not to judge a book by its cover. I opened up the Goji Berry Spice bar without missing a beat… And unleashed a terror the likes of nothing I had ever tasted before

Indescribable but intense, it was like someone had just set off a bomb of cinnamon and vanilla right in my hands, although the vanilla was so strong that it tasted more like alcohol than sweet, fragrant beans. Expecting to find a texture similar to Nectar bars based on their base of mashed dates, I was unpleasantly surprised to discover no chew at all, as dry crumbs seemed to just fall apart at the smallest persuasion. For some reason, all of the textures seemed to be at odds with each other, battling within the very brick itself; The sprouted quinoa was definitely the most aggressive though, as the tiny grains continued to find themselves lodged between my teeth in gritty protest. Additionally, because it was composed mostly of dried fruits, I had it in my mind that this would be at least somewhat sweet, but how far this was from the truth. Not a hint of sweetness was to be found, and instead a mild rancidity lingered on my tongue as I searched for any reassuring flavors. This was not the enlightening, healthy bar that I had hoped for, to say the least.

Reluctant to try the next flavor but determined to give this product a fair once-over, I moved on to the Spirulina Chocolate flavor, hoping against hope that things would improve. Unfortunately… They didn’t. If anything, this concoction was even more insufferable than the first, now sporting appallingly fibrous lengths of algae. If this was what they called chocolate, I definitely did not want to see what they would try passing off as a dessert, either. Unlike any sort of “chocolate” I had ever tasted, it wasn’t even as good as an artificial cocoa flavor! After the first bite, I stopped mid-chew and honestly had to ask myself, “What on earth am I eating?” Comparable to a clod of dirt covered in lawn clippings, I would rather go suck on gym socks than try this bar again.

And still there remained one final flavor, begging for one last chance. As your humble reviewer, who am I to refuse this poor, misguided product anyways? So down the hatch it went, and luckily the Green Tea Blueberry Mango bar, although long-winded in name, proved to be the most edible of the batch. Sporting relatively large chunks of dried fruit, there was less actual bar to get hung up on, and the fruit was able to speak of its own naturally delicious flavors. Still, the same alcoholic vanilla was present, as were those pesky mismatched grains and fillers. Compared to those other criminal creations, I guess I would have to say that this bar was my favorite, even if that isn’t very high praise considering all of its drawbacks.

I am really, truly saddened to have to write such nasty words, and I really tried to be as gentle as possible… But it clearly didn’t work out, and for my harshness I do apologize to the creator. Although they were made with only the best ingredients and intentions, something seriously went wrong in the execution. I just hope that this isn’t the full potential of the raw foods movement, because if it is, then I might have been sorely mistaken in believing it had real possibilities.

[Written for Go Dairy Free]

Riding the wave of increased interest in quality ingredients and foods in general, it’s such a pleasure to sneak less common grains and vegetables into everyday meals without them being considered so “crunchy granola” that not even a hippy would touch it. One of my newest and most curious friends in the exploration of wholesome edibles is the humble grain by the name of quinoa. Fluffy and slightly nutty-tasting when cooked, the tiny little spherical grains certainly give standard rice a run for its money. Just as easy to cook and even more nutritious, touting a serious serving of protein, iron, and calcium in every spoonful, I think that quinoa could easily become a staple on the average American’s table if only it were given half a chance. Sadly, this pseudocereal is still dreadfully underutilized even in the growing whole-foods revolution. I suppose you can lead a horse to water but you can’t make it drink, right?

Still, I’m not one to give up on such a great grain, and the best way to slowly ease it into the more conservative consumer’s diet is to introduce it in a recognizable form. This is why I immediately set my sights on Mary’s Gone Crackers, simple flat crackers that seemed agreeable to any palate, but utilized quinoa instead of wheat. An additional benefit of excluding glutinous materials is that these snacks are even suitable for those with celiac disease.

Touting 5 flavors in all, there is sure to be something for everyone. They all look pretty much alike. Dark brown disks in a large array of sizes, from the size of a quarter to the palm of your hand, allow you to pick just the right sized bite every time. Peppered with small seeds, but still flat enough to rival a sheet of paper, I was quite impressed by how sturdy they actually were. My first thought was that they would break instantly upon entering even the thinnest dip, but not a single one cracked under the pressure. Even arriving through the mail, hardly any broke in transport!

Starting with the most neutral of the bunch to get a good baseline on these circular snacks, I opened up the package of Original to be greeted by a most appetizing aroma. Not a specific, identifiable smell, but just the scent of hearty grains that I so crave. Crunching through the first few crackers, my mom actually came over from the other room to ask what that loud sound was! Seriously crisp and audibly crunchy, it was so satisfying to dig my teeth into something I might have previously imagined unsubstantial. As for the flavor, it was just your everyday, simple chip with a slightly toasted, nutty flavor, sure to please any party guest and get along just beautifully with any spread. If you’re looking for an easy way to get wholesome foods into a picky eater, a sure-fire strategy would be to serve these agreeable munchies.

Upping the ante a bit with the Herb crackers, my first bite was a bit shocking, like an herb garden had just exploded in my mouth. Once I got over the initial intensity and adjusted to the taste, I did find them quite enjoyable. For some reason, the package doesn’t actually state exactly what herbs are included in their blend, but it tastes similar to Italian seasoning; oregano, sage, and perhaps some parsley? I’m not entirely sure, but the earthy flavors that they impart immediately strike me as a match made in heaven with a pesto. Otherwise, the pizza-esque seasonings make me think that a contrasting tomato-based spread would really be fantastic, too. My only reservation about this flavor is that with such mature, sophisticated nuances, I don’t know that it would be such a hit with the kids.

Proceeding right along to the Black Pepper variant, I was a little bit disappointed at first to discover only a mild peppery taste, especially after such a powerful experience with the herb crackers. Munching onward, it slowly began to creep up on me though; starting as a tingle on the tip of my tongue, and moving to the back of my throat as a quiet after-burn between bites. Still, it wasn’t so spicy that it would be difficult to eat more than a few in a sitting, making it just the perfect amount of pepper. Each bite is a little bit different to give you some heat and then a break, too, due to uneven distribution. Overall a fairly benign chip, excellent with a creamy sort of dip to contrast the spice, these are still a fine option even if they weren’t my favorite cracker.

Feeling quite full at this point but continuing with just as much gusto, I was terribly curious to find out what the Caraway crackers would taste like. I never use caraway in cooking, so I had no idea what to expect. At first it was difficult to discern any individual flavors as there was so much going on at once. It was like a traffic jam on my tongue and I couldn’t taste any of them! Pursuing this elusive flavor, it began tasting more like an everything bagel, but only after really focusing my taste buds to get to the bottom of this mystery did I taste the cracker’s namesake. A very faint aftertaste of anise or licorice lingered in my mouth… and quite honestly, it wasn’t all that appealing. I’m just not a fan of either of those flavors, and I really don’t know what you might serve these with. You might favor this taste all the same, but it was one of the less successful varieties in my book.

Hoping I had saved the best for last, I couldn’t contain my excitement as I dug into the Onion crackers. Taking in a deep whiff, barely a hint of onion could be detected, but I still remained optimistic about the flavors locked inside. Although they weren’t strongly flavored as the smell suggested, there was still a vague but pleasant taste about them; not so much onion that you might ruin your date, but enough to add a bit of interest to an otherwise ordinary chip. Definitely munchable with or without a dip, these crunchy snacks would probably be the ones most likely to make numerous appearances at my parties again.

Overall I found these crackers quite impressive, and they definitely live up to the good name of quinoa. They make a good case for welcoming these unique grains into you home, whether you serve them whole or disguised as innocuous, delicious snacks. Don’t tell your guests that these enticing crackers are gluten-free – They’ll never guess!

[Written for Go Dairy Free]

Not too long ago, I learned through sampling a few wheels of Sheese that the world of vegan cheese isn’t a thing to fear, but a realm of endless possibilities instead. Those humble bricks held such potential that I’ve been chomping at the bit to see what other innovative new products might be brought to the table. Well, it turns out that none other than Bute Island Foods, the makers of Sheese, have taken the initiative and developed a whole line of cheesy spreads in addition to those solid dairy-free “cheeses” that turned me on my head. The only other alternative that I know of is Tofutti, so I was quite excited to get the opportunity to delve deep into this almost entirely untapped market.

Naturally, I found myself enthralled by the seemingly limitless possibilities contained just within this small category. Offering their shmears in a number of varieties, creamy Sheese seems to appeal to all palates, those timid and adventurous alike. With flavors ranging from the classic plain “cream cheese” to the curious “Mexican” flavor, I wished that I could have sampled all five.

Starting off with the Original to get a good baseline, my first whiff was as neutral as one might expect from standard cream cheese, possessing a slightly sour, astringent smell. Unfortunately, the similarities end there. Taking a generous knife-full, it had a strange sort of plastic flexibility, as if over-enthusiastically gelled with agar. Granted, it did spread nicely on my hot, toasted bagel, so this first impression was of little consequence. Cheered on by the consistency, I was pleased to discover that it was like the richest spread I had ever tasted. Unctuous and thick, it coated my mouth in such a way that I had thought only dairy could, but it became almost paralyzing to the tongue if too large a dollop was consumed at once. Nonetheless, I was once again let down to discover that the taste wasn’t all that the texture let on; With a distinct soy aftertaste and not nearly enough salt, I think I might ultimately prefer Tofutti’s rendition on this classic.

I wouldn’t count Sheese down and out of the fight just yet, though! Opening up the container of the Chive variant, I was still excited to see how the tangy spread would measure up. Admittedly, the appearance of the green chive-blotches somewhat reminiscent of mold was rather unappealing, but I certainly wouldn’t fault them for staying true to the nature of the foods they were dealing with. Spread on a slice of toast, I found the overall flavor to be quite mild, something that might be appreciated if sharing this with a significant other, but a little bit disappointing to the chive-lover in me. All the same, it would make a delicious addition to cucumber sandwiches for tea, or a fabulous dip a party. The light onion-y taste is sure to appeal to a wider demographic, and for those like me who prefer it more intense… Well, you can always add extra chives, too!

With my most unusual flavor still waiting to be tasted, I found myself hesitating. Horrific visions of artificial chez-wiz overcame my better judgment, and I feared that this Cheddar spread would be a vegan interpretation of that abomination. Truly, I shouldn’t have worried- This one was made with all natural ingredients in the first place. Initially unsure of how to serve this sort of spread, it was only after I settled on crackers that it occurred to me how nicely it might compliment a baked potato, or even a grilled sandwich. No matter, I was still pleasantly surprised to see that this version did not include the day-glow orange color, opting for a more organic shade of tan instead. It certainly smelled like cheddar… But the taste still left me wanting. A strong soy taste hit me before the real flavor could make itself known, and although it does have a certain cheddar-esque quality, I can’t say it was all that impressive. Not bad, but not my first choice either.

All in all, these creamy spreads were okay, but they really can’t hold a candle to the runaway success of the hard Sheeses. Bute Island Foods is an excellent company with excellent products to be sure, but these are simply not their strongest contributions.

[Written for Go Dairy Free]

Strolling through the checkout lane of my local grocery store after successfully collecting all of the items indicated on my shopping list, I can’t help but be drawn to the displays of impulse buys. By no means do I stick strictly to my list, frequently deviating from my notation to try out new products or produce, but these last-minute candy purchases are merely curious eye-candy to me. Trust me, this is less a testament to my self-control and more an indication of the dismal selection. Standing there in line as the cash register emitted a low chorus of beeps, it occurred to me that absolutely none of those candies were even plausibly vegan. Come to think of it, even throughout specialty stores far and wide, I had never seen a single vegan candy bar before.

Enter the Crispy Cat, claiming the title as “the world’s first organic, vegan candy bar,” and invented by the masterminds behind Tree Huggin’ Treats. Granted, you probably won’t find one of these in your hole-in-the-wall convenience store any time soon, but their mere existence is a huge advancement for all of vegan-kind. Each of their three varieties are composed of the same crispy brown rice base and coated in dark chocolate, explaining their crunchy-sounding name.

Clocking in at about the same size and weight of the average chemical- and dairy-laden candy bars on the market, they pose some serious competition to the traditional saccharine treats right off the bat.

I simply couldn’t stay away from the most unique combination of the batch, instantly snatching up the curious Mint Coconut bar without a moment’s hesitation. Fearing the worst but hoping for the best, an intensely minty smell hit my nostrils like a ton of bricks as soon as the wrapper had been removed. Taking my first cautious bite, I was slightly taken aback by how… Crunchy granola it was. In fact, it instantly struck me as an over-enthusiastically sweetened granola bar enrobed in chocolate. As granola is perhaps one of mankind’s greatest inventions ever, this isn’t such a bad thing, but the fibrous coconut pieces intertwining between clumps of crispy brown rice really didn’t strike me as a “candy bar,” per-say. Even with my serious sweet tooth, I found them to be tooth-achingly sweet, and began to feel as if I were entering a sugar coma after consuming only half of this one bar!

On the plus side, the chocolate is amazing. Dark, conservatively sweetened, and smooth as can be, bright accents of mint come through to add interest without overpowering everything. Luckily, I discovered that the coating could be cleaved away from the center easily enough, and enjoyed each component even more as separate entities. A great idea for a new, innovative flavor sensation to be sure, but perhaps not the best in practice.

After recovering from the brief sugar rush, I soldiered to investigate the next variety, Roasted Peanut. Excited by the strong aroma of peanut butter escaping the chocolate-covered candy, I wasted no time once it had been relieved of the protective plastic package. A swift chomp revealed a denser center than the previous, thick with nutty goodness and complete with whole peanut pieces. However, despite the amazing scent still dancing through the air, the peanut flavor was sadly lacking. Sure, the variety of textures from the smooth chocolate, crunchy puffed rice, and chewy innards worked together quite nicely, but where was the roasted, toasted taste I had expected? Comparing this treat to the Nutz Over Chocolate Luna Bar due to their similar composition, it was a close race, but I found that the Luna bar actually won over my taste buds, as it simply had more intense flavors and was ultimately more satisfying than a candy bar.

At this point, I was a bit more than dubious of the final variant, Toasted Almond, but gave it the benefit of the doubt nonetheless. I hoped desperately that this would be the savior of the bunch. Smelling only of chocolate, it was no surprise that the almond flavor was very delicate indeed, drowning in the powerhouse of cocoa surrounding it. Still, if these two elements were eaten separately as with the mint coconut bar, the almond center proved to burst with potential and be a delicious treat all on its own. Unlike the intense, sugary taste of marzipan, this bar has a quieter, more sophisticated, yet wonderfully nutty essence. Very sweet as always but accompanied by a good hit of salt and solid chunks of almonds, I would have simply adored this bar without the excessive use of chocolate. It’s good chocolate to be sure, but – I hate to burst anyone’s bubble – some things don’t need chocolate to taste good!

Clearly the palate is a subjective entity, because while these don’t really strike my fancy too much, they have won numerous awards from reputable sources such as VegNews. Although they do seem more like granola bars and are certainly more health-conscious than you average sugary treat, touting the fact that they are all organic, gluten-free, kosher, and vegan with abandon, they still do live up to the designation as candy. Maybe not a candy bar in the traditional sense, and probably not something that you would see average omnivores reaching for if offered their old favorites instead, but still a seriously sweet treat that could curb cravings in a pinch.

[Written for Go Dairy Free]