Wordless Wednesday: Happy Meals

Honey Chicken Waffle Sandwich with Bacon and Smoked Gouda
Original Acai Bowl
Stack of Pancakes with Fresh Fruits and Vegan Honey

The Happy Vegan
293 Bayshore Blvd
San Francisco, CA 94124

Phono Input

As a rule, I try not to play favorites. Whether we’re talking about animals, flowers, or food, it’s impossible to crown a winner across the board. Different moods and situations call for different preferences. No one thing is ever perfect either. Some might excel at one thing but fall short in another. I say this specifically with restaurants and bars in mind, as I’m frequently asked to weigh in. That’s why I can’t say that Phonobar is my all-time favorite… It’s just that the competition would be tough with that near the top of my list.

Established in the heart of the Civic Center, it’s a true oasis in the city. Rarely can you walk into a sleek, polished bar and feel right at home, as if your glittery high heels had transformed into fuzzy slippers upon entry, though I can’t find any other way to describe the experience. Intimate and comfortable, romantic and seductive, fun and casual; any of these descriptors could fit the vibe. If you want to dance the night away, there’s a sweet lounge area with open space to groove, especially when a DJ or band comes to play. If you just want a chill happy hour, sidle up to the bar or park yourself in the covered outdoor booths on a balmy San Francisco evening.

If you know me, you know my focus is quickly diverted to the menu. This is where the party really starts. Om Sabor is in the kitchen, crafting their distinctive globally inspired fusion fair, leaning strongly into Mexican and Californian cuisine. There’s not a single dish that would disappoint, but I’d highly suggest going for the Enchiladas, stuffed with black beans, to get a taste of their masterful handle on spices, layered harmoniously into every bite.

Soups are ever-changing with the seasons, but if you’re fortunate enough to get French Onion Soup as an option, don’t even think twice: Place your order before you even take a seat. Deeply savory, buttery, and with a hint of natural sweetness, meltingly tender ribbons of caramelized onions swim under the cover of soft bread and gooey cheese, all slowly melting together into one comforting spoonful.

Teriyaki Skewers are one of the top sellers, which chef Luis easily sold me on after facing decision paralysis given the breadth of choices. Thank goodness he tipped the scale in favor of these delicately strung strata of chicken-like protein and vegetables. Deftly grilled to ensure crisp, gently seared edges, it’s a true feat to have everything, from mushrooms to peppers, zucchini to meat, cooked perfectly together, glistening under the greenhouse window panels lining the far wall.

Of course, you can’t leave without indulging in a cocktail or two, or three if you’ve got a ride home lined up. Of course, for nondrinkers, zero proof cocktails (AKA mocktails) are far from an afterthought; these drinks are just as carefully blended, infused, and shaken, so you’ll never end up with another glorified lemonade. You’d barely wait a minute even during the busiest of times; they have the process down to an art and a science.

My favorite cocktail of all time, the Paper Plane, isn’t in the printed menu, but all it took was a tentative request for the perfect blend of spirits to arrive at my table. Balance is the word I keep coming back to, describing how well each ingredient compliments one another, never speaking out of turn or stealing the show. That isn’t easy, especially in the more complex, original cocktails developed and only found here.

The seasonal Walking In The Rain is a must for warm summer nights. It’s genuinely refreshing, light and restorative, gently sweetened with vegan honey, and offset with herbaceous cucumber-infused bitters. Should the weather turn cold, when the fog rolls in and blankets the streets, a Hot Toddy will warm you from the inside out, soothing like a hug from a good friend. There’s something for everyone, to take the edge off a bad day or celebrate a good one.

The fact that it’s all plant-based honestly feels like an afterthought because it’s such a natural fit. No one is going out of their way to force it into a box or cater to a specific crowd. It’s just unassailable food and drinks, in a thoughtfully curated space, that happens to be entirely inclusive on all levels. If you don’t go to Phonobar every chance you get, you have no right complaining about a bad trip. It’s a must stop for me every time I’m in town now, and the kind of place I miss when I’m gone.

So, while I don’t want to call it my favorite… I can’t think of another place that even comes close.

Phonobar
370 Grove St.
San Francisco, CA 94102

Boldly Austin At Bouldin Creek Cafe

If there’s one establishment that embodies the Austin ethos of “keeping it weird” while uniting a diversifying community that would otherwise pull in opposite directions, it’s Bouldin Creek Cafe. Since its inception in 2000, this quirky artist’s enclave has captured the hearts of locals, cementing its place in the city’s sociopolitical map. For travelers, it shines as a welcoming beacon, from early morning to late night. Given top billing in any credible guidebook, it’s a worthy pilgrimage for vegans and food enthusiasts from around the world.

Bouldin Creek Cafe left a lasting impression on me from the first time I visited Austin, many years ago. I’ll never forget that meal shared with friends following Vida Vegan Con, watching everyone pull out their cameras as the orders arrived, feeling like I finally found my tribe. It was the first place I came back to after moving in, with pots and pans still packed away, cupboards yawning open with not a single can of beans to share. It’s where I’ve had countless dates, business meetings, solo meals, celebrations, and somber evenings. If you’re part of my life in a physical sense, we have or will inevitably spend time here together.

Always vegetarian with equivalent vegan options whenever a dish isn’t already plant-based to begin with, it’s one of the last surviving “old school” kitchens that makes veggie burgers from scratch- and actual veggies. There’s no Impossible or Beyond, no shortcuts or cheap tricks. Personally, I can’t leave without ordering something with tofu scramble, a classic take on crumbled and sauteed curds, thickly encrusted with cheesy, umami nutritional yeast. Making a truly exceptional tofu scramble is a dying art, but it’s alive and well here, executed at the highest level.

The beauty of the iconic tofu scramble is that it’s wonderful as a standalone entree, and even greater as part of larger plate. Zucchini migas folds fresh veggies and tortilla chips in with a spicy salsa, while Joe’s smokin’ “omelet” incorporates sauteed spinach with chipotle-pecan pesto. Sides aren’t a side thought, especially when it comes to the blueberry cornbread, served up in sizeable slabs so sweet and tender, you could easily satisfy cake cravings for breakfast.

More than once, I’ve witnessed rigid eaters soften their stance toward vegan food, embracing a meal without meat as a welcome change of pace, rather than a sacrifice. I’ve seen strangers connect over cashew queso, pups on the patio begging for hash browns, toddlers gleefully stuffing fistfuls of pasta into their mouths while somehow managing to wear the majority of it. Students hunch over coffees in tables next to couples dressed to the nines, kicking off a night on the town. It’s truly the crossroads of humanity, the universal answer to: Where should we eat today?

Bouldin Creek Cafe. It’s always the right choice.

Fast Food Survival Guide, Vegan Style

Fast food is frequently scorned for serving vast amounts of empty calories to those most susceptible to the temptation, and yet, it not only persists, but continues to thrive. The fact of the matter is that fast food, specifically designed to be hyper-palatable by hitting all the pleasure centers of the brain for salt, fat, and sugar, is the definition of comfort food. Love it or hate it, it speaks to human nature and the desire to eat what tastes good, sometimes to the detriment of health and harmony.

Why Should Anyone Care About Fast Food?

While I didn’t grow up eating fast food nor did I seek it out as an adolescent, it still holds a strange intrigue, if only because it’s omnipresent no matter where I go. There will almost always be a better option nearby, especially in a big city where restaurants flourish in abundance and diversity, but that isn’t the case across the board.

  • Sometimes in food deserts, on road trips, or simply stranded out in middle America, you’re lucky enough to find a place serving food that isn’t shrink-wrapped and shelf stable.
  • Maybe it’s a crime of convenience, if you’re without proper transportation and can only travel on foot to the nearest strip mall. Let’s not forget that these quick service establishments tend to be most accessible in under served neighborhoods, where public transit may or may not connect.
  • It could very well be that you’re working the night shift, leaving few sit-down restaurants with the lights on when you finally clock out. Many chains are open into the AM hours, with some returning to a full 24/7 model.

While I wouldn’t advocate for making fast food a regular staple, it does serve a purpose. There’s a time and a place where it makes sense, so the key is learning how to make it work for you.

Eating Vegan At Fast Food Restaurants

Vegan meals will always be limited at best at nationwide chains, but slow advances in awareness and shifting market demands have brought us better options in many ways. Each establishment will have their own unique way of processing foods, ingredients, and possible contaminants, so it’s essential to research further information when in doubt. As a general guideline, here’s what you can expect when getting vegan fast food from most American chains.

  • French fries: Yes, of course, the dependable, omnipresent fried potato. They’re a staple for any place serving burgers and are typically just spuds, oil, and salt.
    • Pitfalls: Frying oil is typically shared with non-vegan ingredients, such as battered items that contain dairy or eggs, and meat or fish as well. If allergies are a concern, this would be off the menu. In rare cases, such as McDonald’s, the fries may be cooked in beef tallow or oil that has added beef extract for flavor.
  • Hash browns: Just another form of crispy potato, this is one you can eat for breakfast! Get creative and ask for them on a sandwich instead of a burger patty, topped with vegetables and ketchup if you’d like, to make it more of a meal.
    • Pitfalls: Breakfast is often served only until 10 or 11am, so you’ll have limited opportunities to take advantage of these ‘taters. They share the same other issues with French fries regarding cross-contamination and potential beef additives in rare instances.
  • Salad: Don’t expect a lush, fresh combination of flavorful vegetables, legumes, and healthy fats, but it’s nice to just get some greens on the go. Basic iceberg, carrot shreds, and cherry tomatoes are about the extent of it.
    • Pitfalls: Always ask to remove the cheese and croutons, and avoid all creamy dressings. Balsamic vinaigrette is your best friend! Italian might do the trick, but sometimes includes Parmesan cheese, too.

    • Burgers: Thanks to the widespread acceptance of Impossible and Beyond Meat, plant based burgers have become more common. Look for them at Burger King, Carl’s Junior, White Castle, among  many others.
      • Pitfalls: Always ask for these burgers without cheese and mayonnaise which sometimes come as the default build. Again, they’re cooked on shared surfaces and could end up containing small amounts of animal products by accident. If you’re concerned and ask very nicely, some places may microwave your meatless meal separately.
      • Additionally, some old school vegetarian “veggie burgers” are still made with eggs or cheese mixed directly into the patty. When faced with protein made in-house or from an unknown brand, always ask for more information to get the full ingredient list.
      • The buns may be another cause for concern. They may contain eggs and dairy, and while some establishments may be able to offer you a different type of sliced bread without animal products, there are no promises. Again, when in doubt, ask for your burger wrapped in lettuce, on a bed of lettuce, or just naked.

  • Hot and cold beverages: Drink up! Most choices on the soda fountain will be refreshingly worry-free. Soda, lemonade, iced tea, and of course water are perfectly fine for sweet hydration. Black coffee, without creamer, is clutch for an early morning visit.
    • Pitfalls: The Coca Cola company has confirmed that all their soda options are free of animal products and derivatives. However, Pepsi is much less forthcoming about their ingredients and can only confirm that original Pepsi and Pepsi Max are completely vegan.
  • Fruit: Don’t expect an array of lush, seasonal cut fruits, but you can finish your meal with a healthy dose of unrefined sugar through cut apple slices or applesauce in most cases.
    • Pitfalls: None! There’s no prep and it’s typically a single-ingredient situation. Apples are cheap and abundant, so you can count on them to be available in most places.

Best National Vegan Fast Food Restaurants

Given the luxury of choice, there are many better places to stop for plant-based meals. Taking only classic burger joints into consideration, many more upscale chains will offer a wealth of more flavorful, creative, and health-conscious options. It would be impossible to cover all of them, but a few of my favorites include:

Next Level Burger

Found inside of Whole Foods Markets across the country, this 100% plant-based burger joint is making waves. You can get everything from a classic cheeseburger to a fanciful Blue BBQ Burger, Ghost Pepper Popper Burger, and more. Don’t forget the dairy-free shakes, blended up in 8 to 10 different flavors.

Veggie Grill

From the vast array of completely vegan bowls, sandwiches, salads, and sides, the burger remains an irreplaceable best seller, with options for a Beyond patty or house-made black bean and mushroom mixture. I’d always stop at Veggie Grill if they could expand to cover more of the country! For now, they remain stationed in California, Oregon, Washington, Massachusetts, and New York.

Umami Burger

Though no longer the transcendent, truffled experience it once was, Umami still offers the Impossible Burger to swap in for any other build. I’m sad that the menu has changed and no longer includes vegan cheese, aioli, or milkshakes, but they do proper justice to the patty with a skillful sear, at least. Plus, their thin fries are some of the best around; order two, especially if you’re sharing, since a single serving is tiny.

Fast food shouldn’t necessarily be synonymous with bad food. Depending on the time, place, and circumstances, it may just be the best sustenance you can get. To keep it vegan, you just need to remain calm, carry on, and be unafraid to ask questions.