For the longest time, I was one of those snobby knitters, who refused to accept crochet into the spectrum of yarn-arts, and was absolutely repulsed to discover that a pattern I had just been drooling over, was in fact crochet. Out of no where, it seemed like everywhere I turned, the crochet patterns I found were actually just… lovely. And it only became harder to stay firm in my belief that knitting was the only way to go once I discovered amigurumi.
Don’t misunderstand I love knitting to death and I like to think that it is my soul’s true crafty calling, but even an old dog can learn new tricks, right?! So, instead of ogling more lovely crochet and cursing the craft because I simply can’t follow it, I decided to get off my ass and learn for once and for all.
Unfortunately, this occurred while I was rotting away in that shitty hospital, with no instructions or people to help. I had no clue what the hell I was doing with my little aluminum hook. My Nana came to visit once and showed me a scallop stitch, (Way to scare the crap out of me! I didn’t follow any of it!) but that only left me making what I call “finger hats.” Trying to crochet in a circle, I end up with a curled edge and a half-egg sort of shape, which could have made lovely little finger puppets, I suppose. Nonetheless… that had not been what I was hoping to make. And for a while, it was my end product every single time.
Finally, after a week or two of bullshitting around like that, I realized that needed to actually increase to keep it from curving under. What a novel idea! So here is what I finally made; My very first crocheted piece!
Fried eggs, anyone?
I was completely ecstatic – I had really learned how to crochet on my own! But upon closer look… the stitches don’t look quite right. That’s because… they aren’t really single crochet.
Damn! I think I may have been making slip-stitches all the way around instead!
Thankfully, I was finally able to purchase The Happy Hooker by Debbie Stoller, so now I can see the error in my.. er, egg. I have never laid eyes on more comprehensive instructions or attractive glossy photos. I want to make every single pattern in that book, despite my nonexistent skill level at crochet. Honestly though, I would have never figured it out at all without this godly piece of writing, and I highly, highly recommend it to every one else out there… Even knitters.