Oat Yeah
Once an undistinguished pantry staple, oats have seen one of the greatest glow-ups of our time. As we navigate an era increasingly focused on sustainable, whole foods, oats are not just for breakfast anymore—they’ve become a versatile building block for culinary creativity, essential throughout all meals.
Historically, oats have been a mainstay in the diets of various cultures for centuries. However, originally cultivated in the cooler climates of Europe, they were often deemed fit only for livestock. It wasn’t until the 18th century that oats began to find their place in human cuisine, with recipes ranging from hearty porridge to oatcakes. Fast forward to today, and these grains are celebrated not only for their rich, nutty flavor, but also for their nutritional prowess. In a forbidding landscape of food allergies and dietary restrictions, oats offer a safe haven for all to partake.
In addition to their health benefits, oats have sparked a wave of food innovations. There’s nothing they can’t do, from creamy risottos to decadent frozen desserts, showcasing their adaptability at every turn. Beyond the kitchen, the rise of oat milk has revolutionized the beverage industry, providing a creamy, dairy-free alternative that’s both eco-friendly and delicious. The fact that it’s now the default milk of choice in many coffee shops, even offered before dairy milk, speaks volumes.
There’s no such thing as having too many oats. Should you find yourself with a sizable stockpile, I have just the recipe (or 25) for you.
Get A Cobb On
Salads shouldn’t just be a side dish or an after thought. Down with wilted iceberg lettuce and stale croutons! I’m all about those hefty, fully loaded meal salads that have tons of color, texture, and flavor going on. The classic Cobb is a good example of that, traditionally piled high with meats, cheese, and eggs. On top of my obvious vegan conversions, I wanted to take a more seasonal approach for a new, novel Autumn Cobb Salad.
Vegan Innovations
To start with the vegan adaptations, we can replace traditional proteins with plant-based alternatives that not only complement the dish but enhance it. Instead of crispy bacon, consider using pecans seasoned with a smoky flavor to provide that quintessential crunch. Hard-boiled eggs can be swapped out for hearty, diced potatoes, seasoned with sulfurous kala namak, which lend a satisfying creaminess without sacrificing substance. For the chicken, chickpeas are an excellent choice, adding protein and a nutty flavor that ties the salad together.
Seasonal Swaps
Seasonality is the secret ingredient that can transform an ordinary salad into something truly special. In this fall feature, pomegranate arils take the place of conventional tomatoes, infusing each bite with a burst of sweetness and vibrant color. Instead of the typical scallions or chives, opt for pickled onions. Their tangy crunch elevates the flavor profile and adds depth.
When it comes to greens, we’re turning to shredded collard greens instead of the usual lettuce. This hearty green not only provides a more robust texture but also aligns perfectly with the season’s bounty. Finally, rather than dressing the salad with traditional ranch, a maple-balsamic vinaigrette introduces a balance of sweetness and acidity, capturing the essence of fall in every drop.
Timeless Staples
Even amidst these changes, there are certain staples that remain unassailable. Creamy avocado adds richness to the dish, while a sprinkle of vegan blue cheese, store-bought or homemade, provides that unmistakable funk, rounding out the flavor experience perfectly.
Salad Days Are Here Again
Salads can be so much more than an afterthought. With a little creativity and a focus on seasonal ingredients, they can take center stage as a nourishing, satisfying meal. Say goodbye to the wilted greens of the past and hello to a vibrant, fully loaded salad that you’ll want to dig into all autumn long.
Wordless Wednesday: Pumpkin Night
Terribly Toothsome
Sitting at the dinner table, surrounded by the familiar chatter of family, it’s the start of another ordinary meal. Your plate, piled high with a vibrant green salad, glistens under the soft tungsten light. As you reach for a forkful of crisp lettuce, a sudden jolt of panic shoots through you. Your teeth feel loose, wobbling precariously inside your mouth, as the urge to clench your jaw intensifies. With a sickening crunch, like a bolt out of the blue, your front tooth snaps off, leaving a gaping hole in your fading smile.
Horror washes over you as you examine the broken tooth, its white enamel glistening on the ceramic plate. Your heart races as you realize the nightmare has only just begun. One by one, tooth after tooth tumbles down, leaving a mouthful of jagged stumps in their wake. The once-inviting salad now seems like a grotesque mockery, its vibrant colors marred with the shrapnel of ruined molars and canines.
Desperation grips you as you try to salvage the meal, but every bite is a painful reminder of your crumbling reality. The lettuce sticks to your toothless gums, the dressing drips down your chin, and the once-familiar taste of food is now a bitter, metallic sensation.
The room around you fades into darkness, replaced by a cacophony of screams and the echoing sound of your own teeth clattering to the ground. You are alone in this nightmare, trapped in a world where even the simplest act of eating is a terrifying ordeal.
For anyone wishing to recreate this delightful nightmare for their friends, these “teeth” are easily made using your favorite vegan mozzarella or provolone recipe, set in a realistic human teeth mold. Go forth and terrify.
Be Still My Bleeding Heart
Given that there are over 70 organs in the human body, each playing a vital role in health and wellness, a strikingly disproportionate amount of attention is paid to the heart. I could easily name 50 songs about hearts off the top of my head but only one about the pancreas. Don’t even get me started about the number of idioms and common heartfelt sayings.
I’ve personally been told that I have a good heart, a kind heart, and a big heart, but I can assure you, it’s completely unremarkable, no different than anyone else’s. Here, let me show you.
Eat Your Heart Out
They say that vegans can’t be cannibals but it’s all about consent for me. I’d happily offer my heart on a platter to the right person, and that’s certainly not cruel. Perhaps I show my love differently than most? At least I make my affection obvious.
Grand gestures aside, my heart really is delicious, if I do say so myself. Velvety braised red cabbage, shallot, and apple intertwine in a sweet and savory gel, firm and sliceable, perfect for serving atop a leafy salad. Whole fennel and coriander seeds add a bright, aromatic kick, of course, but also a delightfully unsettling crunch every now and then.
Bloody Good
Beets are great for reducing blood pressure, don’t you know? Perhaps that explains this blood red beet velouté running through my veins. Buttery, silky smooth, with ample umami and a surprising kick of spice, it’s rich enough to spoon up like soup. In fact, a double batch of blood with diced heart would make for a delightful hot stew.
Eat To Your Heart’s Content
Perhaps the heart looms large in our imaginations because it’s actually this delicious, and we’re all just afraid to find out. Well, here’s your chance: Indulge your darkest desires and serve yourself a hearty portion. I promise you’ll love it.