Can You Hakka It?

Long before the rise (and fall) of so-called “fusion” cuisine, Hakka noodles managed to carve out a special place for themselves in Indo-Chinese culture. Seen only on some northern Indian menus, these noodles have transcended geopolitical boundaries to become a beloved staple by people of all walks of life.

The Origins of Hakka Noodles

Hakka noodles trace their roots back to the Hakka people, also referred to as the Hakka Han or Hakka Chinese. Unlike other Chinese communities, the Hakka Han don’t all come from one single region in China. The name Hakka means “guest families” in Cantonese. Made up of migrants fleeing the wars and upheaval during the Qing dynasty, they gradually dispersed and settled across the Indian subcontinent.

The city of Kolkata (formerly Calcutta) in India became the new home to many of these displaced refugees and over time, their vibrant fusion of Chinese techniques and Indian flavors were adopted as iconic, beloved street food dishes in India and beyond.

What Makes Hakka Noodles Special

Hakka noodles stand out from their other noodle brethren due to their distinctive texture and flavor. Made from a dense wheat flour dough, the strands are thin and long, with a remarkably resilient, springy, and chewy bite.

Sweet soy sauce is the primary flavor, leaning in on aromatic garlic and ginger, rather than the potent spices that create dazzling Indian curries. Due to their lack of overt heat, some consider Hakka noodles to be something relegated to the kid’s menu, but to let only youngsters relish this simple pleasure would be a true shame. They serve as a blank canvas, readily absorbing the flavors of any ingredients you throw at them.

Serving Suggestions for Hakka Noodles

Thanks to the long history of vegetarianism in India, paired with the expense and scarcity of meat, most recipes are naturally plant-based. Any vegetables available are fair game, but the most common additions include:

  • Bell peppers
  • Cabbage
  • Shredded carrots
  • Scallions
  • Bean sprouts

If such a mild approach sounds dull to you, you’re not alone. That’s why you’d very likely find fiery condiments table side to add to taste, such as:

Hakka Noodles; Always A Welcome Guest

To this day, you can often find Hakka noodles being prepared on sizzling street-side carts in India, where skilled vendors effortlessly toss the noodles in giant woks, creating an enticing aroma that lures passersby. The art of making Hakka noodles is still being passed down through generations, preserving the original spirit and pride that goes into every plate.

Special Delivery: Mailbox Lasagna

If you can make cookies in the car, why can’t you make lasagna in the mailbox?

This was the thought that propelled me forward on my next wild experiment. If global warming is going to get worse, I can only get weirder in response.

Why Lasagna In A Mailbox?

Many news stations like to offer this tantalizing idea as a quirky way to lighten the mood when oppressive summer heat sets in. The earliest reference I can find to it is from 2019, attributing it to the Nation Weather Service, but I can’t find that original reference. What’s more alarming is that despite being re-posted and shared thousands of times, I couldn’t find evidence that anyone had actually tried it. That’s where I come in.

The idea is that by prepping your meal in advance, stuffing it in a hot mailbox all day, it would bake though pure solar power, keeping the kitchen cool and saving electricity. I’m dubious that the actual cost savings would add up to a full cent, but given how prone my state is to rolling blackouts, I’ll do everything I can to conserve.

How To Make Mailbox Lasagna

The procedure is pretty much as you’d imagine, starting with your favorite lasagna recipe.

  • Use any lasagna recipe you prefer, scaled down accordingly to fit your pan. Use only fully cooked components (no raw proteins) to prevent potential food poisoning. While unlikely, it’s better to be safe than sick.
  • Make sure you use no-boil noodles, no matter what the recipe originally calls for.
  • Cover with foil to seal in the heat before placing it in the mailbox. Close the door and lock it if possible. This is to keep both nosy neighbors and hungry critters out.
  • Go about your day and let the lasagna “bake” for 6 to 10 hours.
  • Handle carefully, with potholders, because it will be hot! Remove the foil to check that the cheese has melted and your pasta is al dente. It won’t brown due to the lack of intense direct heat. The Maillard reaction only occurs at 149°C/300°F and higher.

Tips and Tricks

There are a lot more variables to contend with when using a mailbox instead of an actual oven. Bear in mind these factors before writing it into your dinner menu:

  • Ideally, plan this experiment for a Sunday or federal holiday so there’s no mail delivery that might end up in your meal.
  • Start by cleaning out your mailbox. If it’s anything like mine, it’s also full of dust, dirt, and the occasional spiderweb. None of those are great seasonings, so you’ll want to give the interior a good rinse before adding food.
  • Select a metal pan to better conduct heat, and make sure it fits inside your mailbox. I’d recommend a loaf pan in most cases, unless you have a giant mailbox equal in size to a conventional oven.
  • Start around late morning (10 or 11am) when the mailbox is in direct sunlight. There needs to be a high of at least 105℉ (40°C) outside to attempt this with any level of success. Sorry if it’s not as brutally hot in your neck of the woods; it simply won’t work otherwise.

What Does Lasagna Cooked In A Mailbox Taste Like?

Here’s the thing: It’s fine. Edible, for sure. The cheese comes out melt-y-ish if not fully melted (though your mileage may vary depending on your brand), the pasta is soft enough after sitting and soaking in sauce for a few hours, and if you started with flavorful sauce and filling ingredients, it tastes as good as those did to begin with.

It’s not as good as lasagna baked in the oven because it lacks the textural contrast of crispy edges, the caramelized bits and browned surfaces. It’s a novelty that can amuse your friends and scare your neighbors, not a culinary treasure.

Honest Thoughts On Mailbox Lasagna

Is it the best lasagna you’ve ever eaten? No.

Is it the easiest lasagna you’ve ever made? Also no.

But is it the silliest and most fun lasagna you’ve ever tried? Absolutely a strong contender. I’d love to hear if you’ve come up with something wackier, because that would be a must-make for me.

Join The Cult Of Celtuce

Do you have a moment to talk about our root and savior, celtuce?

Perhaps this girthy stem lettuce doesn’t have a cult following, and I’m not exactly the most convincing salesperson, but tasting is believing. I’m on a mission to spread the good word for this sadly unsung Chinese vegetable that deserves a fervent fan base. Since we last spoke of our planted redeemer, I haven’t seen a surge in popularity, so I’m back with another pitch that won’t miss.

Why You’ll Love This Celtuce Stir Fry

Pretty much anything can be stir fried with great success, but celtuce is a truly exceptional selection.

  • Cooks in minutes. High heat lightly cooks the food while keeping it tender-crisp throughout, making this a dish you can get on the table at a moment’s notice.
  • Minimal ingredients. Just a few pantry staples and fresh aromatics stand between you and instant gratification.
  • Bold, savory flavors. This is the real reason you’ll want to make this recipe again and again. A touch of nutty sesame oil goes a long way in adding depth and richness, bolstered by umami garlic chives and scallions. Warm fresh ginger and peppers spice things up, while a touch of black vinegar adds acid that cuts through it all, lingering with a gentle sweetness at the end.

How To Cut Celtuce

The thick skin protecting each stalk makes celtuce seem intimidating to break down, but it’s really a snap to hack.

  1. Use a sharp peeler or knife to cut away the thick outer skin. Remove the dried out bottom and leafy top.
  2. Slice it on a bias to make long strips, about 2 – 3mm wide.
  3. Stack a few of the strips at a time and cut those into thin ribbons.
  4. Repeat until the whole stalk is thinly julienned.

If you have any means of getting your hands on fresh celtuce, you’re doing yourself a disservice by leaving it at the store. Support your local Asian market, ask your closest specialty store to carry it, or even order it online. There’s nothing else quite like celtuce and once you’ve been enlightened by its virtues, you’ll become a believer, too.

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Jerk It Out

Certain foods fly under the radar, overshadowed by classic crowd-pleasers or passing trends. No matter how delicious, versatile, or accessible, they remain firmly out of sight, out of mind. Occasionally, something will shake us out of our stasis, forcing the question: Why don’t I eat this more often?

Speaking for myself, I’m talking about plantains here. Satisfyingly starchy, subtly sweet, I like to think of them as tropical potatoes rather than fruits. Anything spuds can do, plantains can do, too. Not to invoke Bubba Gump, but you can boil them, fry them, saute them, bake them, mash them, stew them… You get the picture.

Thus, inspired by my Za’atar Melting Potatoes from The Everyday Vegan Cheat Sheet, Jerk Melting Plantains are encrusted with jerk seasoning, roasted at high heat to a blackened, crispy finish while retaining a downright buttery interior. The result can only be described as downright juicy, succulent in a way that you might not expect from a starchy vegetable. Hopefully this will help you and me both remember to put plantains on the grocery list more often.

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