Peanut Lime Tempeh Wingz
Kate’s Buffalo Tofu Wingz
Grilled Chipotle BBQ Wings with Avocado Ranch
Fried Hen of the Woods and Waffles
D’orito Spice Chick’n Wings
Firecracker Honee Cauliflower Wingz
Chick-ish 66 Wings
Recipe testing for Fake Meat by Isa Chandra Moskowitz
Memories are like tattoos. They’re a permanent stain on our person, staying with us for life. Some visible to others, some not, they may change our perception of the world, or how the word perceives us. Indelible as they may be, no matter how many layers of skin the ink penetrates, no matter how deeply our thoughts alter our present, they do change.
Slowly, imperceptibly over the years, lines begin to blur. Colors become muddy. Once vibrant, sharp, crystalline pictures fade into confusion and darkness. Can you trust your own mind? Can you understand the symbols painted on your body? Does it all still make sense?
Memories can be painful, seared into our consciousness through traumatic events. Once they’re there, it’s almost impossible to remove their lingering outlines entirely, forever tracing around wrists and ankles like ghostly shackles. Cover-ups are like bandages with weak adhesive at best. No matter how many solid color blocks you add or intricate geometric designs, they’re still there, lurking beneath it all.
Sometimes our memories are tattoos, literally, and vice versa. If you could go back, would you change them? Would you paint a new picture? Would it even make a difference? The body underneath is always the same. It only matters what you do with it.
Portraits of and artwork by Squiggle Tats.
The original “liquid gold” was not a processed cheese food. The true gilded elixir is every bubbie’s secret ingredient, the indescribable element that always made her matzo balls better than the rest. A staple of Ashkenazi Jewish cooking, schmaltz is made from rendered chicken fat cooked with onions. Even in the height of the farm-to-table cooking craze when duck fat fries were all the rage, this humble grease never gained more attention. To this day, I have yet to see a single vegan alternative offered. In a world where we have plant-based ghee, browned butter, and niter kibbeh, I’m not asking, I’m demanding: WHY.
Vegan shmaltz is everything you want as a cooking catalyst and nothing you don’t. It’s free of cholesterol, completely kosher, full of flavor, and won’t leave your kitchen smelling like a barnyard for a week. As a nice side benefit, you’ll end up with a tidy pile of caramelized onions to lavish over meatless burgers, toast, scrambles, pasta, and anything else that could use a little umami assist.
Step up your matzo ball game by making this easy swap to replace the bland vegetable oil originally called for, but don’t stop there. Anywhere you might use melted butter, try using schmaltz instead. It will open up a whole new world of riches, bathed in a golden glow.
Steak Salad with Green Gorgonzola
Shredded Beef & Cabbage Salad
Madame Beefington
Coconut Roasted Root Vegetable Beef Stew
Chickpea & Beef Tagine
Cast Iron Steak with Onions
Boeuf Bourguignon
Recipe testing for Fake Meat by Isa Chandra Moskowitz
Back in my youth, before I hit my terminal oatmeal phase, crumpets were my daily breakfast staple. Run through the toaster just long enough to warm through, but not crisp, nothing could beat that speed and versatility. These were the dark ages before good vegan butter existed, so I would usually opt for a light smear of creamy peanut butter instead. If I was feeling particularly decadent, it would get a sprinkle of cinnamon and sliced banana on top, too. In the spare few minutes I had before running off to catch the train to school, that was the height of luxury.
I don’t know why I stopped eating crumpets. There were no supply chain issues to blame, no big falling out I can recall. I just seemed to suddenly forget about them for two decades.
And then, just as suddenly, that familiar craving came rushing back in a tsunami wave of nostalgia.
The texture is reminiscent of many similar bread products, yet stands alone as its own unique entity. Soft, spongy, and chewy, most people compare them to English muffins or pancakes, but I’d say they’re more like really thick injera made from wheat flour.
They’re very simple, yet surprisingly difficult to perfect. This was not my first attempt at making crumpets; shamefully, I’ve churned out more smooth flapjacks than I’d like to admit. It turns out that the secret is… Cheating.
It’s not anything as terrible as copying your classmate during the final exam. It just feels a bit like trickery when the key to creating that signature network of lacy holes is- Now don’t judge me here- To poke them open with a toothpick.
It’s not all forced, artificially manipulated texture, since they do bubble up naturally. A tiny touch of extra vital wheat gluten ensures that chewy texture, but it also makes the protein network just slightly too strong to burst open without a bit of help. You don’t need to go crazy and jab at the little skillet cakes relentlessly, but give them a little poke while you’re standing over the stove already, and they’ll be better than store-bought.
The holes are really what make crumpets so special. Providing a lacy network of pockets for clotted cream or melting butter to pool, it’s almost like a super soft waffle. They were made to be topped, lavishly or simply, to reach their full potential.
Crumpets are made of humble ingredients, with a downright silly preparation, but that’s all part of the fun. If you’ve ever wanted to relive your childish days of popping bubbles for fun, here’s a more productive way to indulge.
“This one is too fishy!” they exclaimed.
So, they tasted the carrot strips from the second bowl.
“This one is too bland,” they said.
Finally, they tasted the golden topping in the last bowl.
“Ahhh, this one is just right,” they said happily, and piled it high on an everything bagel with cream cheese.
And that’s the story of how Goldie Lox came to be.
There are many vegan smoked salmon options in the sea of plant-iful alternatives, most of which are really quite good, but none that I would crave. Carrot lox have come close, though are naturally just a touch too sweet, which overrides some of the more subtle seasoning.
One day, while fawning over a beautiful bouquet of leafy gold beets, it hit me. The pun was too perfect; it was meant to be.
Briny but not super salty, oceanic but not overtly fishy, silky and not mushy, rich but not unctuous. It’s a delicate balance that defines the best smoked salmon substitute. Mild-mannered gold beets make the best base, shining from beneath any garnishes with a gorgeous golden glow as a side benefit.
Beyond bagels, consider greater serving adventures, such as…
While this fairy tale will definitely end with “happily ever after,” when you have Goldie Lox show up for brunch, that’s only the beginning of this story.