A Finger On The Pulse Of Purim

Foods of vengeance know no bounds. It’s a well-known fact that we’ll eat Haman’s hat in the form of hamantaschen, but that’s just the start. In Sephardic culture, it’s equally acceptable, if not more celebrated, to eat Haman’s eyes (Moroccan Ojos de Haman), ears (an alternate interpretation for the traditional triangular hamantash), and fingers, too. Cannibalism not withstanding, these bodily baked goods deserve the spotlight just as much in your next mishloach manot.

This time around, I’d like to give the finger to each and every one of you, in the sweetest way possible.

Can’t Lay A Finger On This History

Hailing from Greece and Turkey, Haman’s Fingers are simple yet lavish pastries, reminiscent of single serving baklava. Rolled like cigars, phyllo pastry encases a filling of lightly sweetened chopped nuts, sometimes enriched with dried fruits, and flavored with a delicate hint of citrus, rosewater, and spices. Like the beloved hamantash, however, anything goes when we’re talking about modern interpretations. Coconut, seeds, chocolate, sprinkles; it’s all fair game. Who’s to say what the wicked Haman was really made of, anyway?

Swaps and Substitutions

Everyone should be able to get even with their oppressors and devour their digits. As such, this recipe is fully adaptable to accommodate all diets. Here’s how to make it…

  • Sugar-free: Substitute date sugar for the coconut sugar, or if you want a completely unrefined sweetener, try whole, pitted dates. Simply pulse them in at the same time as the nuts. Omit the optional confectioner’s sugar on top.
  • Nut-free: Seeds are your best friends! Pepitas and sunflower seeds especially make excellent fodder for the filling. Alternately, opt for shredded, unsweetened coconut, crunchy chickpea snacks, crispy rice cereal, or your favorite granola.
  • Gluten-free: Phyllo dough is tough to find without wheat, but even harder to make from scratch. If you’re willing to sacrifice some of that light, flaky texture, gluten-free wonton wrappers are fine substitutions in a pinch.

Chag Purim Sameach!

Make some noise, dress like a demon, and eat your enemies. No one will judge you for such transgressions on purim, especially when the results are so delicious.

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Bite The Biscuit

Biscuits and gravy are something of an American rite. Deeply embedded in Southern culinary traditions, where resourcefulness and simplicity birthed some of the most iconic comfort foods, it’s a dish that dates back to the founding of the nation. Early settlers, working with minimal, humble ingredients, found a way to transform simple dough and leftover meats into a meal that would warm both body and soul.

A glorious mess on a plate, there’s something inherently irresistible about flaky, buttery pastry drenched in a sea of velvety pan drippings. Now, imagine giving this timeless duo a modern twist, and taking it to go, right in the palm of your hand.

While the sensation is a revelation, the concept is anything but. In fact, it’s barely a recipe at all. More of a craft project than cooking, I simply brought together my umami shiitake gravy and basic flaky biscuits, baking them together in one fell swoop. Locked away within each fluffy biscuit, the gravy becomes a savory surprise, waiting to be discovered.

Biscuits For Days

Though I only have a few biscuit recipes online, they’re easily among of my most popular. If the basics bore you, try these flavorful variations on for size:

Too tired to start from scratch? There’s no shame in using accidentally vegan biscuit dough that’s ready for the oven in seconds.

It’s All Gravy

I’ll forever stand by my shiitake gravy as simply the best topping around, but there are certainly ways to dress it up. Consider adding…

  • For protein: sliced, diced, or crumbled plant-based sausage, baked tofu, tempeh, or TVP
  • For richness: vegan cheese shreds or sour cream
  • For flavor: hot sauce, Cajun seasoning, Italian seasoning, or a splash of wine

Good, To Go

Because comfort should never be confined to a table, a biscuit and gravy hand pie is your passport to indulgence on the go.They’re a tribute to the timeless allure of comfort food, a testament to the boundless possibilities of plant-based cuisine, and, most importantly, a delicious reminder that sometimes the best things in life are truly that simple.

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An Irrational Love Of Pie: Top 10 Recipes For Pi Day

Pi Day, a day when math meets mirth, looms on the horizon to add a dash of irrationality to our lives once again. March 14th, otherwise known as 3.14, allows the humble π and pie alike to take center stage. Having written a whole book about pies of the edible variety, naturally, I have a few suggestions on how best to celebrate.

Sweet and Savory Pi Creations

Most pastry, such as pie dough, is best made in advance and thoroughly chilled, so now is the time to plan for the big event. With a strong foundation in place, the kitchen is open to all mathematical possibilities. There’s nothing wrong with a classic apple or cherry filling, but wouldn’t it be more fun to try something new? Calculate ratios of more innovative ingredients to pay proper homage to our favorite never-ending decimal form.

Unleash Your Inner Baking Geek

Pies are an integral part of American culinary culture every day of the year. The phrase “as American as apple pie” didn’t come from nowhere, you know. Though we can’t lay claim to creating the edible art form, an honor that goes to the Ancient Egyptians, I’m ready to carry the torch in making some of the most continuously unconventional slices around. Never repetitive, always well-rounded, here are my top ten pie recipes to solve the perpetual question of how best to enjoy Pi Day.

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The Sharper Your Knife, The Less You’ll Cry

Being perpetually broke and terminally thrifty aren’t exactly qualities to brag about, but they have been an asset to my culinary creativity. When onions go on sale for $1 per 3 pounds, you’d better believe I’m already brainstorming ways to make them the foundation of my diet for the next few weeks. That is to say, sharpen your knives and get ready to shed some tears; onions are what’s for dinner.

Onions In The Spotlight

Onions don’t get enough respect as vegetables, every bit as worthy of your attention as social media darlings like Brussels sprouts or kale. They’re the backbone of almost every cuisine and the recipes found therein. From France to China, arbiters of good taste worldwide wouldn’t willingly omit the onions for anything. Just try sauteing up some onions in olive oil to see what I mean; anyone walking through the kitchen will immediately ask what smells so good.

What’s An Onion Casserole?

While I’ve often dispatched such a bounty by simply caramelizing then and freezing them for later, I wanted to stretch my meals in a different way during a particularly lean winter. Southern tradition has something called “Tennessee Onions,” bearing a strong resemblance to this similar casserole, but with a dairy-heavy slant. I’m taking the easy route by employing just plants, thank you very much.

Serving Up Onions With Style

In fact, it’s so easy, you don’t need to dirty a single bowl, or even a spatula. Put your onions in the baking dish, top with seasonings, and pop it in the oven. It pretty much cooks itself. Now, I’m not crazy, I know onions alone are not an entree, but they can make a strong side dish, just like you might serve steamed broccoli or roasted green beans alongside your favorite protein. What’s more, these silky, buttery flavor bombs are prime topping options for crusty bread, slow-simmered soups, layered dips, and so much more. Incorporate them into leftover rice or pasta for an instant flavor upgrade, or simply start your favorite recipes by skipping the first step of sauteing them from scratch.

In honor of the nearby Austin neighborhood, Onion Creek, I’m naming my take with local flare. They may not start the next TikTok craze, but their appeal is timeless and undeniable. Meltingly tender, sweet onions will never go out of style.

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Sweet On Potatoes

In the wake of the holidays, the impulse to overcompensate for celebratory indulgences can drive even sane eaters to the very edge of madness. New Year’s resolutions are almost always geared towards shaping up, and food is the first target to focus on. “Losing weight” has been the top response of those surveyed for over a decade running, and it’s no surprise considering how decadent those early winter feasts can become. By this time, two weeks into the year, roughly half of people have already admitted defeat and given up on those lofty aspirations.

Snack Happier

Rather than going down the path of deprivation and sad, austere meals, finding satisfying eats will prove much more effective in the long run. In fact, contrary to the traditional three-square-meal approach, it may be beneficial to add more nourishing, wholesome snacks. Plus, those midday munchies can be downright decadent in flavor without taking a toll on your waistline.

Eat The Whole Batch

Crunchy, lightly salted baked sweet potato chips fit the definition of health food while vanquishing cravings in one resounding bite. Naturally sweet, you’ll never miss the added sugars typically found in packaged treats, nor the extra oils used for frying. Paired with a deceptively simple, creamy dip, the duo could even pass for dessert, too. Owing its caramel flavor to nothing more than soft Medjool dates, dairy-free yogurt makes up the bulk of this probiotic-packed accompaniment.

Make It Your Own

Although you can’t go wrong with the classic approach, sprinkling a tiny pinch of coarse salt to heighten the existing essence of the potato, the sky is the limit for creative seasonings.

Choose your own flavor adventure! Try any of the following seasoning mixtures to spice things up a bit…

  • Simple Cinnamon Sugar: 1 Tablespoon Granulated Sugar + 1/2 Teaspoon Ground Cinnamon
  • Gingerbread: 1 Tablespoon Granulated Sugar + 1/2 Teaspoon Ground Ginger + 1/4 Teaspoon Ground Cinnamon + 1/8 Teaspoon Ground Nutmeg
  • Citrus Sunshine: 1 Tablespoon Granulated Sugar + 1 Teaspoon Orange Zest + 1 Teaspoon Lemon Zest
  • Sweet & Spicy: 1 Tablespoon Granulated Sugar + 1/4 Teaspoon Ground Black Pepper + 1/4 Teaspoon Cayenne Pepper

Riffle through your spice collection and go wild! These are just a few suggestions for my favorite flavors, but that’s only the beginning for this versatile chip.

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Propose A Toast

Quinoa, the superfood darling that’s taken the world by storm, isn’t the first thing you’d think of when it comes to dessert. Sure, there are plenty of wholesome quinoa puddings more akin to oatmeal than custard, and baked goods made with quinoa flour ground so finely you’d never know it was there. If you search for “quinoa cakes”, you’ll pull up hits for savory patties served on a bun with lettuce and tomato. Though I have no doubt that would be delicious, I’m more interested in the sweeter side of this pseudocereal right now.

Toasted Quinoa Pound Cake is an understated sensation for every occasion. You’d be forgiven for thinking it was a flat quick bread at a glance, fashioned into a loaf and cut into thick slices.

Whole grains aren’t exactly synonymous with decadence, and that’s not a knock on the concept either. In the face of holiday excess, I’d rather a less opulent indulgence to quell sweet cravings. However you want to rationalize it, you’ve got it. Everyone knows that quinoa is high in protein and fiber; it’s a much smarter, more satisfying choice than another slice of pumpkin pie! There’s no fooling the avid sweet tooth, though; a fair measure of sugar means there’s no mistaking a slice for an austere energy bar.

Why and How to Toast Quinoa

Much like the difference between sugar and caramel, it all starts with the same ingredient and differs with technique. Toasting quinoa unlocks a whole new depth of flavor, enhancing its inherent nutty, cereal notes, all while transforming it from pale beige to golden-brown. This process also removes moisture to give it a crunchy exterior. From there, it can be used as a substitute for breadcrumbs, topping for salads, mix-in for granola, and in my kitchen, an addition to cake batter.

There’s more than one way to toast quinoa…

The “best” approach is whichever method you’re willing to try!

  • In the oven: Preheat your oven to 375 degrees and line a sheet pan with a silicone baking mat. Spread out your cooked quinoa in as thin a layer as possible. Bake for 30 minutes, stirring every 10 minutes.
  • On the stove top: Place the cooked quinoa in a large non-stick pan with a splash of olive oil. Cook over medium heat, stirring frequently, for 10 – 15 minutes.

Let cool and store in an airtight container in the fridge for up to 5 days. It will soften over time but still be much more flavorful than plain cooked quinoa.

Serving Suggestions

As an everyday snacking cake, there’s nothing wrong with grabbing a slice without any fanfare. Its simplicity is a big part of its charm. Dense and tender, the crumb has a uniquely chewy quality to it, both soft and sturdy at the same time. Flecked with orange zest and a touch of almond extract, it can also play nicely with just about anything else you throw at it. I have yet to find a bad combination, but a few of my favorite suggestions include:

  • Top with whipped coconut cream and fresh berries. Add an extra sprinkle of citrus zest for flare.
  • Toast and smear with peanut butter.
  • Spoon cranberry sauce, apple compote, or orange marmalade on the side.
  • Use for making French toast.
  • Scoop ice cream on top and make a sundae.
  • Waffled and drizzled with maple syrup.

Quinoa pound cake is the unpretentious baked good that can show up at any party unannounced, without a making scene. When you want something that lands squarely between a treat and a healthy snack, as part of or an antidote to holiday festivities, this one recipe can do it all.

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