Cheese… in a dessert? Clearly, some terrible mistake has been made…
Pondering what deranged, misled cook thought it was a good idea to top a perfectly good apple pie with little shreds of florescent orange cheddar cheese, the combination struck me as downright repulsive. Perhaps sheltered from such cheesy practices, it wasn’t until reading about this oddity online, only a few years ago, did I even know such a thing existed. To each their own, but something as undeniably savory and even downright funky as cheese had no place on the dessert menu. No, not even a cheese course was appropriate in my eyes, the French be damned. I wanted my pie and nothing more!
Naturally, my morbid curiosity got the best of me even after I had verbally condemned the concept to a slow death. Maybe it was one of those things that was so bad, it was actually good, after all. When I finally had the opportunity to find out, I pounced, and eagerly set about experimenting, Teese in hand.
A few plain old hunks of sloppily cut “cheddar” wouldn’t do it though, not by a long shot. Hoping to increase the odds of creating something edible, I employed one of my favorite kitchen gadgets: The ice cream machine.
Your eyes do not lie- That is indeed a generous scoop of “cheddar” ice cream, perched upon a just-baked and still warm apple crisp. It sounds bizarre, and the fact that there’s no actual cheddar in it doesn’t help the cause much, but the results were truly less shocking that I had imagined. Despite emptying a whole package of the orange stuff into the ice cream base, the flavor was quite mild. What hit me first was a lovely bouquet of floral vanilla aroma, followed by the slightest hint of umami and a twang that might be hard for an unsuspecting taster to place. Moreover, what really made this frozen concoction special was the texture. Thanks to the abundant fat, a richer, smoother, and creamier custard could not be imagined. For that reason alone, I implore you to break down your ideas of “normal” and give the recipe a go! If you’re still intimidated by the idea of a cheesy ice cream, perhaps give the Mozzarella flavor a spin first, and rest assured that it’s hardly present when paired with a strong enough vanilla extract.
“Cheddar” Ice Cream
2 Cups Vanilla Soymilk
1 Tablespoon Arrowroot
1/2 Cup Granulated Sugar
10 Ounces Cheddar Teese
1/2 Teaspoon Vanilla Extract
Pinch Salt
Pinch Fresh Ground Pepper
First, allow all of your ingredients to come up to room temperature if they were previously refrigerated. This is critical, because the Teese changes significantly in texture, and becomes much softer and easier to melt when already warm.
Combine the soymilk, arrowroot, and sugar in a medium saucepan, and whisk vigorously to break up any lumps. Place on the stove over medium heat, and empty the tube of Teese into the pan, whisking gently until the mixture is smooth. Continue to whisk every couple of minutes, until the mixture comes to a boil. Cook for about a minute longer, until fully thickened, and turn off the heat. Add in the vanilla, and season with salt and pepper. Stir to incorporate.
Let cool, and chill thoroughly for at least 3 hours before churning in your ice cream machine according to the manufacturer’s directions. Transfer the soft ice cream to an air-tight container, and store it in the freezer for another 3 hours minimum, until frozen solid, before serving.