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Thankful

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Every past Thanksgiving, for as long as I can remember, has been a terribly ironic and unhappy day for me. Forced to look back and scrounge up some shallow and contrived reason to be thankful, nothing would come to mind, nothing but negative experiences and general discontent, every good thing in my life obscured in a fog of depression. Luckily, we never made a big scene of discussing the actual holiday, just slogged through it, so my dissatisfaction was only known through my incessant whines about having a big dead turkey on the table, how much work I could be doing if I had been left at home, and how little I wanted to talk to my relatives. Oh yes, I’m just a joy to be around on this occasion, and I know it.

2009, my 20th Thanksgiving, bears no greater happiness- In hindsight, it’s been a tough, unrewarding, and downright desperate year at times. However, that’s where the pattern ends. Despite all of that, it would be foolish to take all of my good luck for granted. For the family that continues to stand by and nurture me even as I sulk at the foot of the table, complaining about how there’s butter on practically everything; For the amazing opportunities I’ve had throughout the year, working with some fantastic people and organizations; For the support of every last reader who took the time to leave me just one or two words of encouragement in the comment section, and the few who delivered a whole novel’s-worth of pep talks;  For the nearly luxurious comfort of my home, and enough money to buy healthy, wholesome, vegan food; For the simple fact that I am still alive, as contrived as that may sound; For all of that, I am finally truly thankful, and endlessly grateful.

I hope everyone else can find at least one thing to be thankful for this year, too. Happy Thanksgiving, my friends!

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