Parm for the Course

Cravings don’t always make sense. That’s the beauty and madness of it all. Humans are completely inscrutable sometimes, and I’d nominate myself as a prime candidate to represent this phenomenon.

Why would I start craving something that I didn’t enjoy in the first place? It makes no sense. Thanks, I hate it, I’ll have some more, please. I offer no explanations, but a far more rational remedy to an illogical appetite.

Plant-based ParmCrisps have obvious appeal. Crisp, cheesy, snackable, and packable, they can be eaten out of hand or added to a larger meal. The trouble is, I just didn’t love them. To each their own, but for approximately $1.75 per miserly 1-ounce serving (which would never satisfy), those tiny treats had better be pure instant gratification, no holds barred, to be worth the investment.

We can, and will, do better. May I introduce my very own Parm-ish Crisps, fresh from the oven and easily tailored to your specific tastes?

With a texture you can really sink your teeth into, my version is a bit thicker and more substantial, which gives them a heartier bite. Boldly flavorful beyond what you might expect for such a short list of inclusions, it’s hard to stop at just a handful. They’re perfect for using as chips with dip, tossing into salad as croutons, or stashing for snacking on the go. Get fancy and build a full charcuterie board around them or eat them straight off the baking sheet before they even finish cooling.

These babies aren’t so precious that they need to be saved for a special occasion. It takes a scant handful of pantry ingredients and just a few minutes of your time, so you can fully indulge your cravings, reasonable or not, whenever they might hit.

As it stands, these savory little morsels are already gluten-free, grain-free, dairy-free, and eggless! To accommodate even more dietary restrictions, adaptation is easy.

  • Keto or Paleo: Replace the vegan butter with coconut oil.
  • Oil-Free: Replace the vegan butter and water with aquafaba.
  • Nut-Free: Replace the almond flour with sunflower seed flour.

Don’t forget about the flavor variations! Simple cheesy satisfaction is all I need most days, but you can easily change things up for a different flavor adventure everyday. There’s no limit to the possibilities, but here are some of my favorite options…

  • Salt and Vinegar: Omit the water and add 2 tablespoons of white vinegar. Sprinkle coarse sea salt on top before baking.
  • Pesto: Add 1/4 cup basil, finely minced, into the dough.
  • Everything Bagel: Sprinkle 2 tablespoons of everything bagel seasoning on top of the crackers, pressing it in gently before baking.
  • Buffalo: Add 1/2 tablespoon of hot sauce and reduce the water to 1 1/2 tablespoons.
  • Garlic and Herb: Mix 1 tablespoons of herbs de Provence or Italian seasoning and 1 1/2 teaspoons of garlic powder into the dough.
  • Smoky Tomato: Omit the water and add 2 tablespoons of smooth tomato sauce and 1 teaspoon of liquid smoke to the dough.

No matter what you’re craving, or why you’re craving it, these cheesy treats should do the trick.

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Vegan Baking Basics

Butter, eggs, and milk, essential staples of traditional desserts, no longer need apply when it comes to baking up the best treats. Vegan alternatives have come a long way in recent years, making it effortless to create sweet delights that are not only as good as the traditional recipes, but often even better. The results may seem magical, but there are no tricky secrets to unveil here! A few simple swaps will reveal just how easy to is to bake completely plant-based delicacies.

When it comes to converting classic recipes, there are no hard and fast rules, but guidelines to help steer you in the right direction. It may take a bit of fine-tuning to get just the right combination, so don’t get frustrated if it’s not perfect on the first try. Here are just a few ideas to get you started:

To replace butter, the options available on the mainstream market have never been more abundant or more delicious. Some name brands contain whey or other milk-derivatives, while others conceal the elusive, animal-derived Vitamin D3, so be alert when scanning ingredient labels. For ease, I prefer to use it in stick format, such as Earth Balance Buttery Sticks or Miyoko’s Creamery European Style Cultured Vegan Butter. Never try to substitute spreadable butter from a tub! These varieties have much more water to allow them to spread while cold, and will thus bake and cook differently.

  • Alternatively, if the recipe calls for melted butter, you can often substitute melted coconut oil at a 1:1 ratio. Just be careful to select refined coconut oil, as virgin coconut oil will impart a distinctive tropical taste.

To replace milk, an unlimited range of perfect replacements beckon from the dairy aisle! Once limited to sour, beany soy, you can now choose from milks made of hemp seeds, oats, almonds, cashews, flaxseed, and more. They’re all mostly interchangeable when it comes to baking applications, as long as you opt for a variety that is unflavored and unsweetened. Rice milk is the only sort that doesn’t make the cut for me, personally, as it tends to be watery, and in the worst cases, gritty.

  • To recreate buttermilk, simply place 1 teaspoon apple cider vinegar in a 1 cup measuring scoop before filling the rest of the way with your non-dairy milk of choice. Stir gently to combine and let “curdle” for a few minutes before proceeding.
  • To replace cream or heavy cream, pure, full-fat coconut milk is the answer. Shake well and use it straight for ice cream, but if you want to make a light whipped topping, let the can chill in your fridge overnight. Scoop out the thick white cream on top and place it in the bowl of your stand mixer, leaving the clear water at the bottom. The water can’t be whipped, but don’t discard it; It’s fantastic in smoothies, curries, and many other recipes! Beat the cream on high speed for about 5 – 8 minutes until fluffy. Sprinkle in a touch of sugar, if desired.

To replace eggs, the possibilities are vast. Bear in mind that the greater number of eggs you try to remove, the more difficult it will be to achieve consistent results. I would feel comfortable replacing up to three eggs in most recipes before needing to do more invasive structural rewiring for the rest of the formula. Bear in mind that the average medium egg is about 3 tablespoons in volume, whereas a large is closer to 4 tablespoons, so adjust accordingly.

  • My favorite eggless binder is aquafaba, the not-so-secret ingredient taking the world by storm, dubbed a “miracle” by some and a food science breakthrough by others. Believe it or not, it’s simply the excess liquid found in any ordinary can of chickpeas. Any bean can produce aquafaba, but the unique ratio of protein and starch found in garbanzo beans has been found to best mimic the unique binding and whipping properties previously only seen in egg whites. For more delicate applications like meringues or marshmallow fluff, you can always concentrate your aquafaba to create a stronger foam matrix by cooking it gently over the stove and reducing some of the water.
  • Otherwise, flaxseed or chia seed gel performs beautifully in most applications, particularly savory baked goods and breads. It takes a ratio of 3:1, water to ground seeds, mixed up and let sit for a few minutes to thicken. Make sure the seeds are ground very finely for the gel to be most effective, and least noticeable in the final texture.
  • Old-school alternatives include mashed banana, applesauce, and pumpkin puree, which work fine in heartier muffins and cakes, but inevitably contribute a denser texture and influence the overall flavor.

Rewrite your grocery lists, skip the animal products, and begin preheating your oven. Happy baking!

Cheese Head

Cheese still looms large as a barrier for otherwise open-minded eaters dabbling with veganism. It’s not just because it tastes good, as they claim, but it’s a genuine addiction. Casein, the most abundant protein found in dairy cheese, triggers the brain’s opioid receptors exactly like hard drugs. Fragments of that protein called casomorphins attach to the same brain receptors as heroin and other narcotics, producing a hit of dopamine with every bite.

The first step towards cheese freedom isn’t necessarily abstinence. No one needs to live without cheese entirely; in this day and age, there are nearly as many plant-based options on the market as conventional wheels, slices, and shreds. No longer can anyone claim a lack of flavors or accessibility as their excuse. Of course, whenever possible, homemade is still always best.

This herb-encrusted cashew cheese is a decadent and creamy homemade dairy-free cheese alternate. Spread it on toast or crackers as thickly as you please! The most-difficult part of the process is waiting for the cashew-based ‘curds’ to solidify. You’ll want to throw a wine and cheese party the moment your prize is ready, but you’d be forgiven for wanting to save every bite for yourself.

Unlike its dairy-based doppelganger, cashew cheese is a genuinely beneficial whole food, packed with vitamins, magnesium, calcium, and is also a good source of protein and fiber. In fact, it is actually higher in vitamins and minerals than standard cheese! Now you can indulge in good conscience and good health.

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It’s My Party and I’ll Dry If I Want To

When it comes to food preservation, no technique has withstood the test of time quite like drying and dehydration. Used as early as 12,000 BCE, prehistoric people discovered that they could sun-dry seeds to extend their lifespan exponentially. To this day, the very same approach is a perfectly reasonable way to put away fruits and vegetables for later days. The process can even intensify flavors, transforming simple ingredients into entirely new building blocks capable of creating richer eating experiences altogether.

Such is the case for Sugimoto shiitake mushrooms, which gain all of their incredible umami and tanmi qualities through careful dehydration. In the olden days, freshly harvested shiitake were dried over wood or charcoal fires, incorporating a more smoky, woodsy flavor, and also a lot more uncontrollable variation. If the fires burned too hot, the mushrooms would shrivel up, dried to a crisp. Too cold, and the tortuously slow drying process would destroy much of the delicate taste and aroma.

Now employing the best technology in the business, far-infrared drying reduces the moisture content quickly and efficiently while removing any possible insect or microbe content. This is why Sugimoto is the only shiitake mushroom company in the world that has received kosher certification.

Pantry staples that won’t let you down, waiting patiently for their time to shine, are crucial for quick meals, times of scarcity, and outright emergencies. When the winter storm knocked out power for days and water for weeks, you’d better believe I was thanking my lucky stars I had all sorts of dried soups saved away. Beyond just making for an easy, comforting starter, powdered soup mixes can be the catalyst to countless meals. Add a packet to sour cream and you’ve got a bowlful of dip, ready to party. Toss it with cubes of tofu for a flavorful, crispy finish. And of course, rehydrate it with less liquid to make a concentrate, mimicking America’s favorite casserole starter for all sorts of hotdishes.

You can effortlessly make your own instant cream of mushroom soup mix yourself to bypass any dairy or questionable ingredients. Sugimoto dried shiitake powder is the essential base that lays a foundation of incredible savory flavor, blending seamlessly into a creamy almond flour foundation. Ample pieces of chopped shiitake mushrooms add a more satisfying texture, making it a delight to enjoy all by itself. Springing back to life with just a little water and warmth, it’s a deeply soothing, soulful blend that could be the catalyst to many more meals to come.

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Greatfruits

Life is like a box of CSA produce: You never know what you’re gonna get.

We all know what to do when life gives you lemons, but what about grapefruits? Sure, you could give them the same treatment and turn them into grapefruit-ade, but it doesn’t have the same kind of ring. Simply topped with a sprinkle of sugar and brûléed for breakfast is a nice treat, but it feels like so much work to painstakingly dig out each little segment first thing in the morning. When all I want to do is just go back to bed, that level of effort is really asking a lot.

Best suited for advanced preparation, they’re a perfect match with chia pudding, soaked overnight and ready to enjoy no matter when the alarm clock rings. As both an ingredient and topper, the excess grapefruits infuse the whole elegant assembly with bright, citrus flavor. Perfumed with floral notes from orange blossom water and the distinctly spicy taste of cardamom, the pudding itself contains volumes of rich, complex flavor that far exceed the average bowl of oats.

Simple grapefruit supremes would be a fine topper for a simpler finish, but they take on greater substance when gently gelled with agar, straddling the line between jelly and compote. Full of zest to spark your enthusiasm for a fresh new day, grapefruit will suddenly become the shining star amongst the predictable array of seasonal produce picks.

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Whiskey Business

The Irish weren’t the first to turn malted barley into whiskey over 3,000 years ago, but they certainly propelled the distilled mash into the art form we know today. Baileys in particular is eponymous with the cream-spiked brew, ranking as one of the most recognizable, top-selling liqueurs worldwide. The brand itself has been around for less than 50 years, but you’d be hard pressed to find any bar without an open bottle handy.

That kind of success goes well beyond the “luck of the Irish.” Adapting deftly to the rise of dairy-free drinkers, Baileys Almande continues to make waves among the imbibers in the know. A subtly nutty almond milk base complements the notes of sweet vanilla, with a bracing whisky bite. You don’t need to be well-versed in mixology to appreciate that kind of indulgent blend.

Baileys isn’t the only option for luscious liqueur, though. Making your own at home is both effortless and economical. Taking a page from the original spirited tipple, my DIY approach incorporates a touch of cocoa and coffee for a gentle mocha kiss. Flawlessly smooth and creamy, a straight shot envelopes the palate like liquefied ice cream, with an extra kick.

Serve it thoroughly chilled, on the rocks, for an instant after dinner treat, or use it as the catalyst for bolder culinary experiments. From brownies to cheesecakes, French toast to hot chocolate, it’s an incredibly versatile ingredient in its own right.

Forget beer and seltzer; this is the real gateway drug to adult beverages.

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