It’s a highly contagious ailment that has no cure and no one is immune to. Spreading like wildfire once exposed to any considerable population, it could take down all of civilization as we know it in mere days. Don’t be alarmed, but there’s no sugar-coating the fact that we’re all at risk for this ruthless malady. Identifying those affected is an easy task, however- Just look for the glassy eyes, goofy smiles, stuttering, rapid heart beat, and lack of coordination. These people are to be avoided at all costs, because they’re likely to spread their affliction in the blink of an eye, without even knowing it. Sadly, most are far beyond saving by the time their symptoms become evident, as they’re often head-over-heels… In love!
As you can see, this horrible, gruesome affliction turns mild-mannered folks into certifiable hug monsters. Especially dangerous as Valentine’s Day approaches, one suffering from the disease is liable to latch on to the nearest person and simply hug and squeeze until they turn blue. Their system overwhelmed with more love than they can handle, hugs are the only way to release any of the otherwise painful tension. It’s such a terribly sad thing to see.
So guard yourselves, cross Valentine’s Day off your calendar, and stay away from anyone you care about, or you too might become an unwitting victim! I don’t mean to alarm anyone, but left unchecked, I’m afraid this thing called “love” might just take over the world, if we sit back and let it.
Happy Valentine’s Day, everyone! Make sure you give a hug to everyone you love!
[Pattern available at MochiMochi Land]