Such a Teese

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by Hannah (BitterSweet)

Its official: The final frontier of veganism has been reached. Dairy and casein-free cheese, that illusive substance that has typically tasted like burnt plastic at best, is now just as good, if not better than the original animal product. And this time, it really melts- Not just sort of, if you coddle it and sing it sweet songs while it stews for an hour- But throw it under a broiler and it becomes gooey, creamy, and everything one could hope for in any sort of cheese. Teese, the newest kid on the “cheese”-making block, has taken the vegan world by storm, showing up in innumerable commercial restaurants and homes alike. I’m actually a bit late to this party, as you can find reviews of this stuff all over the place, but I just had to check it out for myself anyways.

Arriving in the shape of a plump sausage, wrapped up tightly in red plastic, I must admit I was a bit dubious at first. Knowing full well that it would be good after reading so many rave reviews, it was just a matter of getting past the packaging to focus on the savory goodness that lay within. Peeling back the faux casing, I was struck by how genuinely cheesy it smelled! I don’t know what else I was expecting, but it stopped me dead in my tracks, and I simply couldn’t decide what to do with it first. Not wanting to go with the pizza route since everyone and their mother had already done so, I quickly defrosted a package of puff pastry and made a similar, but different concoction.

While I may have ended up with a bit more pastry than intended, there wasn’t a single flaw with the filling. Combined with a simple dice of roasted red peppers and fresh herbs, the Teese took on a delightfully soft, gooey texture. Mild but with a good hit of salt, it was everything one might expect from your average mozzarella. Grating easily to the point of mush, I tossed the remaining brick into the freezer after this first experiment. For a more user-friendly consistency, I would suggest storing it there regardless of its final destination.

Next, I knew I would really be pushing it by going against all wisdom of working with faux cheeses: Eating it raw. Every time I tried unadulterated “cheese” products previously, my taste buds rebelled so severely that you would have thought I was eating oil-soaked rubber. Hoping that it would be different with the magical Teese, I whipped up a quick caprese salad (Note: This was before the recent tomato recall, in case you were wondering!)

Most surprising of my entire trial was how tasty this stuff was with just a drizzle of olive oil, accompanied by sliced tomatoes and basil fresh from the garden. An excellent platter to start off a meal with, even my omnivorous mom agreed that it was quite palatable! Her thoughts were that it tasted like low-fat (dairy) cheese, as it had a lighter texture, and wasn’t quite as smooth or dense. Talk about impressive!

Finally, there were ravioli, one of my childhood favorites. I cheated a bit by using wonton wrappers as the pasta, but really, it’s pretty tough to screw up when you have such an amazing filling. Just some grated tease, herbs, salt, and pepper created the innards, and I had an incredibly delicious meal in mere minutes. You could also thin it out a bit and add more protein by mashing in some tofu, but this stuff does wonders on its own. Seriously, do I even need to tell you how amazing it was?

If you’ve been holding out on buying Teese due to bad faux cheese experiences in the past, but are craving melty, irresistible cheesy decadence, what are you waiting for? Go order a pound or two of this, right now!

[Written for Go Dairy Free.]

38 thoughts on “Such a Teese”

  1. Dang! Those puff pastry bites look killer! I thin I may need to make some ravioli as well! Thanks for the ideas, I was wondering what to do next with my block of Teese.

  3. Hey, I’ just wanted to say that I love your blog and I’m glad I’m not the only one up at this hour! lol but those pastry bites look amazing! They’re making me hungry just looking at them! I’d just like to thank you for writing this blog. It always cheers me up. So thank you!

  7. I would have never thought of using Teese in puff pastry or even eating it raw! I have some now in my freezer that I’m saving up for when I crave pizza, but I will now keep your dishes in mind and use the Teese for them as well!

  10. This sounds like a dream come true! I was eating some soy cheese last night, but saw that there actually was some milk protein in it and it wasn’t vegan. I’ll be looking for Teese!

  12. Wow, that looks delicious! And you ate it raw?! I just wish they sold it at a local store, instead of online…. maybe some day soon.

  13. Oh I love your little puff pastry pizzas! I can’t believe you enjoyed it raw!! I got some Teese before they had their final version done, and it was a little salty for me. This just makes me want to get out and order more!
    And now I will be on a quest to find egg free wonton wrappers. Your raviolis are stunning.

  14. I can’t believe it tastes good raw! I will be ordering this very soon i’ve been craving pizza like crazy! Your puff pastry pizzas look so fancy, I love them =]

  15. I love the way you folded the puff pastry, so pretty. And the caprese and ravioli! Those were two things I wanted to try with my Teese, but I had so many ideas I didn’t get to them and ran out. It’s so good.

  16. You made good use of that cheese. I love caprese salad. Kevin over at closet cooking made a rather tasty version of it with mango instead of tomato with a balsamic dressing, yum. You may like that.
    I read the tomato report and thought it very funny that they asked people eating McDonalds if they were concerned about the tomato scare. Ho ironic is that?

  17. OMG! How wonderful! I was just planning to make an order, reviews unread, from Vegan Essentials. I’m totally desperate for cheezy pizza right now. THANK YOU for your excellent review. Now I can order without reservation and look forward to caprese again.

  18. That is cool that they can finally get it to melt. Now if they could only do that with fat free cheese.
    You must be so delighted.

  20. Ok, this is awesome news. Before going vegan, cheese was one of my favourite things and, as you pointed out, pretty much every substitute out there is woefully bad. I reeeeeealllly hope this is available in Canada!

  21. The puff pastry styling is so very pretty! And your own garden basil too? Fancy that! You definitely are not the last one to try Teese; I only first tasted it last week. But, I don’t like it! Gasp! I might be the only person to dislike Teese…Anybody want the log in my freezer?!

  22. Hannah dear!! :-D i find great this chance for a vegan person…I’m not and I’m not even vegetarian you know..but i just adore reading your blog and knowing more and more about this world that interests me so much..so thank you for sharing and for being you
    :-D I think I’m the only no-vegan person visiting your blog :-)..will you forgive me?
    Silvia

  23. I am definitely trying this, Hannah. I hope they come up with better vegan yogurt too. BTW, local-grown, organic tomatoes are safer. It is the imported one in the center of the issue. Or so the farmer said.

  25. Can you buy it online? Because I’ve been craving cheese like mad. Otherwise you’re going to have to hook me up with a teeny nibble. Juuuuust the teeniest nibble?

  26. Wow, I never thought I’d see the day of tomato and fresh mozzarella salad made with vegan cheese. Teese is really that good?!

  28. Fabulous post, thank you so much for the review. I was never a big cheese (or milk or egg for that matter) person before going Vegan so I’ve never given a second thought to missing cheese. But my fiance, on the other hand, misses it and is going to be so happy to hear that you gave Teese a thumbs up. Unfortunately, I’m sure we can’t get in here in Bahrain, so we’ll just have to be patient until we head back to the states!

  29. This cheese sounds really good. I’m not vegan, but I wouldn’t mind eating less dairy. I wonder if I can find something as good here.

    take care,
    nora

  32. I too am blown away by your little pastry squares! So cute. I want to copy your idea for a catering gig in a few weeks. I’ll be filling mine with Cheezly and roast pumpkin and pumpkin seeds – we don’t have Teese here yet.

  34. Man, I wish I lived in the States right now because everybody seems to be teasing me with this new tease! I was amazed to find that lo and behold, plain old soy cheese has arrived at select supermarkets in Japan, though how can I possibly use it with all this tantalizing (virtual) teese around! Can’t wait to cook with it when I come back for a visit. Keep up the good work.

  35. Hi Hannah,

    I just ventured onto your blog thanks to cream puffs in Venice. I am just wondering how you shaped the puff pastry, it looks delicious… pls. do share if you don’t mind… thanks and its an awesome blog….

  36. the ravioli look soooooo cute. what brand are your wonton wrappers? The brands I usually see around contain egg. Thanks in advance… you can email me at karmafreecooking{at}yahoo{dot}com.

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