Drunk Punk Bunny

As someone who could be described as the polar opposite of a social butterfly, having so many other people within such close proximity is a new and somewhat disturbing thing. Having a friend drop in with no notice is a wonderful surprise, something I had never experienced before due to a home that was located smack-dab in the middle of nowhere, USA. This would all be well and good, but it seems as if these good friends might be hard to come by, and all too often it’s the inconsiderate jerk who shows up at your door instead.

Come midnight, I tend to enjoy sleeping, but I seem to be the odd man out on campus. Without curfew or parental guidance, I don’t blame these kids for wanting to run free, doing as they wish without a care in the world… But that doesn’t mean that I condone the wild antics I’ve observed in this short week or so. Crazy parties with music blasting out all windows at these typically quiet hours of the night are not such a nice thing, but even worse is when someone goes out of their way to be a nuisance to those who would prefer to actually get some rest. Such was the case when a knock on the door came last night, making for quite a rude awakening.

Oh, look who came by to visit, an old “friend” of mine! Already plastered and looking a bit unsteady on his feet, it might not have even occurred to him what day of the week it was, let alone what time of day. Caught red handed with the bottle of beer still adhered firmly in his iron grip, he burped out a half-way coherent invitation for me to come join the party down the hall. Enticing as that sounded, I gently refused and started closing the door, but this “friend” wouldn’t hear any of it- Who wouldn’t want to party all night and get completely smashed, after all? Settling down as gracefully as a sedated elephant right where he had stood, I couldn’t very well slam the door with this huge, flabby obstruction- I mean, body, right there.

Continuing to plead his case in attempts to pry me out of bed and into the disorienting mix of too many bodies, too much alcohol, and too loud music, things were looking worse and worse by the minute- For the both of us. Eye staying closed for a little bit longer than the standard blink, the booze appeared to finally be getting the best of his already compromised brain. Still, holding on to his previous threat of taking me to the party, I feared there would be no polite way to refuse. Truly, I do still care about this guy… He just needs to learn some manners is all. Lest I lose more friends than I make, I slowly began to put on socks and shoes just to see what all the commotion was about, all the while prepared to make a wild dash back to the safety of my bed after a maximum of 5 minutes. Securing buckles and shoe laces, I looked back to my “friend” to announce that I would give into his pleas just this one time… Only to find that the issue had already resolved itself.

Flat out on his back, he was clearly unfit to do more partying tonight at least! Thankfully for me, the alcohol had gotten the best of him this time- I just hope that he can tone down his voracious appetite for beer next time the am hours roll around.