America’s Favorite Cookie

Bet you can’t eat just one!, A famous potato chip maker once taunted in advertisements, challenging buyers to just try not to absolutely gorge themselves on their product, knowing that it was too full of artificial flavors and chemicals for the average human palate to resist. Thankfully, such crude suggestions no longer show up in modern commercials (as far as I know) now that the truth about the addictive qualities of both fat and sugar are public knowledge. Still, that doesn’t mean that food cravings never get the best of us, and this previously absurd challenge becomes proven over and over again.

Sit there smugly in front of your computer, think it would be different in your case, but it is easy to forget one’s own animal instincts still reside just below the surface, waiting for that next morsel of junk food to unleash themselves again. Don’t be ashamed; It happens to the best of us, because no one’s perfect. Keep yourself on a short chain? Unfortunately, you may be all the more likely to snap the hardest someday. Even in an innocent, practically unconscious act, food addicts find a way to manipulate your hands and mouth, forcing you to reach for yet another cookie, even though you meant to stop eating about 5 cookies ago. This is how it’s so easy to suddenly find yourself with only half a package of Joe Joe’s (Trader Joe’s brand Oreos) when they were only purchased a few short hour ago.

Embarrassed at such carnal behavior, I tried in vain to cover up my plight before anyone else reached for this ravaged box of cookies. How does one hide missing food stuffs? Well… Try to replace it, I guess.

Only after the first two impostors had landed in their plastic tomb did I remember that these were actually chocolate-stuffed Joe Joe’s, not vanilla creme as I had recalled! Just goes to show how much I actually enjoyed my gorge, not even taking the time to note exactly what I had just put in my mouth! Ah well, they’re close enough, right? Should the casual observer decide to peruse the shelves for a snack, I figured that in taking such a brief inventory, small details like the actual consistency of the Joe Joe’s might be overlooked in a glance.

Somehow, it seemed to be working! For a day or two, no one said anything about the cookies or lack there of. Needless to say, that’s only because no one actually ventured to open the box and examine their suspicious contents for that amount of time.

Close, but not close enough to eat. My scheme to replace the cookies probably would have worked better had I at least used edible materials!