BitterSweet

An Obsession with All Things Handmade and Home-Cooked

America’s Favorite Cookie

13 Comments

Bet you can’t eat just one!, A famous potato chip maker once taunted in advertisements, challenging buyers to just try not to absolutely gorge themselves on their product, knowing that it was too full of artificial flavors and chemicals for the average human palate to resist. Thankfully, such crude suggestions no longer show up in modern commercials (as far as I know) now that the truth about the addictive qualities of both fat and sugar are public knowledge. Still, that doesn’t mean that food cravings never get the best of us, and this previously absurd challenge becomes proven over and over again.

Sit there smugly in front of your computer, think it would be different in your case, but it is easy to forget one’s own animal instincts still reside just below the surface, waiting for that next morsel of junk food to unleash themselves again. Don’t be ashamed; It happens to the best of us, because no one’s perfect. Keep yourself on a short chain? Unfortunately, you may be all the more likely to snap the hardest someday. Even in an innocent, practically unconscious act, food addicts find a way to manipulate your hands and mouth, forcing you to reach for yet another cookie, even though you meant to stop eating about 5 cookies ago. This is how it’s so easy to suddenly find yourself with only half a package of Joe Joe’s (Trader Joe’s brand Oreos) when they were only purchased a few short hour ago.

Embarrassed at such carnal behavior, I tried in vain to cover up my plight before anyone else reached for this ravaged box of cookies. How does one hide missing food stuffs? Well… Try to replace it, I guess.

Only after the first two impostors had landed in their plastic tomb did I remember that these were actually chocolate-stuffed Joe Joe’s, not vanilla creme as I had recalled! Just goes to show how much I actually enjoyed my gorge, not even taking the time to note exactly what I had just put in my mouth! Ah well, they’re close enough, right? Should the casual observer decide to peruse the shelves for a snack, I figured that in taking such a brief inventory, small details like the actual consistency of the Joe Joe’s might be overlooked in a glance.

Somehow, it seemed to be working! For a day or two, no one said anything about the cookies or lack there of. Needless to say, that’s only because no one actually ventured to open the box and examine their suspicious contents for that amount of time.

Close, but not close enough to eat. My scheme to replace the cookies probably would have worked better had I at least used edible materials!

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Author: Hannah Kaminsky

Author of My Sweet Vegan, Vegan Desserts, Vegan a la Mode, and Easy as Vegan Pie.

13 thoughts on “America’s Favorite Cookie

  1. Yours look WAY better than the real thing. In fact they could also pass for tiny whoopie pies, just in case you ever need an emergency substitution in that realm too. If I end up at the bakery today, I will send you a bill for the gas.

  2. Very nice! And I am enjoying my vanilla creme Joe-Joe’s VERY much! Although they do not taste quite as good as the bon bons! Thanks again :) Comfort bear is eyeing the joe-joe’s as we speak…

  3. i will never know how you put these together so fast!!! do you KNOW how long it takes ME to make anything knit!

  4. Those are the most realistic looking yarn cookies I’ve ever seen!

  5. these are so fun to make!!

  6. I would love the pattern. Are you giving it out?

  7. where can I get this pattern its fab!

  8. Oh boy, the oreo cookie!! I made them many years ago and used them as Christmas ornaments. Two years ago, I started adding the little letter beads with the word oreo on them. That looked really cute. I like them without the word, but when selling them some people would ask, “what is this?” Sometimes ya just gotta spell it out for some people!! LOL Great job, I love making them..

  9. What a wonderful biscuit pattern. If you are giving it away free, I would love an email copy please.
    Kindest regards from South Africa

  10. is it possible to get this cookie pattern?

  11. I love the cookies! They’re so cute and make me want to bake something! Where can I find their pattern?

  12. these cookies are yummy.

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